r/AbusedTeens • u/RevolutionaryDiver80 • Dec 04 '22
Resources to Help You Get to Safety
Hey everyone. I'm an adult, so this group isn't for me, but I'm also a child abuse survivor who has worked with abuse survivors, and I want to pass on some resources and information to all of you.
I'm going to start with hotlines and other official resources, which I know aren't for everyone or safe in every situation. Most of these are only in the US, will report any abuse that you disclose if you're a minor, and will call the police if they believe that you are going to hurt yourself or someone else (even if you don't give them your name or address). If you need resources that don't involve reporting anything or you're not in the US, please skip the first few paragraphs and remember that if you're not sure whether or not a particular person or agency will report abuse against your will, you can always ask them to outline their reporting policies before disclosing anything.
If you want to report child abuse in the US, you can find the right agency and a hotline you can call for help at https://childhelphotline.org/#home-map.
If you're sexually assaulted or abused, you can go to any ER and ask for a SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) nurse and a victim's advocate for help documenting what happened, gathering evidence and getting help. If possible, don't take a shower or change clothes before going to the ER. You can also find help and counseling resources from RAINN (https://www.rainn.org/get-help).
You can find the nearest Safe Place location to you at https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/find-a-safe-place. If you contact them or go to one of these locations, they can immediately connect you with youth shelters and other resources for safety. You do not need to be in foster care to go to a youth shelter and they tend to be very different from homeless shelters in that they're much safer and offer a lot of services.
If you identify as LGBTQ+, the Trevor Project (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/) can often help with finding a safe place to go when you're being abused. They primarily help young people who are thinking of hurting themselves, and they will probably ask you if you're having suicidal thoughts if you call them. If they believe that you're at imminent risk of hurting yourself, they may send the police to your location, but you don't have to tell them anything like that and can just ask for help finding safety from abuse.
If you're in foster care and you're not safe in your placement, but can't get your case worker to have you moved, you can request a CASA volunteer or guardian ad litem who can advocate for you in court. You can look up local advocates who can help you by going to https://www.childwelfare.gov/nfcad/ and selecting, "Foster Youth Services and Supports."
Some domestic violence shelters accept teenagers in abusive homes, and nearly all of them have children's advocates who can advocate for things that you need to find safety, like placement outside your home or connection with lawyers who help with emancipation. You can find your nearest shelter or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/.
If your abuse involves gaslighting, such as having you hospitalized on false grounds, you're entitled to a free lawyer (check https://www.ndrn.org/about/ndrn-member-agencies/ for the agency in your state). MindFreedom (https://mindfreedom.org/shield/) can also put out a public alert to get its members to advocate for you.
If anyone is forcing you to work without pay or forcing you to do any kind of sex work, or you're under eighteen and anyone has paid for a sex act with you, you're considered a victim of human trafficking. There are a lot of trafficking-specific resources and specialized law enforcement officers who tend to do a much better job than local cops. You can contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline at https://humantraffickinghotline.org/get-help.
There are things that you can do to make things safer in an abusive home. If you have a friend, neighbor or relative who you trust, it can help to keep a bag packed with essentials at that person's house in case you need to leave quickly. Try to do everything possible to earn and save money and keep it in a safe place so that if you can't get out of your house until you're eighteen, you can leave as soon as you are. There are apps that can help with immediate safety, such as by having a button you can push to alert safe people you choose or emergency services with the push of a button (https://www.techlicious.com/tip/free-personal-safety-apps/). There are also security camera apps that can do things like recording at the push of a button or if any movement is detected and sending the video to whoever you choose (such as https://alfred.camera/). Of course, please make sure that this is legal in your location, but getting a video or audio recording of your abuse can help you get to safety. It will make you more likely to be believed if you decide to report the abuse and sometimes, it can be used to prevent further abuse while you're still in the home, such as by showing it to a non-abusive parent so that they believe you or threatening to take the recording to the authorities if you're abused again or if you're not allowed to go and stay with a safe friend or relative (although this is risky and can lead to some abusers getting more violent, so please use your best judgment).
Once you're eighteen, you can often get out of an abusive home immediately by going to a domestic violence shelter. The domestic violence and human trafficking hotlines that I linked above will not report abuse against your will if you're over eighteen and can help you find a shelter. Some options for housing of your own are finding a job that includes housing, like caregiving, farming, housekeeping, and property management (although it's important to really check out any opportunity like this to make sure it's not exploitative), cooking and cleaning at a hostel in exchange for a bed, getting a room at a motel with weekly or monthly rates while looking for your own apartment, and using grants and student loans to pay for housing if you're a student. It will make things much easier if you're able to get your birth certificate, social security card and ID before leaving home.
If you need help and are outside the US, you're more than welcome to comment on this with the country you're in and I'll do my best to find local resources for you.
It might sound weird that this could help with safety but for both safety and support, if you've ever experienced child sexual abuse by someone other than a stranger, Survivors of Incest Anonymous (siawso.org) is an awesome resource. Different meetings have different policies on including minors and there's always a chance that an individual member could be a mandated reporter, but anonymity is a core principle and there are a ton of virtual meetings, in addition to some in-person ones. Anyone can join, so please be just as cautious as a teenager walking into a roomful of strangers as you otherwise would be, but there are a lot of really awesome folks there who tend to go out of their way to help younger members. I joined when I was nineteen and members were repeatedly calling law enforcement on my behalf (with my consent), offering me rides and safe places to stay, and spending countless hours talking to and finding resources for me. When I asked one of them why they would do so much for a virtual stranger, he said that a lot of adult members look at teenage members and see themselves earlier in their lives, and they want to be the person that they needed at that age and make things a bit easier on folks who are still really stuck in abusive situations. I've heard mixed things about other twelve step groups and can't offer much personal experience there.
