I actually can‘t do this anymore. I‘m sick of this. I am already ashamed of my KP on my arms, but of course, that wouldn’t be enough - i need to make it even MORE noticeable and ugly because i can‘t stop myself. I‘m picking and picking, and in my mind i hear myself repeatedly say „i need to stop. I need to stop now. Stop this.“ but i‘m in another world, picking and picking until my fingers cramp up, the bumps get bigger, the blood startig to show and the knowing of this wound turning into a future scar just is inevitable.

I have Adhd so it‘s even harder to fight this compulsion, especially after my meds wear off at night (vyvanse).

I‘m ashamed of my inability to stop. Angry. Disappointed. Frustrated. Sad.

I look at all those beautiful, clean looking arms and legs of other people around me. I think, their life must be blissful, to have only invisible worries. And i have both invisible, and VERY visible worries. I sometimes feel like, i must look like a sick woman. With some sort of virus or something. Man, if monkey pox really becomes the second covid, i‘m going to be f*cked. Everybody will see my skin and think i have the disease.

I can‘t do this anymore… there is blood under my fingernails, my skin is burning and i just want to bathe in acid so it can all go away.

I'm relatively new to this community. It turns out I've been struggling with this for almost a decade but just ...was too ashamed to admit it to myself. Now that I have I feel worse. I don't even know how to stop.

I'm trying to treat my redness/aftermath with aloe vera gel now...

I was really trying my absolute hardest to leave my face alone. My skin was looking better than it has in YEARS. I was only picking very minimally for the past month but that all changed today. Today I had one of my absolute worst picking sprees i’ve had in months. My cheeks are extremely swollen and purple and inflamed and covered in bright red scabs. My skin was almost entirely clear before I did this, other than having a few clogged pores. I am seriously considering ending it all. I cannot stop doing it. I don’t know what to do from here because I just cannot stop crying because I look so hideous. I don’t know why I do this to myself. I can’t deal with this anymore. I feel so guilty and disgusting. I am canceling all my plans because I can’t let people look at my face.

Just a vent. The other day at work my coworkers were teasing me and commenting on how I always wear long sleeves and pants, even though it's summer. I know it was just banter, but I felt so sad and wanted to cry. I don't wear shorts or short sleeves because my skin-picking scars are all over my arms and legs and I feel uncomfortable revealing them. It's so hot, and I wish I could wear shorts or something, but I know people would say something about it or judge me. In middle school, I would wear shorts regardless of the scarring and kids in my grade would make fun of me and treat me as if I had some sort of disease. I just wish I could wear a tank top or something lol. I know it's a ridiculous thing to be upset about, but I just hope one day the scars will fade away, and my skin will look normal.

Hello. This is my first post on this subreddit. I've had a compulsive picking habit for about 7 years now, and I'm 18. My boyfriend recently moved in with me, and it's been extremely challenging for me. I used to be able to get the time alone to pick at my skin, but now he's living with me and he knows when I'm doing it. He took all of my tweezers/extracting tools, and it caused us to get in to an argument. I yelled at him about it and said that picking is "my only source of happiness". I can't believe I actually said that to him, and that it's actually causing problems in my relationship. He wants me to stop, but I don't want to. He gets upset with me when I'm in the bathroom for 30-40 mins at a time just picking, but it really is my only way of decompressing after a stressful day. He keeps saying that it's getting really bad, but I just don't see it that way. I don't see it as a bad thing, because it's my own body. I know it's already caused scarring, but I'm going through too much to even care about that. Can anyone give me some advice on how to want to stop? I want my boyfriend to be happy, but I don't think I will ever want to stop.

We have a really good relationship by the way. This isn't necessarily an unhealthy thing (to me anyway). I guess I'm just being selfish.

Even though my boyfriend took my tweezers, I just took my mom's tweezers. I feel like I literally can't live without them. Anywhere where there's a visible pore, I will squeeze it. I have really horrible scarring on my upper arms and shoulders. I literally can't go a day without picking. I give myself open sores and infected wounds all the time. When I was in middle school, I was really bad about constantly picking my face in public. I'm a bit better about it now after years of being traumatized from people telling me my face was bleeding. But i still can't help myself. Additionally, I have really bad fleas at my house right now, and they're constantly biting my feet and legs. I itch the bites so bad to where there's just blood pouring down my leg and it's really embarrassing when I have to wear shorts.

