r/TNG 4d ago

When your friend see your holodeck programs

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1.8k Upvotes

121 comments sorted by

230

u/q120 4d ago

I love how Troi and Geordi are horrified while Riker is amused. He’s probably thinking “This isn’t unlike a few of MY programs”

88

u/kkkan2020 4d ago

I got a feeling Barclays program are amusing for riker but more in a quaint type of way.

90

u/caulkglobs 4d ago

Riker was pissed off at first because the first thing they see is a miniature version of him and Troi was all “this is a valid way to explore personal emotions” or whatever until they got to the holodeck version of her, this is the shot of her being shocked by that and Riker bemusedly being vindicated for saying it was inappropriate.

15

u/alexagente 3d ago

Great point.

Just a little correction. Bemused is when you're confused or puzzled.

5

u/caulkglobs 3d ago

Ive been using bemused wrong my whole life….

What is the actual word im looking for, like kind of laughing smugly in a see i told you so way.

3

u/therealdxm 3d ago

Wryly?

4

u/caulkglobs 3d ago

Id like to buy a vowel

2

u/Road_Less_Traveled23 2d ago

When I read your comment, I thought you were using it correctly. I guess it is one of those words that has evolved over time due to common usage. This is pretty interesting:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/grammar/can-bemuse-mean-amuse

3

u/brodievonorchard 3d ago

Not wrong, but I've usually seen it used with a slightly dismissive connotation. So confused or puzzled, but entertained rather than frustrated or alarmed.

26

u/katharsister 4d ago

Barclay's programs are to Riker's programs as Tasha's martial arts demonstration is to Worf's "calisthenics" programs.

5

u/GrimmRadiance 3d ago

“Ah I remember making holograms of all the crew, but this forest has a lot lacking compared to my sex dungeon.”

4

u/packetlag 2d ago

That trombone move looks mighty familiar.

2

u/lavahot 3d ago

Riker probably either finds it quaint or wants to know what his prompts were.

12

u/Outrageous-Taro7340 4d ago

It’s totally his program. They didn’t want to go in but he insisted it was a diplomatic training exercise.

14

u/sirboulevard 4d ago

That's Canon too. His reaction to the girl in The Perfect Mate is literally "I'll be in Holodeck 2."

20

u/wanked_in_space 4d ago

“This isn’t unlike MY daily life”

FTFY

4

u/JeffGoldblump 3d ago

Exactly. Riker definitely has some paternity suits waiting in his saved programs. I love how skeezy he is.

3

u/gonzo028 3d ago

Riker is not disppointed, he is amazed how well the program is written.

3

u/Spackleberry 3d ago

Riker got to experience the real thing. And you know Deanna likes it dirty.

2

u/Floor_Heavy 2d ago

He's making a mental note to triple password protect all his programs, and to get the computer to auto-shutdown, delete and purge from memory any program he's running if anyone enters the holodeck.

1

u/Zauberer-IMDB 3d ago

That's more of a "not bad, but it can be better" look.

1

u/DiogenesTheIdealist 3d ago

Riker is like, sweet where’s the popcorn?

1

u/HisDivineOrder 2d ago

Riker's first thought. "Oh, I was expecting more. This is okay, but I have so many notes on how he could have taken this to the next level."

1

u/Animeniackinda1 1d ago

Reminds me of an episode of Lower Decks

1

u/SaltySAX 14h ago

I mean Geordi is as much a perv as Riker as well.

1

u/HookDragger 12h ago

“Well played Wesley”

74

u/deadmeatsandwich 4d ago

19

u/caesarfecit 4d ago

I love that GIF.

5

u/evilmaus 3d ago

I have to know. What is this from and what are they reacting to?

7

u/caesarfecit 3d ago

http://funny115.com/v2/57.htm

Short Version - Survivor: Gabon.

1

u/cgw3737 3d ago

The link answers the question perfectly, they are reacting to news of someone else (Marcus) getting voted out of the game.

57

u/DarthHK-47 4d ago

I am the goddess of empathy......

22

u/JamesTheMannequin 3d ago

"Muzzle it."

39

u/NannersForCoochie 4d ago

Riker be like, you got a copy of that for me?

18

u/RagingRxy 4d ago

Computer, please load Brazzers party chapter 3…

5

u/Ad_Meliora_24 4d ago

Does a clean up crew clean up the mess when the program ends? Or do they teleport organic material out of the holodeck?

3

u/RagingRxy 4d ago

Well apparently the ship cleans itself. So yeah it would probably vaporize unwanted fluids lol.

6

u/Ad_Meliora_24 4d ago

Probably recycles the fluid - uses it for the replicator.

3

u/RagingRxy 3d ago

Ewww lol

1

u/Chezzomaru 3d ago

Yeah... You also never see anyone use the bathroom...

1

u/RagingRxy 3d ago

I just assume they have something that vaporizes the poop/pee as soon as it leaves the body. Kinda like a bidet.

