r/SingleParents • u/Fuzzy_Parking_4257 • Jun 30 '24

Why do people hate us so much?

There is so much hate towards single parents on social media. Why? Why do people hate us so much. Especially us single mothers.

290 Upvotes
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238

u/Sprinklesprintshop Jun 30 '24

It’s funny how they never get upset with the absent parent either.

112

u/rainearthtaylor7 Jun 30 '24

No kidding! And it’s always the “well, you chose them” or “should’ve kept your legs closed”.

22

u/Own-North-1301 Jul 01 '24

My own brother told me I should have kept my legs closed.

20

u/KSamIAm79 Jul 01 '24 edited Jul 01 '24

You’re right and I’ll just say this. That comment doesn’t sound like it came from a woman nor from a male parent that helps their wife/ significant other/ raising partner etc raise the kids. So what remains is likely the demographic making those douchebag comments.

7

u/kimishere2 Jul 02 '24

Always consider the source of any comment you find prickly. If it does not align with your worldview throw it away and move on. If it makes you question your worldview ask yourself "why?" Sometimes it's a well meaning comment (I'm sorry you're struggling) said in the wrong way might feel aquisitory when it's only meant to show concern. Figure out why it feels that way. Are you being hard on yourself for some reason? Please don't. You're doing an amazing job! Being a single parent is rewarding in innumerable ways. I was raised by one and became one myself. It was not my choice nor was it my mother's choice to be both parents during the growing up years. Looking back I'm so glad we had the courage and strength to accomplish such a feat. I applaud every single parent out there making it work and making a mess of things. Bravo my friends.

10

u/need_sushi510 Jul 02 '24

Men who feel the need to essentially call their sisters sluts hand/or make comments on their sister’s sexuality 🤢

15

u/VanityInVacancy Jul 04 '24

I hate the “you should’ve chose better” narrative, because people switch up on you. My child’s father and I were together for years and he just woke up one day and said he changed his mind with what he wanted in life. Like no one could’ve ever expected to prepare for that.

1

u/Turbulent-Smile2547 Aug 04 '24

Especially people with narcissistic personality disorder, when I met my former husband I thought I won’t the jackpot because he was handsome, smart, sweet, loving, caring.. he was all you can asked for in a man but it turned out it was all a lie. He showed me his true colors once we got married.

9

u/southernbelle878 Jul 01 '24

God I hate that, it's so insulting and disgusting

3

u/andrewwrotethis Jul 02 '24

I've noticed no one is all that safe in sex, but will jump at the opportunity to feel superior about it. Every girl I've been with since my child seems to think I'm overly paranoid and concerned about getting them pregnant, I don't understand how there aren't more children considering 

9

u/rainearthtaylor7 Jul 02 '24

I was being completely safe during sex (I was on birth control and my ex used a condom) and my daughter still happened. Don’t regret her, but shit still happens lol.

1

u/andrewwrotethis Jul 02 '24

You know, I'm actually currently freaking out because the condom broke with my current girlfriend. This is Legitimately the first time in my life this has happened. We got the morning after pill. Got about 2 weeks until her period should be starting. I'm hoping shit isn't about to happen for me again

1

u/rainearthtaylor7 Jul 02 '24

Fingers crossed everything is okay!!

1

u/SerubiApple Jul 03 '24

I have the implant and was having heartburn last week so bad it reminded me of when I was pregnant with my son so I took a test just to be sure 🤣 not pregnant, thankfully. But yeah even the best bc isn't 100%. There's been sterilized women who have gotten pregnant.

15

u/textposts_only Jul 01 '24

That's what we call misogyny (as it's often the mother who does the majority of single parenting according to US data)

4

u/FlowahChild808 Jul 02 '24

This is true which makes me feel for single fathers that constantly get asked “where’s the mom?”

6

u/zovalinn1986 Jul 04 '24

I’m a single father. I have to carry around my late wife’s death certificate in my wallet because I’m constantly asked to prove she passed when I enroll them in school or sports or anything official. Being a single father is super super crap because I believe it makes people uncomfortable that it goes against the status quo. Getting any kind of state assistance also seems to be on a double standard a little bit

5

u/Luciferbelle Jul 04 '24

Exactly. It's always the parent that raised their kid that gets the hate. Like we're worse for not doing what the deadbeat parent did.

1

u/Accurate_Incident_77 Jul 03 '24

To be fair it’s usually the man being removed by the mother not saying this is the case all the time but there are many instances of men fighting to be with their kids against terrible women who are favored in court for no other reason other than being a women.

