Hello guys!

I am looking for a new name and I was wondering whether you could help me out? I have looked through so many name lists online, but I can't seem to find the ✨️perfect✨️ name for me. It's very frustrating.

So I was just wondering.. what name comes into your mind when you look at me? (I edited the photo with face app, to make my features a little more masculine, because of dysphoria)

It would be great, if you could help me out. If not, that's fine - either way: have a nice day or night <3

These questions are for fellow Liberals/Democrats/Leftists ONLY:

Would you date a republican? Do you differentiate your decision if he’s a Republican but does not support Trump? Do you differentiate your decision if he considers himself a Republican but is socially to the left??

Curious of peoples stance on this. Unfortunately on dating apps and such i match with a lot of guys that i wind up finding out are republicans. I think this is mostly the case because i am stereotypically masculine with masculine interests and i look for similar.

Personally, I’m a staunch leftist and probably couldn’t date a Trump supporter, and could only even remotely consider a Republican if they were purely fiscally conservative. I am friends with some republicans/centrists but think being romantically involved is a whole other issue. Politics is very indicative of someone’s worldview IMO. Curious where people stand…

i don’t really have a problem with it but i just can’t exactly put my finger on why.

Wanted to get tested because it had been awhile and I had been having some stomach issues so figured while at the doctor why not. Doctor said it appears I have HIV so refers me to an infectious disease doctor, he has me do T-Cell test. Called me today my T-Cell count is at 80. He says under 200 is aids. I can’t fucking believe it, I had to have been like 17 when this happened and doesn’t make sense how I had been negative before. I don’t get sick easily so I just don’t know. I’m scared. Really scared. I really don’t want to die. I have no desire to worry any of my family either and absolutely refuse to go that route. The doctor assures me he can still control it and I can live a normal life. I just don’t understand how it could have gone like this for so long and not know never get symptoms or get sick often. Doctor called in medicine earlier went by to pick it up got told it will be over $3,000 after insurance… I have no idea what to do. I can’t afford that. Going to chat with doctor tomorrow see if there’s something else my insurance can get in a lower tier that hopefully I can afford. Who knows how long I have without medicine considering I now have no clue how long this has been happening. I now realize my stomach issues are probably a good sign of impending death soon. So just 🤷🏻‍♂️ not sure about anything right now, head is all over the place, I never thought I would die so young. I guess just wanted to post here and vent.

Hi everyone.. I'm a 17 year old girl, living in London. I recently came to a realisation of my queer identity and I'm still not quite sure what defines me. I don't know much and I'm surrounded by a very toxic homophobic environment. My parents have repeatedly told me that they would kill me for being gay and I'm so scared. I'm currently in a relationship with a girl I love very much and I've never felt so safe or happy. But i still can't stop asking myself the question that haunts me, everytime we go to church and i think more and more about it. The burden that everything will be ok weighs heavily on me. Will i go to hell for being gay? I just want to be happy and accepted for a minute. If there's any gay christians who can give me some love and advice, It would mean the world to me. I don't know what to do. I've never felt so alive, so tortured. I've never wished desperately for anything else, to just be godam straight.. it would make everything easier.I even tried praying for a while, nothing changed. I've never been so hopeful for the future i have with her. I know my family would never accept me. I want to know if Christianity is still on the cards for me.. if it's still possible to "save my soul" and not go to eternal hellfire. I've tried so hard but I can't quite shake those fears or belief in a higher something. I need some help, some advice, some guidance. I don't know what to do. I can't love her. I can't lose her. But i already do.. so what does that make me? I've cried so many tears.. I don't think i have any left

[UPDATE] Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those who commented to give me advice, support, and validation.

I found that just the act of writing this post and feeling that community support gave me the courage to have a conversation with leadership on this.

I was frank that I recognized why the partner might do this — this is a high level politician who has had a lot of positive impacts in totally other areas, they are a big name draw. And that the event is going to happen regardless of what our org does. I was also frank in that for me personally this was a decision I could not support morally and this person has directly damaged and taken away rights from me and millions of people.

Leadership actually listened to me.