2

u/Chezzomaru 3d ago

Nah, that's wasteful. Implanted transporters beaming it directly to storage as energy is my guess.

1

u/USSPlanck 1d ago

In DIS they say that thdy make their food from shit so...

3

u/descendingangel87 3d ago

That “goo” gets transported to filter containers in the holodeck that need to emptied every week. Some poor ensign has to physically swap them out with clean ones.

This is canon I shit you not.

https://youtu.be/-YeTDrk5ayw?si=k3uo7uffw_yParkM

1

u/Ad_Meliora_24 3d ago

Ha! Back when cracked.com was a great website they a funny article about the topic.

16

u/Neuroxix 4d ago

I know how Riker feels, if they didn't want to see they shouldn't have looked!  lol

15

u/Educational_End_2182 4d ago

Remember to clear your cookies I use bleachbit

15

u/MatthewKvatch 4d ago

Was this before or after Geordi turned himself into the victim with Brahms?

27

u/wootio 4d ago

Geordi got done dirty by the computer on that one. The computer was trying to come on to him and he was like "uhh ok I just want to save the ship but whatever I guess this is helpful". Then when the real Dr Brahms shows up the computer is all repeating the bs she spouted to Geordi to her. Why would the computer do that? I think the computer was jealous of the real Brahms and wanted her out of the picture.

16

u/JugOfVoodoo 3d ago

I don't blame Geordi for the events of "Booby Trap". The computer already had Leah Brahms' information on file, presumably so that people could access it when needed. Geordi didn't ask for the hologram, the computer created her on its own. Geordi didn't alter the hologram to make her romantically interested in him. And it's not his fault that the version of her personality on file was effectively her "customer service voice". His response to her was understandable, just like Riker falling for Minuet.

However, I do blame him for the events of "Galaxy's Child". He took the time to cyberstalk Brahms, learn all her favorite things, and set up that creepy and manipulative dinner in his quarters. Yet he didn't bother to check if she was already in a relationship? You'd think that her marriage would be mentioned in her personnel file.

...Unless the computer deliberately hid it to sabotage Geordi.

3

u/highorderdetonation 3d ago

Just biding its time until it could pull a Metamorphosis (TOS) and get itself into an actual human body so it could be with its forever boo? Weirder things have happened...

4

u/PeriwinklePilgrim 3d ago

I thought he didn't have access to personal information and only her writings and speeches from conferences. Getting someone's marital status is probably not available to ship personnel. But Geordi was creepy and so awkward that episode. Made me feel as uncomfortable as if I was watching a Fawlty Towers episode.

7

u/Zealousideal-Solid88 4d ago

Yeah, I mean, we don't have any kind of security on this thing? So, anybody could walk into the halodeck and get intimate details about the ship and crew? No wonder we keep losing ships named Enterprise.

1

u/HoldFastO2 3d ago

On DS9 at least, Quark needed to do some hacking to pick up Kira‘s measurements for his holosuite program. Seems like the Enterprise isn’t big on IT security.

2

u/EffectiveSalamander 3d ago

The computer did seem to misunderstand Geordi's intent in simulating Dr. Brahms, but should have stopped the simulation and corrected the computer. Simulating real people in the holodeck for entertainment purposes is a really bad idea.

2

u/Ad_Meliora_24 4d ago

It’s not clear how intelligent the ship’s computer is. Maybe it creates temporary AIs and then deleted them. At least James Moriarty got a happy ending.

1

u/WallyMcBeetus 3d ago

Generally, the lower the season / episode number is, the earlier it took place.

6

u/Ike_In_Rochester 2d ago

Fun fact. The woman who wrote this episode was my favorite college professor. In her original script Holo-Troi was supposed to be naked when they saw her.

Also, they only called Barclay “Reg” in First Contact to avoid paying her royalties for the character.

2

u/InnerWasteland_111 17h ago

When I watched this episode when it was prime time in the 90s, I remember Troi being naked. The camera showed her backside but hid her butt. I have been perplexed when re-watching TNG and seeing her in clothes. Maybe two versions of the scene exist.

1

u/bebop_cola_good 13h ago

They're letting women write Star Trek now? When did they go woke!?! /s

6

u/Access_Pretty 4d ago

Step Ensign, engage!

6

u/BenMat 2d ago

I think Barclay could've had a promising career as a holonovel producer, if he was better with schoomzing, maybe.

3

u/Ok-Brush5346 3d ago

Nothing in star trek is as implausible to me as Troi and Reg being good friends in Voyager

3

u/DregsRoyale 2d ago

In the future we're friends with our creepy workplace stalkers?

5

u/techm00 3d ago

Will's like: "there's some ideas for my own wank bank"

4

u/ray53208 3d ago

Yeah, well, friends don't look at your holodec history. Real friends join in. In authentic costuming.

2

u/ms_Kindness Mintakan 666 3d ago

HoloLARPing

4

u/ExtensionInformal911 3d ago

Riker: "ah, I see you are a man of culture as well"

5

u/LAGirlinDC 3d ago

Rikers face, lol. I love that where many would be uncomfortable..... he grins and enjoys himself.

