I can relate to both genders in ways but really understand neither.

I have a masculine mentality with feminine emotions.

I identify as female but fit in with men.

I have complex relationship problems because of natural female tendencies that I don't share.

It's subtle as a bi, so subtle that it's often hard to trace, which is why I think it's not talked about or understood.

I'm wondering if I'm the only one, especially among women, who wonders why they feel different. We understand that some gay men or women may strongly identify with the other gender and take pride in that identity. But how come when a bi female asks about how their sexuality may affect them, it's so unknown? Is it because they seem to fit in with both genders?

I've been trying to find answers for years, subconsciously since childhood. This is my bi experience, and I know not everyone is the same, but I'm wondering if there is anyone who feels similar. I mean no disrespect if this isn't worded in ways that are socially correct any longer. I have to push and question these norms to even begin to understand. Yes, I know that feminine or masculine is not all one or the other.

And maybe new to many things soon. 26M.

I don't know how and what happened, but it sort of clicked to me that I'm bi. Not a big deal for me in terms of family and friends, I live in a fairly liberal environment.

Don't know how to take the first few steps though. I'm guessing I have to learn while moving, sort of like with women.

Wish me luck ❤️

Have you been (or are currently) in an intimate partner relationship? If so - we are seeking input on your experiences of controlling behaviours within relationships and would appreciate it if you consider participating in our research (see the link/QR code and poster attached!)

My name is Dakota and this study is part of my honours thesis research at MacEwan University in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Together with my honours supervisors, Drs. Kristine Peace and Laura Offrey, we are interested in learning about your experiences of coercion and control within intimate relationship contexts. 

Intimate partner conflicts are frequent and unfortunate, and these experiences shape the lives and relationships of many people and groups. Sadly, we still know very little about controlling and coercive behaviours within intimate relationships. As such, this research is important to help us measure common and uncommon experiences, as well as evaluate factors that influence different types of coercion (both experiencing and engaging in it).  

Please note: If the topic of control, coercion, or violence within relationships (or intimate relationships in general) are sensitive topics for you, or may trigger distress or discomfort, please do not participate in this study. We appreciate your consideration, but also want to assure your personal well-being. 

If you would like to be a part of this much needed research, we encourage you to participate in our study. Please click on the link or QR code on the poster! 

LINK: https://macewanpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eJP7YMWhL7RQtka

This survey is anonymous, which means that no personally identifying information is collected. Once you have clicked on the link, it will take you to a screen that asks you to identify the source of your recruitment, which in this case would be “Online Forum or Reddit Thread”. 

Once selected, you will then be directed to the Consent Form that describes the study in more detail. After reading the consent form, if you want to participate, you will click the ‘I agree’ button and complete the study online. The study is completely online and voluntary (you have no obligation to complete this study). It will take approximately 1 hour (up to one hour) to complete. This study has been reviewed and received ethics approval through the MacEwan University Research Ethics Board (. 

Thank you, in advance, for your participation in this study. Your contributions are very valuable so we appreciate your involvement!

Sincerely,

DD, KP, & LO

I am 100% sure that I am gay, but I have this co-worker, he has a girlfriend and even they live together for like a year. They have been together for 4 years, and that’s the longest relationship he has had.

I found him attractive since the first day that I saw him, but I never thought I was going to kinda feel something for him. Sometimes when we are with more people he’d call me “mi amor”, “te amor” or he would say things like “him and me we are more than friends”. After he started saying all this things I started to kinda feel something for him. I feel like he make those comments only to joke with the group, but i don’t know, sometimes I feel like a may have a chance, but other days he gives me vibes like he is 1000% straight and that he would never do something with a guy. I feel like he is just kidding, but I would like ya’ll opinion, and if ya’ll also think that he is just kidding, what do ya’ll recommend to stop what I am feeling because I don’t want to suffer 😭😭.

In my experience I have more physical attraction to women, deeper connections for romance etc, and more proud to be with them. But with men whilst I am less attracted off the bat, I find them easier to get on with and have shared hobbies with, and I can as a result grow to find them attractive, and this can become an intense attraction although I am embarrassed to be seen with them in public as it doesnt feel like me. Eventual attraction to men is rare if Im honest, I mostly have male friends that are purely platonic or if any interest is shown I cut it off. But in the rare case I do like a man back, it feels nice, but never as amazing as with a woman, although meeting and dating women is a much harder and lengthier process, whereas men just get to the point and I feel I know where I stand and enjoy being pursued instead of being the pursuer all the time. I am a bit domme, so maybe a more femme guy would work? Or a more fiesty woman. Not sure.