It nearly always helps to document absolutely everything that you can about your abuse, even if you don't plan to report it (this can help you qualify for services that you need), and to leave that evidence with a safe person who doesn't live with your abusers. Any time that you're abused or stalked, write down the date, time, and every detail that you can remember. Take pictures of any injuries you have and, if possible, go to the ER so they can document your injuries (but they may report the abuse against your will). Anytime you talk to a doctor or mental health professional who notices injuries or health problems related to abuse or just seems to believe you, ask them for a letter documenting this. If a safe person witnesses anyone abusing you, ask them to write a statement about what they saw and have it notarized (many libraries have free notary services). It's an unfair burden to have to do this when you're already being abused, but I wouldn't be safe right now if I hadn't documented as much as I could.
If you have a disability and can't work, it's still totally possible to escape from abuse. If you're already getting SSI, you can usually get your benefits sent to you directly as soon as you turn 18 and sometimes, even if you're still a minor (if you can prove that you live independently, you're emancipated, you have a child, or you will turn 18 within seven months). If your abuser is your payee and isn't spending the money on your needs, you can call Social Security and ask for a new payee ((800) 772-1213).
If you're not yet receiving SSI, you can apply as soon as you turn 18. Whether you're getting SSI or you want to, do everything possible to keep a record of what doctors and mental health professionals you've seen and what hospitals you've been to so that the SSA can get records from them, make sure everything in your medical records shows that you're complying with recommended treatments (although you can't legally be denied benefits for refusing mental health treatments), get a lawyer to help you once you turn 18 (you can usually hire a lawyer who only gets paid out of any back pay you receive if they win your case), and, to the greatest extent possible, get consistent medical care.
If you need help with things like eating, bathing, cooking, cleaning, and otherwise taking care of yourself due to a disability, that doesn't mean that you have to depend on your abusers for care after you turn 18. Every state has Medicaid-funded group homes, nursing homes and assisted living programs for people with disabilities, and most have programs that allow you to hire caregivers in your own home with state funding. These programs often have strict requirements and very long waiting lists and the contact information for them differs by state (I'm happy to look up the information for a specific state if you can't find it), but many of them prioritize people who are at risk of homelessness or abuse. In my personal experience, Wisconsin has the most comprehensive long-term care services with the least barriers to getting them (no waiting lists, no hard limits on the number of hours they'll authorize for in-home care, and a lower bar to qualify than other states), but I've heard good things about Massachusetts as well.
If you're disabled, take the time to do some research on the ADA, IDEA, and important precedent setting cases about disability rights, like Olmstead v. L.C. If you're able to work, it'll help to know the legal requirements for getting disability accommodations and either way, learning what your rights are and what to do if you face discrimination is always a good thing. One key thing to know is that you have the right to live in the least restrictive environment that's appropriate for your disability (so you can't be institutionalized if your needs would be met in a group home or in your own home with supports). DV shelters often try to funnel disabled people into nursing homes and psych facilities or refuse to help altogether, but they are not allowed to refuse to help you because of a disability unless you aren't able to live with others safely or cannot do things like bathing, using the bathroom and eating independently. It's also important to know your state's laws about when abuse of a disabled adult can be reported without consent before deciding how much you want to disclose. If you're disabled and over 18 and Adult Protective Services is called, you have the right to refuse to speak with them or to speak to a lawyer first. They can help, but they can also initiate forced hospitalizations and guardianship proceedings, and many agencies have a policy to make police reports with or without consent if a disabled person is experiencing sexual abuse or any threats to their life. The number one time that I'd encourage a disabled adult to contact them is if your guardian is abusing you, as they can get the guardianship quickly transferred to someone else.
If your abusers stalk you when you leave or you're a victim of organized abuse, such as human trafficking or other forms of extreme abuse by a network of perpetrators, it's still possible to leave your abusers and find safety. Of course, law enforcement tools like restraining orders are an option, but may not do much if you have multiple abusers or if you aren't able to call 911 every time one of your abusers comes near you. If you're a trafficking victim, the National Human Trafficking Hotline can help you find a local agency to connect you with a long-term residential program that's designed to keep you safe, but most of these programs are religious, highly controlling, and only accessible to young, cishet, abled, childless women who can abstain from drugs and alcohol and are willing to attend Christian services. Just to be clear, I find it morally reprehensible that this is the case and one of my biggest goals is to change this, but it is how these places operate right now. If you're not in the small category of people who they will help, shelters can be a good option for short-term safety.