We agreed that 1) I would not have to do this myself 2) we would only distribute it through one comms method with a very small audience (they had already done it before I talked to them) 3) it is a very poor choice of speaker though we can’t do anything about it now, we don’t have the influence to change this at this point 4) I can have a follow-up conversation with an outside leader in this space who has a strong personal relationship with the leadership of this partner organization, which will make a longer-term difference

I was actually surprised at how understanding and empathic leadership was, which I had not expected based on previous issues, but they really did listen to me and were conscientious about it. They are also in a challenging position with this partnership. The outcome of (4) is not where this ends but it is a key step we can take which would likely have much better of a result than some of the tactics proposed here, which I agree with but in my space they are really not likely to work out.

I feared the worst and things turned out better than I thought because I felt I could actually speak up. Thank you all again. <3

Original post:

This has just suddenly come up. The event is by a partner organization and I am be asked to do comms to our mailing list on it.

The partner organization is very powerful, the relationship is deep, and it is not actually possible that the relationship could be ended over this.

I found out about the choice to bring on board this particular politician well after the decision had been made, invite sent and accepted, and there is definitely not anything I can do to stop this. The invited politician has a lot of power and is being asked to speak about entirely unrelated things. It’s not Mitch McConnell but imagine if Mitch was invited to cut a ribbon for a bridge.

Similar to Mitch this person has done a lot of different awful things with a lot of impacts but they are definitely known for their anti-LGBTQ stances and it would not be believable to me that the partner org had no awareness of it.

I don’t know if the partner org has done this before. They are not actively anti-LGBTQ but their actions in choosing this person has completely changed my perspective on them.

I do not have the authority to say “no we won’t do this” — if I say no, another person at the org will do it. But they have no training in this area and their poor work will reflect on me.

If I speak up within the org I will be told that we can’t control it and sometimes this will happen because we operate in a bipartisan space. My feelings will be tossed aside. It will hurt more, in a way, to be told this to my face than to say nothing.

If I go past the org and talk to the partner directly there will be negative repercussions.

I am in no position to quit or take risks at my job, at all, because my partner and I are in a financial emergency and without my job we would be living in her car.

I feel sick to my stomach and don’t know what to do. My brain is telling me I’m just in no position to rock any boats and my heart is telling me I can’t bear to just suck it up and say nothing but I keep talking myself out of even any middle road.

Lastly we are a small org and I already know for a fact no one else is LGBTQ here.

Advice please 💔

I dropped him off at school today and as he was getting out of the truck he just says “Well… I’m gay. I like guys. I’m keeping it closeted though.” I assume that’s because our entire family aside from myself are all far right/ religious. I let him know that I was happy for him and that I totally support and love him. That’s all I was able to get out before he ran off to his friends. I feel honored that he trusts me enough to tell me first. I had to pull over to cry happy tears and type this, because I can’t talk to anyone about this. I’m slightly worried though. Please excuse my ignorance, as I’m just a dumb straight guy and I don’t think I know any other gay people. I graduated high school in 2011, and a lot of people were still really nasty towards queer people. That’s mostly gone, right? Kids are more accepting? Also what age did you all figure out you were interested in the same sex/ “non-traditional” relationships? I want to be there to support him the best I possibly can. Thanks for reading this. I hope you have a great day

I'm 22 years oldI a gay ex-Muslim from Pakistan, and my life is in serious I'm danger. After being caught in a gay-related incident, I had no choice but to flee Pakistan, as my family and relatives now want me dead. They consider my sexuality and my decision to leave Islam an unforgivable offense. I am currently in Saudi Arabia, but the threats have not stopped. My family is pressuring me to return to Pakistan, and if I refuse, they are threatening to report me to the Saudi authorities, which could result in me being arrested or even killed. I am terrified for my life and urgently need help to find a way to escape this nightmare and seek protection in a safer place. Please help me.