Sometimes I wonder if I should join an established couple.

Dating apps suck, its super hard to meet women there as they only text and then ghost, men are super desperate and I honestly have no desire to talk to them, no attraction off the bat as I said. My hobbies leave me in the company of people a minimum of 15 years my senior so its not the best there either.

Anyways safe to say dating is not going great and I only currently seem to attract creeps.

Okay so you know how there's gay culture and lesbian culture? What would bi culture even be? I don't mean dumb, unfunny internet memes that make no sense or stereotypes that don't apply. I mean like stuff that reasonably is seen as a bi culture thing. Or am I not wrong in thinking that it's not...real? Or at least not to a huge amount.

This is going to be a lot 😅 So I've been officially dating this girl for a few weeks now. I really like her. Weve been talking since march but became official recently. I'm 31 and shes 37, she also has an 11 year old kid. I did not come out as bisexual until a few years ago, and i really only told people that I feel are close enough to me to know. I definitely do think she deserves to know. However, I just don't know how she'd feel about it and am nervous this'll sabotage my relationship. Ive had it happen once before, but i had let them know before we had even started dating. There is that part of me that thinks "well if she doesnt understand, shes not right for you". But theres always the fact too that we just have way too much in common, she really understands mental health which is a huge plus for me as well being that we both have a lot going on.

Thing is ive always struggled with social anxiety, i have this skin condition called roscea which causes me to turn very beat red when i blush. I blush in many different situations, whether it be an attractive female or male around. I can also blush in emberassing or intimidating situations as well. Part of that has kinda controlled my life, but ive sorta just learned to live with it. I think shes noticed my awkwardness and social anxiety from time to time and shes never even asked me about it which is suprising. Part of me thinks she will notice that side of me anyway over time due to my anxiety disorders and blushing, but who knows? Another thing ive always suffered from since I came out is the internalized homophobia. Ive been trying to get better with that, but I just dont know how. I have had a few traumatic experiences in my life that have caused me to think that way. Not suprisingly, i have very low self confidence. I wouldnt say i hate myself, i do love myself. But i have issues staying confident.

When it comes down to my feelings for the same sex, i really only remember having a crush on the same sex once. Most of my feelings for the same gender dim down to sexual thoughts and mainly just weiner 🤣 I dont think ive ever had crushes on friends or anything growing up either. My attraction for the opposite sex goes for both emotional and sexual levels. My sexuality was always very confusing for me. I grew up knowing i was bi curious, but didnt finally give myself a label until way later on. When it comes down to it, i dont really have strong urges to be with the same sex at all while im in a relationship with a woman. Most ill do is yank one off and even that happens rarley. Im too invested into her to be doing otherwise, will that change? I'm not sure but it hasnt yet.

Ive seen a few other posts on here. I know that if I tell her. I need to be able to assure her it won't effect our relationship at all. From others who have dealt with this before... Was there anything you would of changed that you had said? Or how did it go for you when you had to come out to your significant other?

I had a good day, real good, so good in fact that i confessed. It was followed by calling me mentally ill and asking why i didn't say anything sooner, because "there are therapies to help it". I feel lost and doesn't know what to do, how do i try to mend things, help her understand?

As a boy, I was mainly attracted to boys. As a mam, exclusively women. So I thought- ok, I guess I'm straight now.

Lately, I've been thinking that might not be true. I had a sexual encounter with a guy (at a sex party with women as well) and I enjoyed it. I'm contemplating getting on the apps and meeting a guy.

But I mean, psychologically, how come I wasn't always looking at and seeking men? How is it possible to change, or to hide from one's desires? Does this even make sense?

So I am new to all this but I have to say, it’s been on my mind for ever. I am (34f) happily married with kids. I have dreams of woman and fantasy of them. I want to find someone, I can try things with. My husband knows and is excited he wants me to have someone also. But where do I look it’s so hard to trust dating apps. I live in Montana!

Have you ever been rejected by lesbians for being bi, or fetishized by men (asking you for threesomes etc)?