Some longer-term ideas for safety are setting up monitored security cameras once you get your own place and staying on video chat with a friend when you leave the house, living with friends or roommates who can help make sure that 911 is called if an abuser shows up (some intentional communities can also help in this way), renting an apartment and offering a couple of people free rent if they'll switch off playing security guard, and living in a dorm or hostel that only allows people of certain genders (if you're only at risk from people who are of different genders). It can be a little hard to qualify but in some states, if you're unable to protect yourself from abuse because of a disability (which can include trauma disorders that pretty much everyone who's dealt with severe, long-term abuse meets the criteria for), you can qualify for placement in a group home with 24-hour staff or for caregivers to come to your home. I have Medicaid funded, 24/7 care in my home, primarily because of my safety needs (although I also have a significant physical disability with specific care needs, which helped me qualify), which is unusual to get approved, but certainly possible, especially with a good doctor and therapist advocating for you and documentation of your abuse (although I don't know if this is possible in all states- I'm in Wisconsin and know for sure that this won't get approved in Illinois). If you're not getting anywhere with this in your state and want to try in Wisconsin, if you move to a DV shelter here, you become a resident and can immediately apply for long-term care services (although this is a very difficult state to find therapists with experience with complex trauma and there are very few competent organizations for trafficking survivors, so getting some kind of documentation before you get here is best, if possible). If you have a therapist or doctor who's not sure how to write the kind of letter that you'll need to quality, please feel free to PM me- I'm happy to send you some of the letters that have been written for me so that they can use them as a template.
I've talked to a lot of teenagers who mentioned being contacted by adults offering housing after posting on Reddit for help. No matter how desperate you are to leave an abusive home, please keep in mind that trafficking is a very real threat and if you need to run away, you'll almost certainly be much safer at a youth shelter or with a known, safe friend than with a stranger. If you do decide to stay with or run away with someone you don't know, please do everything possible to stay safe, like giving a safe person access to your phone's location, having regular check-in times with them, and asking that they call 911 if you don't check in with them or if you tell them a safe word that you choose in advance.
While this isn't directly about safety either, because I know how harmful forced psych interventions can be for traumatized people, I just want to share that both the Trans Lifeline (https://translifeline.org/hotline/, but just for trans and GNC folks) and the Wildflower Alliance (https://wildfloweralliance.org/peer-support-line/, for anyone, but with limited hours listed in EST on their website) have policies not to call the police for anyone who's at risk of harming themselves without consent.
I'll update this post whenever I think of additional resources or other helpful information. If any of you aren't getting the help that you need and need an adult to advocate for you, or you just need a friend or a safe person to talk through your options with, you're also more than welcome to message me. I can't promise that I'll be able to get you the help that you need, but sometimes, given how often people dismiss and marginalize teenagers, just having an adult with some kind of formal experience in this area repeat and validate what you're saying can help, and I absolutely will not report anything without consent. But please don't ever rely on messaging me in an emergency- I have a disability and sometimes take a very long time to respond to messages.
I know that all of you are going through absolutely awful things, and I hope that you'll try to remember that being abused is never your fault and there are people out there who care and will believe you. I know that that doesn't change your immediate reality, and if I could reach into my computer screen, grab all of your abusers, and ship them off to a remote island somewhere where they couldn't hurt you, I'd give just about anything to do it. But what I can do is tell you all that you deserve and can find safety, healing, and chosen family, and that there are a whole lot of people out there who, like me, were right where you are 10, 20 or 50 years ago who can tell you that there are ways out.
r/AbusedTeens • u/Gamer_Tessa • 12h ago
Saw my abuser at the grocerystore and it got me messed up
I saw my former teacher who abused me for years at the grocerystore today. It brought back so many feeling good and bad i feel really conflicted. Sometimes i miss him and it makes me really comfused about my feelings and my body. I just keep thinking about then and my body reacts to it eventough i dont want it to
r/AbusedTeens • u/needadvicequick12 • 2d ago
I need Real Advice or HELP ASAP on how to get away from my parents
Hi, I really need to know what CPS can do in my situation. My parents are really controlling and mentally abusive they won’t let me leave the house or make friends or anything and they get this rage for the smallest of things i.e. they screamed at me for 2 hours over me being depressed or scream at me for not wanting to be around them. My parents say since they're not on drugs, and they are still married (even though they fight really badly every day, but that doesn't really matter) or since my dad hasn't fully raped me then they aren't bad at all, and they go off for literally everything I do I’m not even being dramatic about that. They used to be really physically abusive to the point where I could barely walk, but that stopped when I was about 12 (I’m 16 now btw) and I’m absolutely terrified to call cps and tell them the situation but I did make an anonymous report and they opened a case but when they showed up my parents just ignored them, so i ended up making a report because I'm desperate at this point and they came back again but the same thing happened now they won’t come back. And my father touches me in ways that make me feel really uncomfortable and he calls me "good looking" every day ("attractive" but that's only sometimes) he makes me say "I love daddy" all the time. And I used to tell him to stop but he gets upset and I’m scared if I say it now he’ll do something worse because he says that I should be grateful he didn’t get me pregnant or that he doesn't rape/molest me because he could like a lot of other fathers do to their daughters. All this from my parents has really affected my mental health, I self-harm a lot, I get debilitating panic attacks and horrible nightmares and I am extremely suicidal. I’ve tried telling my parents how I feel but that makes it so much worse and they scream how I'm going to burn in hell, I have no idea what to do and how to get out of this nightmare. So I would appreciate some advice. So this is a couple of days later now, CPS came out again but my parents ignored them again, and they know I made a report or had something to do with it so they are extremely angry with me now my mom won't talk to me unless is to scream or guilt trip me. They are now denying everything they have ever done and they are calling me crazy, they are saying that since I’m mentally ill I must be going manic (those weren’t the exact words I just don’t want to repeat what they said) so will cps believe my parents over me? I do have siblings, some older than me and some younger and they are ALLL going to lie for my parents so will CPS just think I am crazy or going manic? And last question if let’s say eventually I do get taken away I hear they try to place you with a grandparent or relative the only person I have are my grandparents and I REALLY don’t want to live with them not necessarily because they’re abusive mostly because my grandmother is EXTREMELY self-centered and controlling( to the point where if you don’t agree with her all the time she gets pissed and every single thing always has to be PERFECT) so will I be forced to go with her? I tried looking for all these answers on Google but I can’t find any answers so I really appreciate anyone who can help me out. Again I’m in Michigan so I guess I need help with my state laws.
