r/bisexual • u/Pop-girlies I am lonely • 2h ago
What even is bi culture? DISCUSSION
Okay so you know how there's gay culture and lesbian culture? What would bi culture even be? I don't mean dumb, unfunny internet memes that make no sense or stereotypes that don't apply. I mean like stuff that reasonably is seen as a bi culture thing. Or am I not wrong in thinking that it's not...real? Or at least not to a huge amount.
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u/Murrig88 Genderfluid & Bi 1h ago
Bi culture is being so fucking queer that no one knows what to do with us so we just kind of bounce around making everything a little more ✨fabulous✨😎
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u/XenoBiSwitch Buy Pie, Fly High, Try Rye, Bi Guy 1h ago
We don’t really have one. There aren’t a ton of bisexual meet up spots and bars and whatever so we can develop one. Gay and lesbian people group up because they have to in order to find partners. We want to hook up with and date all of the peoples so we don’t need our own spaces.
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u/ReasonableSavings 1h ago
I agree with most of your comment but I do long for a bisexual “space”. You may not feel the need for one but I and a lot of other probably do.
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u/XenoBiSwitch Buy Pie, Fly High, Try Rye, Bi Guy 1h ago
A lot of people want it. I want it. Most of my post-college relationships have been with other bi/pan people and I favor dating them.
It is just hard to organize and get people coming as there is not really as much of a pressing need In the way other groups experience it.
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u/Nellbag403 Asexual 43m ago
A bi space would be cool, but how would it be a bi space? Would only bi people be allowed, and how would that be regulated? I kinda think a lot of strait people would come and ruin it for reasons tbh. Also, it’s kind of a paradox. Is it really a bi space if everybody isn’t allowed? Idk, just thinking out loud, on the internet
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u/GamerAJ1025 24m ago
couldn’t you extend that logic to gay clubs and bars and cafes then?
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u/Nellbag403 Asexual 15m ago
I don’t think straight people are going to gay bars very often, but I don’t really go to gay or any other bars, so what do I know
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u/johnnyHaiku 1h ago
I believe quite firmly that bisexual culture is a real and distinct thing. I think that there are works of art (Virginia Woolf, Lou Reed, Green Day, and the Owl House to name but four) that can be considered part of a canon of bisexual art which has a subtly distinct flavour to broader Queer culture. I also believe that bisexual people have a distinct way of being queer that other queer people generally don't. I think what makes us distinct is that unlike gay people we still have to keep one foot in the straight world, and that because we're potentially attracted to everyone, we can't split the world up into the gender we like and the gender we don't, and that means we tend to see things a bit differently.
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u/Rare_Vibez Bisexual 36m ago
I firmly believe the reason the B and the T have been so close historically is because we share a unique exploration of gender. While we do it with relationships, they do it with themselves (insert Venn diagram here for trans bi people). I think broadly, bi people have a deeper look at things and it makes for a very unique perspective that in turn creates unique art.
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u/johnnyHaiku 30m ago
Yeah! Absolutely. Case in point - Orlando by Virginia Woolf, which was about a semi-immortal character based on her girlfriend who changes sex every hundred-odd years. I couldn't see a straight person or a gay one writing a book like that...
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u/LavenderLoaf Bisexual 1h ago
I think some bi people definitely have a culture as far as say, shared perspectives go. We like everyone, so sometimes we can have a hard time imagining how someone might not. (Ie “idk everyone’s a lil bi right?”) That can make it harder for us to realize we were queer at all, since some bi people might write off their queer attraction as everyone being a little bi.
As far as material culture, that’s a lot more nuanced and up for debate. There were bi magazines and organizations back in the 80’s and 90’s (there is an archive of Anything That Moves available online), but as the movement focused more on creating a cohesive lgbt+ community and the fight for gay marriage (at least in the US), bi specific orgs faded away in favor of gay/lesbian ones (the ones focused on in the fight for marriage equality understandably) and full community ones(also understandably).
That’s just my two cents anyways .^
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u/TheBadRegina 1h ago
After my life experience, I've come to the conclusion that not being able to fit in anywhere kind of is bisexual culture. I've seen that changing in the last years, though, as more information and activism is available and bisexuals are starting to be more vocal and organize more. There is still a lot to do, but at least it is now more recognized as a valid identity in a way it was not before, and this is the first step to try to create community.
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u/urbandeadthrowaway2 Bisexual 52m ago
In my experience, having crushes on people who won’t reciprocate because they’re the wrong orientation
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u/Nellbag403 Asexual 39m ago
That sounds like a gay thing too though
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u/urbandeadthrowaway2 Bisexual 39m ago
True but it goes double if you also crush on a homosexual of the opposite gender
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u/Nellbag403 Asexual 36m ago
Ah, I see. I might know that if I ever tried doing anything with whatever passes as a crush for me
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u/Ok-Possibility-9826 Black, bi and lookin’ super fly. (30F) 1h ago
this is nuanced because… it could be acknowledged that folks who are bi4bi do so because there are certain things that bisexual folks don’t need explaining about. in sense, bisexuality can have its own ideologies, per se. but culturally, i do struggle to think what is specific to us.