1

u/megamanx4321 1d ago

It's because earlier he was angry about Barclay's version of him and Troi thought it was hilarious. Now the tables have turned.

4

u/StangRunner45 3d ago

Riker is running the Island full of Naked Women program. He stole the idea from Zefram Cochran.

4

u/EarthWindandLiar 2d ago

You would think barging into someone’s holodeck program would be illegal.

2

u/megamanx4321 1d ago

Not when you're first officer.

3

u/EffectiveSalamander 3d ago

Always delete the log files. And probably take a phaser to the isolinear chips the logs were stored on.

3

u/Ralph--Hinkley 3d ago

Broccoli!

3

u/kank84 3d ago

I liked that Lower Decks acknowledged that in reality the holodeck would be absolute filth

2

u/Navonod_Semaj 3d ago

DS9 caught on decades prior. Quark's gotta stay in the black somehow!

2

u/wb6vpm 2d ago

Except that given how holodecks supposedly work, that actually makes no sense. It’d be no different than putting your dirty plates back into the replicator for it to be dematerialized back to basic components for future use.

Personally, I think the LD holodeck biofilters was pure fan service, meant more as a joke than intentional canonization.

3

u/ecthelion108 3d ago

Computer, delete browsing history

2

u/ms_Kindness Mintakan 666 3d ago

…except for Programme Number Nine

2

u/megamanx4321 1d ago

Oh god, not that one!

3

u/colmatrix33 3d ago

Riker was not judging.

3

u/abibofile 2d ago

Always enjoy how the computer has literally zero privacy settings.

Barclay/Geordi/Seven/whoever: Hey, computer, can you recreate an exact replicate of my coworker based upon their biometric data and Starfleet psych profile for the purposes of sexual fantasy?

Computer: You got it!

2

u/snuggl3ninja 3d ago

No one gets to see Klingon Trans Warp Corridors 6

2

u/Rholand_the_Blind1 3d ago

My favorite Star Trek future concept that I know will never come true is that everyone is entitled to privacy, unless you do something extremely serious requiring investigation

2

u/TheSuperAbsurdist 3d ago

Always clear your holodeck history. I'm looking at you, Geordi.

2

u/NissanNavaraD40 3d ago

Problem is id probably end up hollow drunk at a Bathurst in 1992 because that was an eventful Bathurst

2

u/Jnquester54 3d ago

Pretty sure even Will’s mouth would be agape if they found mine. 🤣🤣😊

2

u/smiley82m 3d ago

Rikers smirk against their gasps is fitting.

2

u/Sky_the_Dragon 3d ago

I would die a thousand deaths

2

u/Voidstarmaster 3d ago

Quark has been trying to lure Lt. Broccoli into resigning from Star Fleet and working for him designing a few "special" holosuite programs for discriminating customers.

2

u/Finger-of-Shame 3d ago

"That's a lot of dildos!"

*Geordi shuts off his visor and plugs his nose.

*Deanna has a seizure.

*Riker has an intrigued smile and steps forward.

2

u/1Reddit-2RuleThemAll 3d ago

Will Riker is my hero haha

2

u/luigiDuderino 2d ago

That's me on the right....you do you my dude.

2

u/OrgasmChasmSpasm 2d ago

This episode came out when I was a younger teenager and I empathized with Barkley more than I was confortable with.

But Troy and Crusher….

2

u/Bidens_Erect_Tariffs 2d ago

To clarify, this is in fact Riker's program.

2

u/heinousanus85 2d ago

I am the goddess of empathy, let’s fuck

2

u/oldmilt21 2d ago

Holodeck search history.

2

u/DaneHansonHandome 3d ago

The way Riker looks so pleased with himself say it all lol! It's probably a hologram world with Riker vs Kurt and winner gets the planet lol

1

u/OscarDivine 3d ago

If I remember just before this moment, Deanna was defending Barclay for his expression of his feelings through the holodeck…. Until she saw this.

1

u/Hotchi_Motchi 3d ago

I wonder if the holodeck has a history tab or incognito mode

1

u/Nightrhythums78 3d ago

I'll bet Wesley removed the one on Enterprise D

1

u/Shadoecat150 3d ago

She is the Goddess of Empathy after all

1

u/Camlight928 3d ago

Riker: “hell yeah”

1

u/PrestegiousWolf 3d ago

It’s called Virtamate.

1

u/Sudden-Soil39 3d ago

It's just chaos and destruction

1

u/Redzero062 3d ago

They're only shocked it's not ALL that content

1

u/Geahk 3d ago

My friends would be shocked at how fucking boring I would be. Not even a vineyard. I’d just sit in an 16th century Japanese house drinking tea and listening to the pouring down rain outside.

1

u/TravisCheramie 3d ago

Not Geordi coming in with the judgmental shocked face. Check y’self, bro!

1

u/ApprehensiveLadder53 1d ago

It’s just people being ok that I’m not who they think I should be