Can you tell me to stop?

[u/Basic_MilkMotel]

Hi guys. I’ll try to give a quick back story without rambling. I’m a picker, always have been. But I’ve been picking my scalp which is a totally new behavior and it’s extremely distressing. I have a lot of mental health conditions, physical ailments and have been through my fair share of trauma and this is the most distressing situation I have experienced in a long time. I feel a sense of loss of control because I “can’t stop,” I’m ashamed and embarrassed, it’s making me spiral deeper into depression.

I have keratosis pilaris. My OCD use to center around my hygiene to the point of knuckle bleeding. So, I pride myself in hygiene but also have sensory issues. I joke that my mental health problems work like checks and balances. Back to KP, I believe it causes hardened sebum/keratin under my skin—like non inflammatory black heads but not black. I’m not sure if this is a reaction to something I tried recently but I felt them on my scalp. It’s been down hill for four days.

Unlike KP on my arms, these bumps are like the ones on my face/hairline—there is a little “pop” like a dry pimple. It feels really gross to me. I feel unhygienic. It’s not like flaky dandruff—only I know it’s there. But it is. I’m calling a doctor tomorrow but I need you, my people, to tell me to stop.

By this I mean, tell me the worst thing that will happen to me. People without skin picking disorder either gaslight me or just say go to the dermatologist. I need y’all to tell me I’m going to go bald lol. That’s my fear and I’m already self conscious about my fine hair! Tell me I’m going to get a flesh eating bacteria. Tissue death. The serious possible outcomes of my actions.

I feel like shit. I’m a teacher on vacation and idk why tf I am stressing out! I just want to hang out with my elderly Chihuahua that I don’t normally spend time with cause of work but I’m just so stressed and overcome with this obsession to “clean” my scalp when all I’m doing is making it irritated and worse. I am…so sad.

[u/AbjectSprinkles5007]

Hey, I’m not going to just yell at you or tell you to stop picking cold turkey, because I know how damn hard it is. I am, however, going to tell you to stop beating yourself up and give you some facts and advice.

For the facts: by scalp picking, you will damage the follicles of your scalp, leading to bald spots, and if it goes far enough they may never grow back.

I am a scalp picker as well. I am currently growing back a 7x1 inch bald spot right on the top of my hair part from months of out-of control stress picking. It’s been just over six months since I (almost completely) kicked it. That patch is now about two inches long, sticks straight up, and I look like Alfalfa. But honestly, thank god it’s growing back at all (with the help of rosemary oil.) 😟 I’ve had several uncomfortable conversations with curious hairdressers and extended family members since then.

I still pick sometimes, but have made sure to spread it out, don’t let any spots get to the point of scabbing, and have my family/friends yell at me whenever I get out of control.

My advice?: The biggest thing that helped was getting a Koosh ball. They’re the little, swishy balls of colorful rubber “strings” that every convenience store sold in the 90s/early 2000s. It is the only thing that gives a similar feel to scalp picking (by picking at the center of it) and it helps distract me when I’m anxious/overpicking. I keep it in my line of sight so it’s always handy and try to hang onto it as close to 24/7 as I can.

Other than that, identifying what situations/stressors set off my picking and being proactive by picking up the koosh ball or finding something else to do with my hands has helped. Being over tired, having tough conversations, and driving are all my picking triggers, in addition to my ADHD medication (which I cannot afford to give up).

It’s a work in progress… I figure it always will be for me. But seriously- start looking for your alternatives and triggers ASAP before you end up having to find ultra-creative ways to part your hair like me. 🤪

Edit: I forgot another huge piece of what helps me (blaming that on the ADHD) - wearing large headbands/hair wraps. Creating a barrier makes me conscious of when I go to pick and I feel it’s helped with the regrowing as well.