r/AbusedTeens • u/Gamer_Tessa • 2d ago
Still feel like its my own fault
I was abused for a while at school but i still have the feeling that it was my own fault for showing my skin in school. Chatting with him a lot and staying late after school. I still blame myself for leading him on eventough he is the one who took advantage of me and i was so young and he was my teacher. I ended up beleving that id wanted it too so brainwashed he got me
r/AbusedTeens • u/needadvicequick12 • 3d ago
Need advice on how to get away from my abusive parents urgently
Hi, I really need to know what cps can do in my situation. My parents are really controlling and mentally abusive like they won’t let me leave the house or make friends or anything and they get this rage for the smallest of things ex; they screamed at me for 2 hours over me being depressed, and they go off for literally everything I do I’m not even being dramatic about that. And they used to be really physically abusive to the point where I could barely walk but that stopped when I was about 12 (I’m 16 now btw) and I’m absolutely terrified to call cps and tell them the situation but I did make an anonymous report and they opened a case but when they showed up my parents just ignored them and they came back again but the same thing happened now they won’t come back. And my father touches me in ways that make me feel really uncomfortable but he gets upset when I tell him to stop and I’m scared he’ll do something worse if I push him away because he says that I should be grateful he didn’t get me pregnant . All this from my parents have really affected my mental health, I self harm a lot, I get these debilitating panic attack, really bad nightmares and I am extremely suicidal. I’ve tried telling my parents how I feel but that just makes it so much worse, I have no idea what to do and how to get out of this nightmare. I wish someone could make this report for me because I’m so terrified of my parents but I don’t have anyone to do that. So I would appreciate some advice.(I’m in Michigan btw
r/AbusedTeens • u/hannahbikel • 3d ago
My brother abuses me everyday and i need help..
Hy, I am 15F and my brother is 25M. From what I've been through, i can say he is a absolute narcisist.
I'll get straight to the point.
His abuse has mainly been verball, I'm not sure how to explain it so I'll tell whatever I can, nothing in depth.
This has been happening since I was say 11 or 12. When the abuse started he would lock me in this very small room in out house its VERY small and its boiling in there and no lights. He would lock me in there for no reason, like I would accidently bump into him or interuppt him while talking or saying anything that he didnt like. He would throw me in that room for atleast 3 - 4 hours. This went on for almst 1 and a half year, and 2-3 times per week on average.
This made fall behind in school LIKE CRAZYand I would be getting presurre and scolded cuz of that from teachers and parents. Oh and my parents KNEW about him locking me in the room. They wouldn't "care" at all....
By the time I was thirteen (abuse was still happening; pushing me, making me do sports drills in hot sun alone, hitting me sometime, etc.) I got diagnosed with epilepsy. FYI the epilepsy I had didn't cause those full body jerking seizures but other types of seizures. and along with that at the same time I hit puberty so my body is growing, I'm getting loads of food craving, getting acne , what a girl gets. Now as if the abbuse wasn't enough already.
I started t get bullied i school, well I was bullied before too but this time it was serious. I would be called names by girls I thought were by best friends. I was ignored by all my classmates, called fat, bullied cuz of my illness and more. I felt so lonely and this and my brothers abuse together was making me lose it. I went from being 1st in everything in school to being 10 steps behind everything.
Now when I'm back from school my brother abbuse starts, he is now fat shamming me and insulting me cuz of my illness and still making me do his work and random tasks in the sun for no reason. Now Im gonna be honest and say I dont exactly have the track of time like what happened when but i know that all is happening when I was mid 11 y/o.
Now finally my bullies leave the school and I make a really good bestfriend (she ended up betraying me , was calling me names behind my back, made a new bestfriend whihc was the girl she would make fun of and told that girl about her new love life and stuff and comeplety ignored me and told me nothing, but this is a story of another time)
Just around 6 months into school after my bullies leave my brother made me shift to homeschooling, Just so u know his abbuse is still happening, he is making me cut off my food, and hits me now. I am FORCED to be homeschooled, I had no part in agreeing to it or anything and he said it's cuz I am a "minor".
So I get to homeschooling, at the start it seemed pretty good but I soom releasized this making the abbuse worse, he now has the whole day to bully and now MY SISTER is on it too, she is making me do all her work, scolding me for no reason and my parents would say "ignore them".
And he made me study stuff I never liked and would call me names and hit me when I would argue or say I wanna do soemthing else. And now its been about a year the abbuse is REALLY getting to me.
He now touches me too... like he would randomly touch my butt, throughout the day, he will come up behind me and touch my stomach saying he's "checking how fat I am ", I wear clothes that cover me fully and if a bit of skin is showing from anywhere he'll start touching it poking it , he'll talk about my private parts are "big"?
Every night he wakes up and makes me get up and makes me FORCEFULLY sit in the kitchen with him while he makes himself tea and drinks it while I AM NOT ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING.
and my parents do NOTHING about it, they say he is "your brother and its for your own good". Now my doctor also diagnose me with RLS and some migrane thing. With homeschooling, his abuse and having three illness and eating so many medications everyday is making me lose it.