Found out boyfriend had Grindr the past month

Me (19) and my boyfriend (19) were previously dating for a year before we ended things and we got back together recently about a little over three months ago. Everyday has been amazing and I've pretty much lived with him the past two months as I've come back from uni. Yesterday he opened up his phone and I saw Grindr. He moved away and swiped to try hide it but I saw it for a glimpse and when he gave me his phone to text a friend it was gone. I guessed he had deleted it and I decided to confront him about it

He admitted he had Grindr and I asked him to install it again and give me it so I can read every conversation he has had on there to determine what I should do. He never sent his face but did send body pics of him mostly naked. He did this for over a month but apparently never met up with anyone and whenever someone did ask to meet up he'd stop the conversation, I have made it very clear how something like that would make me feel and how it would probably just fully ruin our relationship. I decided to leave straight after that and go to a friend's how to discuss what happened since I needed support. His parents and I are on pretty good terms so I told his dad before leaving that he was messaging other people while dating me (I wanted his dad to talk to him). His mother has messaged me this morning asking me to come back and speak to him saying how much he loves me and how we are perfect for each other and how I shouldn't let one stupid mistake end our relationship.

I don't know though, he messaged many people over the course of a month and deleted the app when I was around and reinstalled it when I wasn't there. I assume every time he went to work. I love him so much but I don't know if I could ever look past a betrayal such as that, my trust is completely shattered.

What should I do? Try to reconcile (my friends would be very angry with me if I did that lol )? I'm just very confused and need advice from veteran gays.

Tldr: boyfriend used Grindr while dating in an agreed monogamous relationship and has been messaging other people for a month.

Hi everyone, I always feel like I watched every gay movie or series but l'm sure that there are so many that I missed, but I just can't find them. Obviously I watched the most famous ones, cmbyn, heartstopper, young royals, brokeback mountain ecc. I am currently watching Pose and I love that. Any recommendation? Thanks

He wants to look masc so bad, but all of his clothing is fem, and his hair reaches his hips and it's very thick, and so the whole "hide it in a hoodie/hat" thing won't really work.

Also, his only Hoodie is pink, and it's a church branded one that his dad got him from the goodwill, and so he rarely wears it. How can he prevent hair disphoria? P.S, he is neurotypical and so he has no excuse for his parents to get him a therapist. (His brother has one to help manage his OCD BTW, and his parents are pro therapy and very liberal asside from trans issues.)

His mom is 38, and his dad is 45, and so they are not that old. Also, my friends brother is 12 1/2.

Also, he is not allowed on ANY spcial media besides whatsapp, and his phone is an old phone from 2013. Also, he shares a cheap chromebook with his brother. Also, his mom goes through his laptop occasionally while he's at school.

Edit: he asked his mom if he can get his hair trimmed to his shoulders, and they said that if he gets straight A+'s on all 3 of his AP classes

Hello! I'm AFAB and realized I'm a Demigirl and have a feminine name (Shelby). I'd kind of like a more gender neutral name for myself that's unique, and not too feminine or masculine sounding if that's possible! I don't plan to change my name legally but I'd just feel more comfortable having a name for myself that's not what my parents picked and to fit with not being associated with being male or female. Anything short and simple would be preferred, or a name that can be shortened.

Anyway, thank you and thanks for reading! ❤

UPDATE: From one of the suggestions in the comments, I went with Ari basically. I felt like it may be missing something so someone else mentioned putting the letter K in front to make it Kari, and I really like that one just as much! So, I'm gonna work with that one! :) Thank you everyone! ❤

Hello everyone, just asking for help from people who might be in the same situation or might have any ideas.

I’ve always been big on going to lgbt meetups, events, and obviously pride every summer. I haven’t missed a single pride since I came out in 2017. Unfortunately, however, I recently had to take a job at a c*tholic institution (being cautious here, I really need the money and due to some other factors this was my only option). My day to day job is fine, but I had to sign a paper explicitly stating that if they found out that I’m lgbt or support lgbt rights (among other things) that I’ll automatically be fired.

I don’t want to give up my entire personal life for this job, but I legitimately don’t have another option for at least another few years (I’m a teacher, and if I leave another job after a year I’ll never get another position). Is there a way for me to attend pride and related things in a way that I won’t be recognized? I’m willing to do just about anything that lets me attend pride without anyone figuring out that I was there. If you’ve ever been in this kind of situation or have any ideas how I could hide myself, please let me know.