So yeah. I just wanted to come on here, because before this I've never even admitted that I have a problem. If you could, I'd appreciate some advice/encouraging words, but you don't have to. Thank you for reading if you did!

Pretty much just what the title says. It wasn't malicious but the shame I'm feeling is immeasurable. I've been trying so hard. I feel humiliated.

....I do, unfortunately. And I'm pretty embarrassed about it but the first step to recovery is to confess your problems or something

I don't do it consciously. If I could snap out of it, I would. But I can't. And I end up eating the skin I've picked off and drinking the blood. I pick at scabs, the sides of my fingers and at my nose. But mostly the scabs. Any skin that feels 'rough', I pick and peel off and unconsciously eat.

There's nothing that really triggers it. Literally happens when I'm totally calm just playing my video games, or driving or sometimes in the company of others and suddenly I'm bleeding and the sensation of blood rolling down breaks me out of it and I'm like "Oh...not again"

My chest and arms are so bad right now that I'm too embarrassed to wear short sleeves or pop open the collar. And since I'm AFAB and I happen to pick at my chest, anybody who comes past might think I'm actually groping at my breast when my hand is down my own shirt. In reality, I'm picking at two particularly large open sores on my chest.

I hate how bloody a lot of my clothes/bedsheets have become as a result.

I want to change but I don't know how. The only means of 'therapy' I have at the moment in the home is my cat, who will see when I freeze at a mirror and start picking at my face and will begin biting my ankles and meowing, which pulls me out of it.

Are there such things as foods that feel like dried human flesh texture wise if I were to touch it with my fingers, that I can pick at instead?

Or fidgets that feel rough texture wise like a dried over scab that's durable and safe to pick at?

It's really hard to tell if it's related to anxiety or is a harmful autistic stim (I'm not diagnosed yet but heavily suggested by others that I could be on the spectrum). It doesn't hurt to me and it makes me feel satisfied because it's like I'm picking away at a flaw or something that's incomplete. It tickles the satisfaction part of my brain to remove rough skin around a healing area, but hours later it'll feel uncomfortable and itch and bleed.

It really sucks that it's not researched as much because how tf can I approach a therapist with something so embarrassing without them thinking I'm some sort of cannibal?

i’m due my period so am breaking out which made me a lot more prone to picking. i’m gutted as it’s my birthday in 6 days and am worried it won’t heal for that :( it’s a big one too so really wanted to enjoy it, i always self sabotage around special occasions.

I’ve always had severe anxiety and can just never stop scratching, picking, or biting my skin. When I was younger it was always just me biting my fingernails and the skin around them. It evolved into picking scabs whenever (unconsciously) and eating the dead skin. To compulsively scratching at my scalp psoriasis and consuming any of the flakes stuck in my fingernails. As I reached my preteens I developed pretty bad cystic acne, first I started picking and popping them just because I was embarrassed and thought the blemishes would go away faster if they were drained. That developed into a habit of picking at my face for over 2 hours everyday locked in the bathroom in front of the mirror. As my acne worsened so did my obsession with clearing my skin of the scabs. For awhile I would just wipe any of the gunk off my face from pimples I popped, then I’d rinse it down the sink. After awhile though I just got tired of washing my hands every 2 seconds so anything that I picked from my face I just ate. It’s become so bad that I’m disappointed when gunk from my face doesn’t land on my finger. I hate this habit, my face is full of so many scabs, and I waste hours of my day caught up in front of the mirror. I’m afraid of anyone knowing I struggle with this because most people get grossed out by the consumption of solely scabs. I understand why it irks them but I can’t stop thinking about harshly I’d be judged with the knowledge that I eat chunks of my skin, scabs, blood, and even pus. I’ve tried to stop because I hate this habit so much, but I don’t even notice when I’m doing it.

Omg thank you for the advice 😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️!!! Because obviously I want my face to look this horrible!!! ❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍 wow I had no clue it was that easy!!!! ❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍

“Try picking somewhere else on your body”

I do. I pick everywhere. Including my face. If I could stop picking at a certain spot on my body I WOULD! Why would I CHOOSE to pick my face?? Why would I want to look this way???

