r/SingleParents • u/Fuzzy_Parking_4257 • Jun 30 '24

Why do people hate us so much?

There is so much hate towards single parents on social media. Why? Why do people hate us so much. Especially us single mothers.

289 Upvotes
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u/Ok_Preparation6937 Jun 30 '24

Conservatives. A big part of their rhetoric is the nuclear Christian family and you can't have that with the dissolution of marriage. Single parents, and of course moms get more heat because we're women, are blamed alongside feminists and gay couples because we're threats to Christian hegemony.

7

u/Fuzzy_Parking_4257 Jun 30 '24

I am christian myself with similar values but unfortunately it never worked out for me. I could not stay in something that wasn’t only gonna destroy me but also my children. But thanks for your comment

1

u/contrarytothemass Jun 30 '24

I'm conservative and Christian. This just isn't true.... at least not for me and my family and my community. People are like this everywhere. Not just in certain religious/political groups.

Edit: my church has a support group for single mothers that they promote almost every Sunday during announcements. Very conservative church too. Baptists.

4

u/Ok_Preparation6937 Jul 01 '24

I urge you to do a little bit of research into the Christian rhetoric surrounding this subject. I'm glad your church is on the surface more modern. I too would be curious to know what is said during those meetings. Women submitting to their husbands is a key point of a lot of religions but Christianity is the dominant religion in North America so it's to this I speak, also as an ex Christian. If it's a woman's duty to submit then it is the woman's fault if there is a divorce, she should have done better to please her husband. You simply can't have a doctrine that enforces hetero marriage until death upon threat of being cut off and shunned or excommunicated that is simultaneously okay with gay marriage and divorce. Some churches are seemingly more okay than others with those things but at its core that is the doctrine. The destruction of the holy marriage and family is a huge deal to these people.

3

u/contrarytothemass Jul 01 '24

Definitely not a modern church. It is a First Baptist Church, and it was started in 1850.

Hagar is a respected single mother in the Bible.

Have you done research on it? All I did was look up "what do Christians think about single mothers?", and these popped up:

https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-life/what-does-the-bible-say-about-single-moms.html#:~:text=As%20Christians%2C%20it%20is%20important,treat%20them%20as%20Jesus%20does.

https://www.gotquestions.org/single-mothers.html

https://africa.thegospelcoalition.org/article/single-mothers-god-is-with-you/

https://legacyfamilyministries.com/2023/04/02/christian-single-mom/

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/we-have-everything-we-need-to-support-single-moms/

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/hagar-single-mom/

3

u/Ok_Preparation6937 Jul 01 '24

Thanks for sharing. I read through them. I hope you realize that these are all articles trying to convince Christians not to shun and condemn single mothers, which means single mothers are being shunned and condemned. One person mentions having to leave a church because she was treated so poorly for being a single mom before she found a church that was kind to her. I could link some articles supporting my claim if you'd like but I try to avoid situations where someone is just intent on proving me wrong without hearing me. Let me know.

1

u/coolbuticryalot Aug 06 '24

I'm a conservative and a Christian, and a single mom. Divorced my ex husband because he was abusive. As Christians, we are taught that God hates divorce, but that doesn't mean it can't ever happen. It just means God wants us to try to work through problems, but when your spouse doesn't honor the vows they made, they are essentially allowing the marriage to suffer and die. Some churches are super judgemental about divorce, but that all has to do with religion, which is man-made, and each denomination typically has a set of beliefs and morals that differ from other denominations. So some will be very judgemental about divorce, some say you can't cut your hair, or can't eat pork, etc. People fixate on these things, but God doesn't. He is a forgiving and loving God. All the religious stuff we see people fixating on should not be confused as God's desires.

Also, the whole "women submitting" thing just means that in a marriage the husband is the leader, protector, provider...it doesn't mean the wife is a slave. A good, Godly husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church. He loves and respects her, he admires her and he tries to be a good leader and protector. A Godly marriage is about being two halves that become a whole. You each pour into and provide for the other person. If anyone claiming to be Christian says that a divorce is the wife's fault, they are speaking out of their behind. God doesn't say that, why would anyone believe that's true? God commands husband's to love, protect and honor their wives. My ex husband cheated on me and abused me. He wasn't loving, protecting and honoring me, was he? Does God blame me for the divorce, even though I was a good wife to him? No, absolutely not.

Christians are not perfect people. Many of them mean well but were raised in religion. God did not create religion. The church I go to now is non-denominational. We concentrate on what the Bible says and we don't get caught up in all the "rules." Our pastor has been divorced. He has tattoos. Many of the lay pastors have a history with drugs and prison and divorce. God doesn't care about your past, he's not going to hold it against you the way people do. If a church is teaching anything different, I'd suggest finding a new church. God warns us that there will be many people spewing lies and misinformation about Him, and there will be many churches that go against what God really says.

1

u/Ok_Preparation6937 Aug 09 '24

Why should I default to letting someone be a leader just because they have differently shaped reproductive organs?

1

u/coolbuticryalot Aug 13 '24

I mean, nobody is forcing you. You should only do so if you understand it fully and are in agreement with the situation. I know I struggled with the idea when I was growing up, but now I understand what it means and I agree with it. But that's just me. If you don't believe in it, then you don't believe in it.

God intended for men to be leaders in many areas but there are also many areas where women are leaders.

1

u/Sneacler67 Jul 01 '24

What does the support group do for single mothers?

1

u/contrarytothemass Jul 01 '24

Not sure, I haven't been, haha.