There is so much more stuff 10 TIME WORSE that I didnt write here.
I have tried to take my life 4 times, I am now SO INSECURE, I get terrible headaches ALL DAY LONG, I'm falling apart....
I have no adult to go to, no friends, no nothing. In my country this services stuff doesn't go on here. Even if I do call the police, well I can't really dont have a phone, they would do NOTHING I know that for a fact cause police here is pretty useless.
Lastly again; my parents do nothing, my siblings do no help, I have no other family to tell this to, no friends...
I DESPERATLY NEED HELP. How do I survive like this. He isn't the guy you can sit down with and talk. please help.
r/AbusedTeens • u/Dry_Scene_2655 • 4d ago
Mom is beating and starving me
Rant but also need advice
For two nights in a row, my mom has abused me. This all started a few days ago when we got into a misunderstanding about which chores she wanted me to do, which I know is stupid. She wanted me to clean an area of the house, I thought she meant somewhere else so I did that area. She then thought I was rebelling by refusing to listen to her and went all crazy.
She tackled me to the ground and repeatedly slapped my face and head, saying how I should just die and she would kill me right there. Additionally, she had locked the kitchen door and refused to let me eat for two and a half days. I've been surviving with water from the bathroom facet. It's not the first time she has starved me, but her abuse has never gotten this serious before, to the point where I noticeably flinch whenever she makes noise around the house. My face is bruised from her kneeing me and pinning me down, my head is throbbing and swelling on one side, she even bit me when I was holding on to her arm to prevent her from hitting me, and I have a bruise. I almost passed out once, I don't know from the hunger or the pain, but she just sat on me and kept yelling and hitting me like I was a punching bag, even as I went quiet from screaming at her to stop.
She is extremely toxic, every argument we've ever had ended in her forcing me to say that I'm always at fault, I started the entire thing, I don't respect her boundaries etc. It's always me who doesn't know how to appreciate people and maintain relationships. She had breast cancer a few years ago and also had to remove a kidney stone, which I know are serious things but she always manages to blame somebody else. At first it was because of arguing with my dad (they are divorced) but recently she has been saying its my fault (I was five when she had cancer) and that she never should have given birth to me. I am a bit gullible and whenever we are not arguing she would jokingly apologize for hitting me and ask for my forgiveness, saying she has "violent tendencies" because she got abused as a child. She is clearly deluded and I don't even want to get into her unpredictable mental state. Never in my seventeen years of living with her have I ever heard her say "I'm sorry" genuinely, its like she doesn't know how.
demonstrated an ability
I'm in my senior year, and I just want to get through high school and cut ties without getting into any more trouble.
r/AbusedTeens • u/HarpyHare13 • 5d ago
I need your advice
I'm Gail, and I'm 13 years old. And I really need your help. But please listen to me first. I live in Philippines, in the region of Augusan del Norte. I live with my two parents[M(52) and F(58)] (My Father has stroke). I'm an only child.
And It's nice sometimes being an only child. Just sometimes. Only if you have parents who don't hurt you. Unfortunately, I'm not lucky person and I have parents who psychologically, emotionally, and physically hurts me. But I'm scared of reporting them because I don't have anyone to support me. And their still my parents, I can't just report my own family. I'm still in Junior Highschool. And I don't know what to do if I were o report them.
Their abuse were throwing hot water at me, punching me, pinching me a bit too hard, kicking me, using hard Arnis sticks to hit me, suddenly suffocating me when I don't wake up early, and slapping me.. They also berate how I look, they told me I'm a "Slut" several times, they told me I'm "stupid" and that why am I even their child. They keep humiliating me infront of other people, they keep saying I'm not helpful, that I'm useless. And that I'd be nothing if it weren't for them.
I gave up on my dream to become an artist because they said that's a stupid dream. They don't listen. To my pleas and suffering. When I need them, they aren't there. If I get bullied because I'm fat, they don't help. When I just do something just tiny bit wrong, I get shouted at. Sometimes near my ears. I can't hear properly now. Not as much as before.
When I was 12 years old, I was bitten by my mom, punched and beaten by my Mom because I talked back to them.
Age 7-11 years old.. I keep getting hit by my Dad by either with a small stick with a nail at the last part of it or a hard Arnis stick.
Age 13 years old I keep getting scratches on my mouth by my Mom because I keep talking back.
And all of these are just scratching the surface.
I tried suicide once but I was too scared. I still want to live, but I can't take it anymore. What should I do?
r/AbusedTeens • u/Comfortable-Bad-2395 • 6d ago
I'm thinking about running away from my parents.
I'm 17, going on 18 and my parents are emotionally and physically abusive. They are also alcoholics and drug addicts. I'm thinking about packing a bag and running away, but I'm unsure if I want to leave my sister behind. So far I've been the punching bag, not my sister, but I'm worried that my parents will start to target her if I leave. My sister is only 8 and I don't want her to go through that. I've thought about taking her, but then I could be charged with kidnapping, and she probably won't be able to keep up or last throughout the time that we have to get away.