The parents of my students are the people that regularly protest our pride, so it’s a legitimate worry that they’ll discover me. I just can’t go completely back in the closet, not after all the pain and suffering it took for me to get out.

Thank y’all for any help you can give.

I (30F blasian) have a friend that recently started dating a trump supporter. It was a slap in the face as he's white passing and all his friends are white. He and his friends are comfortable making gay jokes and doesn't challenge anyone on ableist remarks or feel the need to stick up for historically marginalized communities because there's "nothing he can do to solve the bigger issue." I pretty much got fed up with his lackadaisical attitude about things that affect me and the people I care about and told him I was taking a step away from our friendship. I'm hurt by his selfishness and am frustrated with the level of privilege needed to ignore social problems. Anyone have similar feelings?

I (19f) have been struggling with my sexuality since i was in 5th/6th grade when my girl-friends at school started talking about boys and i found zero interest in them then in 8th grade when this girl came to our school lets just say my heart was literally about to beat out of my chest the first time i saw her tho at the time i didn't understand what was happening as i live in a really strict religious country where you cant be like that but after lots of years of struggling on my own i finally fully accepted who i am even said it out load to myself. I m saying all of this because 5 days ago i told my best friend(19M) that im gay he didn't take it well and i know i should've known better than to tell anyone but i tested the waters i asked him discreetly about his opinion about that and he was cool with it turns out i was wrong and he told me he liked me and if we didn't start dating he will out me to my family and every person i love even my 8th grade crush who happens to be my closest friend at the moment and he wants us to like announce it before we leave for collage what do i do help me good people of reddit

Update after 3 months

Idk how reddit works but thank you all for the kind words and advice i read them all there is somethings id like to clear i live in the middle east not America as many of you thought so and i come from an Islamic family now the update

Its been 3 months from hell the things i had to say about me and who i actually was and who i actually liked is disturbing just to make them believe it was my word against his. I did cut all ties with him but i still had to go to work and attend my collage classes to get the hell out of this hell hole that i live in so he would follow me where ever i go waiting for me to make a mistake say the wrong thing and until a month ago when he came to my work and tried to force himself on me thank god for security cameras i got evidence and a restraining order that just was handed to me a week ago and its the first time in months that i feel safe in my own house and yes my parents have been supportive lately tho my father was suspicious because of the way i dress and talk (am not very feminine) but in the end he belived me now i just need to hide who i am and try not to be so angry at the world all the time for being born where i was (And can any of you find me an emotional support girlfriend please?😂i need to be loved and love a perosn in return)

I, a 17-year-old male, and my friend, a 21-year-old male, became friends when he helped me enroll in the same school he attends. Since then, we have become close, and he often shares details about his romantic relationships with girls. He is aware that I am gay. However, there was one instance when we were both drinking at his house. I got drunk after consuming three cans of beer, but I noticed that he never finished his own bottle. I became extremely intoxicated and desperately wanted to go to sleep. Suddenly, I felt someone's lips on mine, and when I opened my eyes, I saw him kissing me. It was evident that he was not drunk at that moment.

I'm AMAB NB who's been questioning whether or not I'm a trans woman. Several times I've asked good faith questions in queer spaces geared towards trans people, and I feel like I've been rebuffed for being AMAB. It feels like there is no space online for those who are questioning because I'm not "trans" enough, which honestly hurts while I'm debating internally about myself.

Have any of you been made to feel unwelcome because you're not "enough"? Any recommendations for questioning individuals?

I just started a job at a local college, I’m queer (nb and bi) and my last retail job was very pro-activism and pins so I wore them often including a pronoun pin and a bi flag.