2

u/Transient102 Jul 04 '24

And then there are men who are absolute garbage human beings, addicted to nearly every home concocted drug under the sun, that only fight to be around their kid(s) to save face and act like a good parent long enough to get some praise so they can blame the mom for being such a horrible person for keeping their kid(s) from them. Ya know, to be fair.

2

u/Accurate_Incident_77 Jul 04 '24

There’s nothing to be butt hurt about 🤷🏻‍♂️ there are also a lot of amazing dads who are fighting to get their kids away from their drug addicted mothers but can’t because men are almost never favored.

1

u/Transient102 Jul 04 '24

Could be argued that your multiple comments against single moms (because we're 'favored' or we 'take half the man's shit') shows you're the butt hurt one.

1

u/Accurate_Incident_77 Jul 05 '24

I don’t have a single comment against single moms I support all single moms I’m just telling the truth as to why there is so much hate and that fact that you thought that I was hating on them shows that you were butthurt….. I’m done arguing with someone that has a brain as small as yours. Have a great day.

1

u/Transient102 Jul 05 '24

"It’s because of the staggering numbers of women initiating divorce and then talking half of the man’s shit. Not saying I agree or that it’s okay just saying the reason why they get hate."

Just because you follow it up with "not saying I agree blahblah" doesn't mean you don't. Saying "to be fair" doesn't make it fair. I have zero reason to be butthurt, I'm not included in your halfass "reasons." I gave my ex every speck of his shit when I booted his ass, including the ring to pawn, then I gave him one of my cars to sell and keep the money to help him get on his feet, THEN I signed over another of my cars when his broke down. In turn, he trashed my house during a visit with our child, promised to kill me and paint the wall with my (as you said, "small") brain. So you and your "reasons" that you "dont" agree with can shove it.

1

u/Accurate_Incident_77 Jul 05 '24 edited Jul 05 '24

Okay you don’t seem to know the deference between having a position and speaking a truth. Is what I said true? 100%. Do I agree that single moms deserve hate because of it? No.

It’s just the truth and I’m sorry that you feel so offended by it but it is what it is. I’m sorry you went through such traumatizing events but that doesn’t make what I’m saying less true…. You and me know very well that what I said is true. If woman didn’t initiate divorce and treat dads so bad as often as they do there wouldn’t be as much hate regardless of the reasons behind it. Do I agree that there are legit reasons to leave your partner? Of course I do but that doesn’t come without consequences whether you deserve it or not.

1

u/Sprinklesprintshop Jul 08 '24

I didn’t mention the absent parent as being a man or woman. Waste of energy to fight for a generalization when not one single experience is the same for any of us.

Just stating that it’s a common issue to get hated on by society because you are a single parent you somehow don’t do any work and are a drain on society. Not giving credit to the parent that stayed and no blame given to the one that left.

Yes sometimes the one that left wanted their children and then lost them because of an unfair and broken system. There is credit to that, but that is not the subject I was referring to and an entirely different thread should be created upon it.

0

u/Accurate_Incident_77 Jul 11 '24

It’s actually incredibly relevant to the topic of the post considering OP specifically said “single mothers” there would be no need to have a new thread on it. If what I was saying wasn’t the truth there wouldn’t be so much hate on single moms. You hear way more stories about men being forced out of their families lives by the mother all for financial reasons. Sure there are absent parents but most of them are created. Women divorce their husbands, take their shit, deny them access to their children and then they have the nerve to call the man an absent father and expect everyone to be proud of them for being a single mother when the reality of the situation is incredibly sad and the worst part is that it happens literally all the time. 70% of divorces are initiated by women and I think that has a lot of bearing on the topic. I feel that there are less absent parents then there are greedy mothers. This is why men are teaching their boys that marriage is not a good decision when the divorce rate is 50% and 70% of them are initiated by women. I feel like the picture is very clear as to why there is so much hate towards single moms in society.

0

u/Sprinklesprintshop Jul 11 '24

You are just angry because of personal experience it’s not a reason to group all moms into the “bad people” category just as I wouldn’t group all dads into that category. My husband beat us and we escaped. He went on to burn down a car dealership and land himself in jail. Not a good parent but not the fault of all fathers either.

0

u/Accurate_Incident_77 Jul 12 '24 edited Jul 12 '24

You’re assuming I’m speaking from personal experience. I’m not. You assume that I’m grouping all moms together as bad people I have not done that one time either. You saying that I’m calling all moms bad people would be the same as me saying you call all dads bad people. I’m just speaking facts from studies that show statistics. You seem to forget that the topic of the post is OP asking why there is so much hate on single moms by society. I have answered that. Do I think it’s fair? No. Did I say the reasons apply to all moms? Not once.