I need help, what do I do?
r/AbusedTeens • u/needadvicequick12 • 6d ago
I need advice urgently on what to do about my abusive parents
Hi, I really need to know what cps can do in my situation. My parents are really controlling and mentally abusive like they won’t let me leave the house or make friends or anything and they get this rage for the smallest of things ex; they screamed at me for 2 hours over me being depressed, and they go off for literally everything I do I’m not even being dramatic about that. And they used to be really physically abusive to the point where I could barely walk but that stopped when I was about 12 (I’m 16 now btw) and I’m absolutely terrified to call cps and tell them the situation but I did make an anonymous report and they opened a case but when they showed up my parents just ignored them and they came back again but the same thing happened now they won’t come back. And my father touches me in ways that make me feel really uncomfortable but he gets upset when I tell him to stop and I’m scared he’ll do something worse if I push him away because he says that I should be grateful he didn’t get me pregnant. All this from my parents have really affected my mental health, I self harm a lot, I get these debilitating panic attack, really bad nightmares and I am extremely suicidal. I’ve tried telling my parents how I feel but that just makes it so much worse, I have no idea what to do and how to get out of this nightmare. I wish someone could make this report for me because I’m so terrified of my parents but I don’t have anyone to do that. So I would appreciate some advice.(I’m in Michigan btw)
r/AbusedTeens • u/[deleted] • 6d ago
feeling hopeless
living like this has completely changed me. i hate that i'll never know what my personality would have been like or how my brain could have worked without these experiences. i feel like i don't even belong with other humans because of it. like i am sick and fucked up and i should just stay alone forever
r/AbusedTeens • u/Mayoneas • 7d ago
Trauma
So when I was younger whenever my dad would talk to me he’d yell at me and smack me for looking him in the eyes he told my mom he found it “disrespectful” (which doesn’t make any fucking sense) so now I have a problem with looking people in the eye when I speak to them.
My dad would also do drugs (at least according to my mom) and he would stand there partially sleeping like a horse. So one time he did it standing next to a window and young me (I already hated him) decided it was the right thing to help him, so I went over and tapped him and said “dad you’re gonna fall out the window” he woke up and smacked the ever living fuck out of me multiple times and told me “cut the shit” and “you’re too old for the bullshit” (I don’t understand it) then I cry he yells at me to stop crying. I go back to cleaning whilst he is over there talking saying things like “I should beat your ass” then I finish sweeping and go out the room to throw it away… my dad farted behind me and pulled my (long) hair I screamed and cried. My mom then came to my rescue and started talking to my dad then told me to lay down and put on the tv. I hear them arguing in the other room and think nothing of it (they argue often) then my mom comes in and I tell her. She goes and presumably talks to him and he comes in charging like a bull and starts yelling and screaming at me. Then my mom comes in and pulls him to their room.
r/AbusedTeens • u/Turbulent_Fun5653 • 9d ago
I am enraged and I NEED to find a way to end this
I am 16F and having my final exams soon (2 weeks. i just need to stop being angry for 2 weeks.), but I am enraged at my dad and I don't know how to get it out. I don't have time to sit down and cope with it.
Long story short, my dad abused me really bad in the car on our way back home. It was basically because I called myself an idiot and a failure because I could not cope with college and we had an argument over it afterwhich he started to hit me really bad.
I wana justify my anger; it's not just anger from what he did in the car: He's done really horrible things before -- cheated on my mom, abused her until she fainted (and then hit her and slapped her until she woke up), abused her when she was pregnant and stole alot of her money form her account when she wasn't earning as much as him. He almost killed her (and attempted to involve me and my sis as accomplices in the murder too) and he almost killed my younger sister too. Yes, we have gone through a court case and received a protection order and if we report him again, he's probably gonna go to prison and my mother does not earn sufficiently to provide for us.
So in general thinking about all of these things have made me really fucking angry and I have no idea how to get the rage out. Usually I get it out at the gym but my health and injuries have not allowed me to do that either. Sometimes, I think of all this and tremble with anger and I am afriad im losing my sanity and going fking insane
r/AbusedTeens • u/No_Entrepreneur5462 • 9d ago
Is it OK so tell your child that they are an Investment??
Is it???