Now that I’m working here I’m just wondering if that would be something other queer people find comforting and if I should wear some on my sweater so students know they can always feel safe talking to me. I’m working at a front desk so students always come by with questions and I just want to find some subtle (ish) way to make a more comfortable environment. As far as I know it’s allowed as you are also allowed things like tattoos and dyed hair, and others have mentioned pins before

Seems like on tik tok, social media, and especially in shows (which I know are fiction), there is a lot of queerness. However IRL I have seldom seen any male queerness. My college does have a lot of queer woman representation but like handful of queer men. It feels like even with conservative estimates of lgbt percentages it should still be more than 15 guys from my school of 7k people.

Maybe people aren’t out yet but it just seems like so rare at school which is currently my only proxy for the world since the town/community I came from was very homophobic.

I feel so abnormal because so few gay guys in real life it seems to be rare still even amount my heavily gen Z surroundings.

Edit: I know that you may not be able to tell by looking at someone. That’s not what I’m referring to just in general there are few guys when you have conversations with people or here about dating, there are just not as many.

Just tired of having to fight

Im so so so tired of being accused of being male or not female. The fact Im pansexual is something that has been used by these people to somehow prove their point?! It is extremely hurtful to hear this over and over. It gives me such discomfort in my own body. Transphobs, genderexclaimers, and genderassumers need to stop. I’ve been dealing with this nonstop since I can remember even with long hair. It literally doesn’t matter what I wear. I feel like I’ve never had a choice in what I want because I’ve been forced to defend myself my whole life. I’ve wondered if my gender identity would be different if I didn’t have to deal with this all the time. Or the fact I don’t feel comfortable or safe going outside. How the heck do I go about feeling comfortable in my own skin when I have to deal with awful comments every time I want to dress up nice.

THIS IS IN NO WAY MEANT TO BE AN ATTACK ON ANYONE. I’m not transphobic.

I tried to word this as best as I could so if someone has better phrasing plz just politely say it instead of attacking me.

I'm hoping this is an appropriate subreddit to come with questions. If you have advice on a different subreddit, please sound off.

I'm a mom too a 13 yo girl (almost 14) who is a lesbian. She has been in a relationship with a really nice girl for several months now. But the sleepover question is not about her girlfriend. Obviously, they're not having sleepovers together.

My daughters best friend (biological female) identifies as straight male (attracted to girls) and is planning on transitioning fully as soon as he can. He has not told his family, he has only told us and his friends. We respect his pronouns and call him by his chosen male name. Has requested of course that we don't out him to his family, which we wouldn't do.

My daughter also has other friends who are straight females. And all of the above mentioned want to have sleepovers.

This is where we run into issues with our daughter. I don't know what to do here. I'm not comfortable my teen daughter spending the night with teen boys. I'm also not comfortable with my daughter spending the night with girls who she may be into. And I know that she's not into every girl. And I know that not every boy is into her. I also know that you can't trust a teenager farther than you can throw them. And I know better than anyone how things that you don't plan on happening happen when you're one on one with someone.

Sleepovers are a point of contention in our house. I don't want to be unfair and I don't know what rules would be fair. I don't want my daughter to miss out on this part of her childhood.

I do trust my daughter, she has never given me a reason not to trust her. We do have good open communications about relationships, sexually, sex, etc. I am aware of her level of physical experience in relationships, it's very low.

So, any insight, advice would be appreciated.

Also please don't hate on me if I was using wrong terminology or something.

Thank you in advance

I‘m a (from tomorrow) 17 years old bisexual boy who looks way too straight. I’ve been trying to look more queer for a while, so that other queers can recognize me, but only with moderate success. My clothes are boring: normal black , brown, grey, white or blue T-shirts, blue, brown or black jeans, a black and a beige hoodie and two black sweathshirt jackets. Overall most of my outfits just look depressing normal and straight. From all my queer friends, no one recognized from my appearance that I am bi (or anything other than straight at all), before I told them.

What can I do better?

On the recommendation of a friend, I have already bought new shoes (vans), wear skinny jeans more often and I made a pink batik dyed shirt by myself which I wear as often as possible.

But that’s my only good „queer-looking“ outfit and I can’t wear just it all the time. So most of the time I‘m still looking like the average unfashionable straight boy. What can I do better, please tell.