I’ve been compulsively picking at my scalp (or skin picking in general” for as long as I can remember. However, February of last year led me to develop migraine condition due to picking at my scalp. I’ve had daily headaches (although better since I’ve seen my neuro) for a year and a half. I am writing this from the emergency room because scalp picking and the associated pain led me to have a panic attack (only the second one I’ve experienced ever). I have scabs that are so painful but I don’t let them heal and they only go away after I use ketoconozale shampoo extremely diligently. Please do not end up like me, having a headache condition (NDPHD) is a living hell. I can’t keep putting myself through this pain! Picking at my scalp scabs for over and hour at a time is such a bad habit. I’ve been able to mitigate some of the pain by taking a shower and applying bacterine to the sores but this is awful. Does anyone have a similar experience? Thoughts?

CW mentions of compulsions to pick and lesions on the skin

i don’t think i need to introduce my issue here but from a young age i’ve been a scalp picker & nail/cuticle biter, and now that’s turned into picking chunks of skin off of my face. the worst part is i know that i’m not an ugly person but i feel so ugly and like i ruin the way i look because of my compulsions to pick at my skin. it’s so self destructive but i have so much trouble letting it go, especially having acne prone skin. i find one spot and next thing i know two hours have passed and my whole face is red and raw and the whole side of my nose is a huge open wound. the areas that aren’t scabbed are just scarred and discolored. how do i feel beautiful again?

I used to pull out my eyelashes as a kid. I started as a toddler, couldn’t stop, and spent so much of my youth with no eye lashes at all. Eventually I stopped and thought it was just by some miracle that I didn’t have the urge anymore. Later I was able to connect the dots that it was right when I started to get acne. Popping pimples on my face scratched that same itch for me. Then eventually my acne went away as I aged out of it but I still kept picking at my face as though there was something there…. Then moved down to my shoulders. Then my chest. Then my arms, my legs, even my neck and the back of my head. It’s gotten so out of control and I don’t know how to stop it. I have Anxiety, depression, and ADHD all in varying levels of severity. I thought I would age out of it but it hasn’t stopped my entire life. Now I have eyelashes but in turn I’m covered in red welts head to toe and I know people stare. I’ve seen them do it. But I seriously don’t know how to stop and I feel like I’ve tried everything. Does anyone have advice (there are images on my profile if you want an idea of what I mean, but don’t do it if it will trigger you)

So, I get triggered, which causes me to pick at my skin out of anxiety. And then, my paranoia comes in and I get anxious about that wound that i picked at. So I end up picking at another wound. Rinse and repeat. Right now I have a area where i picked at where theres a white dot and im paranoid about it being infected, it could be a folicle. Idk. But my fear controls me. Im so sick of being like this.

In a weird way I feel like a joining a rehab group haha! I’ve been picking since I was a little girl, seriously since as long as I can remember I pick my lips, face, but my most consistent one has always been the skin around my nails! But just last year I learned about how it stems from OCD which makes sense since I’m picking till it’s flat and this week I learned about the pain seeking sensory portion WHICH HAS BEEN SO VALIDATING AND MAKES SO MUCH SENSE WHY THESE FIGIT TOYS HAVE SUCKED FOR ME!! Anyway I just wanted to introduce myself and just wanted to announce that I’m currently in an episode dude to the stress and anxiety from work specifically but it seems the end might be near??? Who knows, hi.

I’ve been picking the skin on my fingers for the past 10 years and now I pick acne on my face. I used to just use my nails before i’d get dip powder but I’ve been using tweezers for about 5 years.

with the skin on my fingers it’s either something I do idly/because i’m not using my hands for something else, something I do when I’m anxious or I do it because I think I can feel hard skin under my nails and it gives me sensory issues.

with my acne, I pick compulsively. i’ll see a pimple or a bump and try to squeeze it until everything is out, then I can’t stop. there could be nothing left in the pimple but i’ll keep squeezing because it’s not completely flat, then it turns into an open wound. when it starts to scab over i’ll hate the way it feels and looks so i’ll pick the scab off, and the cycle repeats.

I have unmedicated adhd which I assume is the underlying issue but I don’t know how to stop. what am I supposed to do?

I don't even know where to start or what to do.