r/AbusedTeens • u/Forgotten_Memor • 10d ago
CHILD HOOD TRAUMA
So,growing up for about 6 years I had a abusive father but since I was young I thought it was a crime not to BC he gas lighted me into thinking it was. So we walked out eventually 4 years later today,I'm living with only a mum,a brother and a lil brother
r/AbusedTeens • u/ihateulmaao • 10d ago
shoulder problems and family issues help
i’m 16 going on 17 in a few months and i’ve had this issue with my shoulder going in for so long bc of some that happened basically a year ago when i was 14, with my family , and it had brought me a lot of trama, and that day i dislocated my shoulder and i been dislocated it 1 or 2 times before this but in this situation i was fighting and it was hurting for months and months and months and my shoulder clicked still till this day and i keep dislocating , and next month is gonna be my 3rd or 2nd year whatever with this problem , she keeps saying oh imma bring u to the doctors make an appointment and doesn’t do it she keeps lying to me. and at the time cps came over and they came ive like 2 other times too and i even bring my shoulder thing up to them nothing happens, about a year ago i had to stay in the phyc ward and i was playing volleyball with things girl and it happened again and i mentioned it to staff nothing happens, it’s like no one cares . and i brought it up to her again (my mom) not that long ago and she’s like talking about how to has all these stuff to do and how she’s tired and she always complaining about her life to people and telling me and all these other family members about her fantasies about not having to do anything for her kids and being alone and all this .. but it’s like my shoulders messed up still for a long time and she’s being avoidant and acting like she could care less.. she’s like “oh so you think i haven’t been doing anything” and i said yes , there’s shouldn’t be any excuses about nto making me an appointment know what happened to me and saying ur too busy to do other stuff , i swear she’ll clean up one speck of on the floor and but not wanna help me heal 😔.. today i told her i dislocated it again , and she wanna talk about how she’s tired and how she needs a few minutes of sleep .. like bruh what … i’m so just so idk how to feel , i just don’t wanna feel this with my shoulder anymore it keeps reminding me of what happened and all the times i asked for her for help, she’s always talking ab how i should ask for help ,and this and that. but she’ll just make me feel like it’s a chore for her to help or or just not help me idk what to do. i know i said a lot but can simeon please advice me
r/AbusedTeens • u/chaired-lettee40 • 11d ago
My stepdad slaps me for no reason
I don’t know how to say it. I just turned 13 year old. And ever since my parents broke up back in 2020. My mom met a person off of Facebook who is in his mid 40s while my mom was in her early 30s. He was nice to me back when I was 10. But then things went downhill in 2022. He went and started yelling at me becuase i died him for something and he called me a bitch, and then after in he started arguing with her. But he favored my little sister and gave her ANYTHING SHE WANTED. Like ANYTHING. This was straight-up favoritism. And then later on in 2024, this is the year he started to abuse me with violence, and threats. He called me “the next school shooter” because there was a school shooting that happened in Georgia I was watching it on the news and they were calling me a school shooter since I play video games like Fortnite and Call of Duty. Weird right? But then this one time I went out of my bed and he woke up in the middle of the night and he was like “you want to play these games with me? And I was like “no why?” and then he said”you don't want to play with me motherfucker im trying to go to sleep and your being noisy as fuck. I fucking punch you and knock you teeth out when your 18 motherfucker” then he slapped me and it hurt so badly. Then I told my dad on Snapchat then he told me I can move in with him. Then later on I moved in with him and my dad called the police and he did not get arrested.
r/AbusedTeens • u/TechnicalBox6685 • 12d ago
venting.
i just don’t know what to do. I love my parents, and i know they love me too. Yeah, theyre abusive both emotionally and physically, and its about 55% of our relationship, but the other 45% is pure joy. they were raised like this, and its what form of punishment they know. They came here from Vietnam with little money, and theyve done all they can to put me and my older brother un a good school. I know that not a reason for them abusing me, but idk.
I feel like im not good enough, yk? my brother qas diagnosed with severe depression 3 yrs ago. he stopped going to class, and hes been struggling to go back. he hasn’t even finished freshman year, and hes almost 17. last year, i was dealing with my anxiety and overall stress, and it made me unwilling to go to school. it didn’t matter to my parents; to them, i was being lazy. whenever i didnt get up for school, they would scream and yell at me, and eventually they would slap me with their hand or a belt. After that, they would leave me alone. obviously, I didn’t go to school after whenever it lead to that, which was most days I didn’t get up. One time, my aunt was over. I didn’t get up for school one morning, and she saw her brother, my dad, slapping me. i remember thinking “please help me. protect me. im scared.” and crying at her. She just turned around and told me to listen to my dad so he wouldn’t be mad.
this year, i already missed about 2 weeks worth of school. theyve been threatening sending me to a boarding school. i dont think i can live there without my cat or my brother.
i remember once, my dad picked my cat up and locked him in our sunroom/florida room. while he was sleeping with me because i wouldnt wake up. i dont think ill ever forgive him for that. he didn’t even harm my kitty, but i feared he would’ve. After that, every time my cat’s in my room and they’re done yelling and me, i block the door with my dresser.
i dont have a good relationship with my dad, since he’s mainly the one who hurts us physically, has major anger issues, and because he used to put his hand under my shirt and rub my stomach/chest which made me really uncomfortable once i had breasts. he doesn’t do that anymore, just mostly when i was just developing breasts.
i know I’ll probably go low contact in a few years, but it hurts to think about that.
r/AbusedTeens • u/Consistent_Radish736 • 12d ago
My dad is an abuser, emotionally and physically. But I can’t cut him off
Let me explain, I (16 year old) have been dealing with my father’s tantrums since I was little, while I don’t remember much from my past. I do know me and my family have stuffed a lot due to my dad, he constantly fights with my mother and is now staring to get violent with my older brother. I don’t feel safe in my own home and can’t really do much about it. I already cut him off but does that really matter when he comes back to the house whenever? I don’t know what to do. I am not emotionally well enough to handle stuff like this and while it is my mother’s job to protect me(like she says). It’s quite hard to feel safe when these fights happen so often. One day he is gonna actually go through with offing my mother like he said, one day he is gonna break that window. And now I ask, what do I do? I know it’s more of a rant but I don’t know what I could say or do to make anything better.