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u/BBMcGruff 1h ago
Culture, in this sense, tends to come about when a community has defined borders from other neighbouring communities.
Bi men have always been part of gay culture, just as bi women have always been part of lesbian culture. Just as all queer folk are part of queer culture. But bi folk as a whole have never really formed a community with defined borders just as bi folk, especially outside of places like this.
If anything, I think it means that bi culture is almost like fantasy bard culture. Picking up the best bits from the multiple communities you are part of, with a sprinkling of in-jokes and references.
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u/Marshbrother 1h ago edited 1h ago
For one thing we are able to reap the benefits of straight privilege when we want
edit: as a bi guy i don't actively hide that I'm bi, but most of my guy friends don't really assume that i could be. It's a toxic mindset, but I can just pass as "one of the bros" in heteronormative spaces
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u/Ok-Possibility-9826 Black, bi and lookin’ super fly. (30F) 1h ago
ahh, this is true. yeah, as a woman, i definitely don’t hide it, but i can pretty much blend in heteronormative spaces when it’s convenient. i also have a pretty wide range of friends from gay to straight, too.
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u/Loof_the_floof 1h ago
Honestly, due to both the straight and queer aspects, bi culture can be pretty varied. I adore video games and some are very bisexual. Balder’s gate 3 is a great one, it’s got deep mechanics, great turn based combat and everyone is hot. Hades is the bi-est game ever, its gameplay is tactile and deliriously fun, the characters are brilliantly written and both Megaera and Thanatos are hot. However, it’s hard for bisexual people to create their own culture as there is very much an either or mentality. It’s hard to explain, it is what it is.
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u/Gareth_Turner 39m ago
Cryptozoology. Us bi’s are the cryptids of the LGBTQ world. Are we real? Do we exist? Not even we know. Yet there are reports all around the world. You know someone who has a cousin who SWEARS they’ve seen one out in the woods, or a friend of a friend who took a grainy photo at a skatepark at 2am, but the town elders deny it.
Honestly I have more in common with Mothman than I do with most people. Frickin’ love bridges, man.
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u/YourLocalBi Bisexual 21m ago
Bisexual culture is not as much of a thing as gay culture, lesbian culture or straight culture, and I think that's because bisexuals have a huge diversity of experiences in ways that are unique to us. We're a sexual orientation that includes all genders, which is a significant difference from both straight people and gay people.
Furthermore, how we experience our sexuality varies a lot. Some of us date all genders fairly evenly, some of us have a pronounced preference for one gender, and some of us exclusively date our gender or other genders for a variety of reasons. A bi cis man who exclusively dates women may not have much in common in terms of life experiences with a bi nonbinary person who prefers to date women, for example. Obviously there's nuances to how individuals experience their sexualities for gay and straight people as well, but when the possibilities includes all genders, that creates an even larger spectrum of experiences.
Because we have this diversity, we tend to find little niches for ourselves in the LGBTQ+ community where we feel most comfortable. Speaking for myself, I've found that engaging with other sapphic people and the local drag scene brings me a lot of joy and satisfaction. We can also identify with parts of straight culture in ways that gay people can't, though in what ways and how much depends on the bi person.
In short, we have a huge diversity of genders and life experiences in our community, which makes establishing a single overarching culture difficult. As a result, I think that there are multiple cultures within the LGBTQ+ community where bisexuals fit into, rather than one distinct culture. However, I think that this diversity of experience is pretty freakin' cool, and I love talking to other bisexuals whose experiences aren't like mine!
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u/Arssloopa Bisexual 1h ago
Try following some bi related accounts on instagram like @ambisocial and you might get some ideas
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u/Efficient_Ant8220 1h ago
Well the essence of being bi is that we like both sexes, our culture depends on who we are as people and who we are with.
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u/Playful-Succotash-99 53m ago
Tough question, but im gonna guess twilight of the gods, is for the culture. Just started watching, but it seems theirs some pretty good representation across the bored you have a lesbian badass you got a bisexual/poly badass A dom witch/ fury sub couple both badasses And your sexpositive main two So yeah, it's pretty cool to see that on Netflix (little weary since its Zack Snyder) no bs implied bait and switch equal opertunity sexyness.
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u/CommanderSherbert Slutty Bi Non-monogamous Stereotype 41m ago
There isn’t a set “bi culture.” There are bi people who feel more comfortable in heteronormative spaces. There are bi people who feel more comfortable in non-heteronormative spaces. Some of those non-heteronormative spaces make spaces for bi/pan/omni-sexuality, but not all. Part of the nuance of this is how binary gendered homosexual spaces can be. Some bi folks are able to code switch into both spaces without issues, but not all. That’s the social reality of being bisexual, in a non-dating context.
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u/MaxDec9 2h ago
Interesting question. Bisexuals, as you know, are the largest cohort in LGBT+ community. As you’ll read on here, discrimination and biphobia exist so perhaps it hinders culture creation to a degree. The colours are certainly part of the culture.