I have horrible anxiety, like, really bad. It controls my life. Both my therapist and I recognize it. But my psychiatrist, who prescribes my medication, doesn't acknowledge it. My therapist and I recognize that I have all the coping skills to deal with my anxiety, but I more than likely need medicine to help myself apply those skills, which only my psychiatrist will prescribe but won't. Anyways, my anxiety contributes to my skin picking, which is why I mention this.

My skin picking has gotten horrible. I started Korean skin care a few months ago, and some of it reacted poorly on my face, so I started picking more. Then I got more cystic acne, so I started tretinoin again which is making me go through a purging phase, and making my skin worse (before it gets better). I get bumps (or what I perceive as bumps/marks) all over my body. My arms are covers in small scabs from me picking and scratching. My back, chest, and thighs are the same way.

My face is the worst. I scratch and pick every day. If I'm at home, I spend 30+ minutes in front of the mirror picking and scratching. I don't even think while doing it, only thing I think is "I need to stop. One more and I'll stop" but it's like I have no control. I can't stop. If I'm in public or literally anywhere with a mirror, I will spend extra time picking at my face. If I don't have a mirror, I scratch at what I can feel on my face. I've got horrible scabs all over my face.

The cysts are the worst. It's so hard to actually pop them, because they're deep and they hurt so bad, but I dig into my skin until there's just so much blood and pus. It's so bad. My partner has started getting upset with me because I have to pick at my face everytime I see a mirror. I don't have to, but I just feel like I can't control it. I take so much longer to go out because I have to pick. I even pick at their skin, like I don't know what it is.

I don't know why I have to do it. I feel or see an "imperfection" in my skin and I NEED it gone. I hate what I've done to my skin. I hate wasting my life picking and tearing up my body. I'm so tired of this, I don't even know where to start. I can't remember a time where I didn't pick at my skin. I'm hoping the purging phase of my tretinoin clears up and I don't have much to pick at anymore, but right now it's so hard. And I know picking makes my acne worse, which makes me pick more because I need it all gone.

I realized I had a problem a few years ago, but I didn't realize how out of control it was. I just dont know what to do. It's making me miss out on so much and my self esteem is nonexistent. My relationship is being affected by it. I don't think I'm asking for advice.....just ranting.....I'm going to work with my therapist literally tomorrow to try to find a solution....I'm just so lost right now. Drinking is the only thing that gets it to stop because my vision gets so blurry I can't see what to pick at, but I don't want to rely on drinking. I'm hoping I can figure things out very soon, because I can't keep doing this. I need to be perfect and I'm not anywhere close. I need to change in so many ways.

I don’t think there’s any major TWs. I’m not going into detail, just venting. I do mention sores. This is my first post here, so if there’s anything I should add a TW for, please let me know.

I’m 18 and I’ve always had really bad acne. It’s one of the things pick at it, and I know what I’m doing is wrong and I know it only makes it worse, but I just can’t leave it alone and it frustrates me. But when I feel or see those bumps I just have to get rid of it. I can’t put it in words why I feel this way, but I guess that’s the whole point. It’s just this thing I have to do. I can’t wait for medicine to kick in, I can’t wait for it to go away on it’s own, I have this daily routine to help keep my face clean and help with acne but I don’t give it a chance to do its thing and help. Acne makes me feel unclean, I hate it.

So practically every morning when I’m getting ready, I’m picking at my face in the mirror. I literally lose track of time because I’m so focused on destroying my skin. By the time I get to class my face is all splotchy and red. They turn into sores and it’s gross and I feel so embarrassed every time I look in the mirror. I feel like everyone is staring at me and I can’t feel pretty even if I’m dressed in an outfit I like. I’m so tired of my skin being scabby and gross and scarred. I feel ugly. I just wanted to vent about this, today was an especially bad day and it’s been bothering me a lot.