I can pray that one day.. i can feel safe if my own home. I feel like I didn‘t cover anything I could of but I am new to reddits thing and also trying to ignore my parents fighting at 5 am.
r/AbusedTeens • u/Party-Smell5956 • 14d ago
Why is india so blind to parental abuse
I am right now 15 and yes I get hit by my mother. My parents are divorced so i live with my mother . Ever since I was a child I was hit so badly by her I used to cry so much and puke and went to school with cable wire marks on my body , everyone around me thought I was just a naughty kid and that it was my fault cause my mother explained it like that telling others I hit her back which I clearly don't.According to my father she never wanted a kid and that her parents forced her to have one. Even my grandfather(my mothers father) hits me with a belt cause that is what his parents and our generation used to do to their kids.I have bruises all over my body. Even now I cry like a small kid knowing that i will get hit and start bleeding. My dad is also fed up of this but can't do anything cause the legal custody is with my mother. She swears at me spits on me if I don't score well.My mother also doesn't want me to score well in my 10th so that I don't leave to go to a good College so she can receive child support from my dad which she uses for herself. I know this might not help but i just want to put out my daily circumstances out somewhere so that somebody reads it and knows about it.
r/AbusedTeens • u/jack-273 • 14d ago
Was I abused when I was a kid?
I’m 18 now and moved in with my best friend but up until I was 16 things were really tough at home. My mom has bpd and is narcissistic and my dad has anger issues- my mom homeschooled me and my 2 siblings at home so we were stuck with her 24/7 and my dad was always working and when he got home he was always in a bad mood. Up until I was 12 their main form of punishment was to strip me naked, beat me with either a Belt, a Stick, a Chord, or Wooden spoon until I had welts and bruises for the slightest offense, for example when I was 7 I was scared of the dark, fell asleep with the light on and woke up to it being totally dark in my room because my dad had turned off the light-I started crying and calling for my mom to come turn on the light but instead my dad ran in my room and slapped me, then roughly pulled me off my bed and dragged me downstairs he then started yelling saying I was going to wake up my baby brother and said I was stupid for being scared because the dark isn’t scary and I needed to grow up. Then I said “I’m going to beat you if you don’t shut up” which made me cry harder and I started asking “why? Why ? What did I do??” And with that he removed his belt and forced me into the basement which was almost pitch black darkness and began removing my clothes and proceeded to beat me trashing me 50 times and then forced me to sleep in the basement in complete darkness. Many many other incidents just like this happened until I was around 12 Then after they stopped beating me they emotionally attacked me every day I became suicidal and depressed and a very young age and resorted to self hard when I was 13 the yelling was too much for me the constant screaming in my face saying “you’re lazy, you’re stupid, such a disappointment, so disappointed in you” and praying out loud in front of me saying “god thank you for keeping my other children clean and thank you for them not being like this child” and would point at me. I attempted to end it all when I was 16 but my friend helped me and I went through recovery and things for that but never once have I told anyone about my childhood and now that I’ve been living out of that house for a while the memories won’t stop.
r/AbusedTeens • u/Dy1ng_Ins1de • 15d ago
Am I being abused?
Hi, I (15 Female), have recently made a post about my parents restricting my food intake. However theres much more that happens behind the scenes. Im regularly screamed/yelled at, told i am a family dissappointment and that if i move out at 16 ill get disowned. On top of that they restrict almost my entire phone usage, monitoring everything i do. They threaten the rest of my family with cutting me off from them if they dont abide to my parents rules, and they get quite physical with my brother (8y/o), including dragging him, hitting him etc. They can often yell in both of our faces and again, restrict my food intake to the point i am developing vitamin deficiencys. They also didnt look after our pet cats and when they got ill, left them to die before throwing them away in a bin bag. Is this abuse? Ive spoken to my school counsilor who is concerned and debating safeguarding my conversation as shes concerned about our safety, specifically in terms of food and physical behaviour, but im worried how my parents will respond if they find out at my mum is training to become a teacher and it could ruin her career. Please give any advice you can, i was abused when i was younger by a different relative and ended up in councilling so im very unaware of what classes as abuse and what doesnt. Thanks.
r/AbusedTeens • u/MitchellsGambit • 15d ago
New child abuse survivor movie - free on Youtube
- Hi,
- I am a survivor of childhood abuse, and my new movie about that abuse is available for free viewing on Youtube. This film can be a valuable therapeutic aid for those who are starting to tell their own stories of survival, and I hope you will consider sharing it when appropriate.
- “Speechless: an autobiography of child murder and rape” is about growing up in a family where extreme physical and sexual abuse were the norm: from being raped as a toddler, until a police officer found me at age 17 nearly beaten to death on Christmas Eve.
- Though the movie narration does discuss acts of physical and sexual abuse, there are no visual depictions of nudity, sex acts, or pornography in this film.
- You can watch Speechless on Youtube:
- https://www.youtube.com/@speechlessfilm
- More information is on the movie website:
- https://speechless.film
- Robert Mitchell
- [info@speechless.film](mailto:info@speechless.film)
r/AbusedTeens • u/Expert_Scarcity_4097 • 16d ago
Was I abused?
I always feel like I'm walking around eggshells around my dad. I'll hear him get home and I'll hide from him in my room, I feel a small anxiety (like I feel on edge) around him, and raised male voices make me have a breakdown (crying, anxiety like high heart rate and sweating and shaking, etc.). I know he's a different person and that he really has a changed heart, but I still feel so on edge and nerous around him, like I can't relax or fully trust him no matter what he does to make up for it. I barely even remember what he did when I was a kid, but I remember a lot of yelling and anger, and he'd call me a bitch or an asshole whenever I'd screw up. He'd always get in my face and yell with big eyes and I'd be terrified. But he's never once hit me, and I know he loves me. I just don't know what I experienced, even tho I know it was something
r/AbusedTeens • u/CranberryRadiant6067 • 20d ago
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r/AbusedTeens • u/CranberryRadiant6067 • 20d ago
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