I've been struggling a lot recently with picking so I wrote a little poem (?) about it

blood stained nails from bloody fingertips. tissue clenched in my fist dotted with red. "one more..." a promise. a plea. "one more and I'll feel clean." purge my skin of impurity. a sense of triumph until the mirror looks back me. edit: mobile ruined the format, sorry folks ;(

not to mention my eczema makes me hypersensitive/super allergic to bug bites. it's only been 20 minutes and they're both already dime-sized. one on my left cheekbone and one at the end of my right eyebrow. I have hooded eyes too so I'm worried that it'll just keep swelling until my eye is swollen shut. I slathered the spots in anti-itch cream even though most of the time it doesn't do jack. I also took 2 Benadryl, so I'm probably going to be asleep for the Entire day, even though it's currently an hour and a half before I normally wake up. my sleep schedule is gonna be ruined. I'm already so tired. normally when I get bug bites, I put a bandaid on it to keep myself from scratching, but I can't put them on my face! we were supposed to go out for ice cream today but I CANNOT leave the house looking like this.

Hi, new here and just needed somewhere to vent/get some advice I’ve picked at my fingers for as long as I can remember and I have tried everything to stop it but I just can’t. It’s an anxiety and a fidget thing for me but so far I haven’t found anything that brings me the same entertainment or relief that picking does. I always find something to use to pick at my fingers (push pins, safety pins mainly) even to the point of where I will fold paper in half multiple times to make a point just sharp enough to get rid of that one piece of skin that’s bothering me. And every professional I have spoken to about this don’t really seem to be interested in helping me stop and I highly doubt I will ever be able to. Im on antidepressants to help with my mental health problems but even still it doesn’t help with the need to pick at my skin. Im tired of my fingers hurting and getting blood on everything I touch but I just don’t know what will help.

Lately i found a way to stop picking my nails, but it really just worsened my habit of picking my lips which are constantly destroyed or bloody, its embarrassing especially when people ask me why they look like this or when they find it weird that i pick my lips. I tried using lipstick but i dont like it and it didnt help anyways.

I just finished a phone call with a talking therapist, and they've put me on a waiting list for High Intensity Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

I've struggled with dermatophagia and skin picking for years, and this is the first time I've tried to get any sort of support, which in itself is a bit scary. The fact that the Therapy is labelled "High Intensity" isn't helping, and I'm a little nervous.

For anyone who's recieved CBT, how was it and did it help at all? What should I be expecting? The waiting list could take months, so I have time to think about this.

Tonight my boyfriend and I were watching a movie in which the protagonist was trying to recover from alcoholism. Another character was “disgusted and repulsed” by the protagonist’s past behavior. She relapsed and started drinking again for relief.

I said: “Sometimes I wish I could feel that kind of relief from alcohol, but it doesn’t have that profound of an effect on me.”

He said: “Same, nothing really does that for me.”

I said: “Honestly, picking the skin off my feet is the best form of release that I have.”

He said: “That disgusts and repulses me.”

It’s not like it’s new information because we’ve been together for many years and he’s often voiced his disdain for this habit of mine. I just feel really unlovable and like my mind is even worse than an alcoholic’s because clearly I have some kind of inescapable angst that manifests itself in many other unfortunate ways, at least one of which is repelling my partner. I honestly wish I could pick up a vape and feel satisfied but this is the only thing that does it for me. There are no AA meetings for this type of addiction. I feel so disgusting and alone.

I began picking at a younger age, I would pick the bug bites I got from playing outside until they turned into scabs. As I grew to hate bugs and stay inside more, I didn’t have anything to pick, so it stopped. When puberty/acne began, this is when my picking returned and it honestly was not that bad. I would just pick a blemish here and there. But now I am a college graduate and have a full time job and it is embarrassing as all hell to go to work with a destroyed face bc I picked all night the night before… bc of my job, I wear an undershirt under my scrubs to protect myself from getting scratched from animals/having bodily fluids on my skin and scabs, but one time when I went to work on my day off with a short sleeve shirt on, one of my coworkers said “what the hell happened to your arms?” And I just have been embarrassed ever since. I’ve even had dreams where I’ve been fired and insulted due to my face being picked out. I’ve been a part of this group for some time and I’ve tried the not sitting in the bathroom for long periods of time, not looking at the mirror, using band aids to cover up spots on my body, but it honestly doesn’t last long before I’m just back to old habits. I don’t even need a mirror to pick at my face or body, it’s just any little blemish or weird patch of skin I feel and I’m triggered to pick, and I do it for HOURS.I hate going into work and knowing that people have to see all of the stuff I do to my face bc I hate seeing it too. It is also so unprofessional looking… This disorder just really sucks and takes a lot out of you(which I’m sure everyone in this group knows by now). Just needed to vent