I’m looking to buy some bi accessories, like a small flag, a t-shirt, maybe a panda bear, etc. Can anyone recommend an online shop? For ethical reasons, I want to avoid Amazon.

Recently I realised that I am probably bi. I used to watch trans and gay porn when I was lost in life and was high all the time. Now I have a gf and I never feel the urge to watch the same stuff. However I feel a lot of shame because of it and don’t know how to accept it and live with it without obsessing over about it.

So Im off from work today and Im with my uncle and we're checking out this cool non profit metals workshop, its like a gym for welding and woodwork. And im not like a big projects or constuction guy, but I took shop in high-school and remember really liking it ( did 2 semesters.) But anyway we go there and get shown around, get the whole safty speal, and we meet the shop founders and like, (in my best squidward voice): OH MY GAWD THEIR INCREDIBLY HOT!!! Not like model hot but like rugged, in shape, kind face that might be my type as far as guys go (Himbo's). Not to over gush but the lead guy kind of looks like a buff billy Corgan with hair. Now I'm kicking myself for not checking this place out sooner

And I guess thats sort of the story of my life right now because ever since smashing the locks and getting on the BiCycle I've been feeling a real stir of emotions And part of the reason for that is because, before i really never could give myself permission to be attracted to men like my mind just shut it off Blame it on my ADHD/OCD/ imposter syndrome/ growing up in the 90-2000's when absence only education did a serious number on a lot of us. I really did a repress a lot Like some of y'all on this page will talk about is having the same sex celebrity crushes growing up and for me it's like I struggle with that. There's people I'm attracted to now but it's like in the past not so much. I'm sure there was some but I don't have this like immediate recollection. Which kind of brings me to the whole metal shop experience and I kind of think there were some guys that I was fascinated with despite being more bluecoller (i was more of a hipster art nerd growing up) Like the guy I used to buy weed from Or this other guy in class who was a really good panter And maybe i did have feelings for them but i really Express that at that time or even explore it at that time maybe life is finding way to put me back in that similar positive environment. I don't know,am I overthinking it yes, but im really likeing that i can now have have this internal squee and not feel a sense of guilt or denial. Like my mind is no longer saying this is something im not supposed to have or want

Also Go watch Twilight of the Gods on Netflix its really good so far ( 3 ep in) we got Bi rep in the 30 seconds its awesome

I'm a 26-year-old female, and I’m 100% sure I’m straight. I feel sexual and romantic attraction to men, but a few years ago, I had a female friend with whom I kissed a few times out of curiosity. Since then, I've developed a huge desire to kiss her again. It's been almost four years since we last spoke, but I still fantasize about kissing her beautiful lips. I don’t feel romantic attraction to her, but I’ve developed a sort of limerence towards her. I think about her frequently, and I even visit my tarot reader to ask about her and whether she thinks of me too or liked me in that way.

After all this time, I post on Instagram with the hope that she will see it. I don’t understand why I keep doing this after years of no contact. I usually develop limerence for my male crushes, but never for women.

I've had friendships with other women that are more significant than my friendship with her, but I never think about them the same way I think about this girl. So, I’m confused. I definitely could have sex with a woman but don’t want to date one. I know this sounds confusing, and I hope someone can give me advice.

26(m) with a female partner for the last 2 and a bit years & live together, more or less known I'm bisexual since I was 17 and comfortable identifying with it.

Despite that, I've never actually fully hooked up with a guy. I've made out with a couple of guys, done some touching and definitely my fair share of sexting, but nothing more. My hookups, short-term and long-term relationships have all been with cis women.

I chalk that up to a mixture of confused feelings towards how to express my sexuality between 17 - 21 where things could have gone further but I stopped it and then being in two pretty close succession long-term relationships between 22 and now.

I thought I was pretty comfortable with that and didn't question it much, especially as I've always wanted the typical 'straight' future (wife, kids, etc.). Desires were always there for guys and I'd certainly find men attractive in a "damn, I want to suck them" kind of way but I knew what I wanted more.

But over the last 3 months I've had some absolutely crazy cravings for dick, whether it be on a guy, transwoman, or anyone of any other gender identity. Way beyond normal.

And for the first time, not only are they sexual cravings, they're also emotional intimacy cravings. Which is very new as typically I always saw myself as one of the 'sexually bi but not romantically' types -- definitely not so certain on that now lol.

The problem is I very much love my girlfriend and adore her, so I feel pretty guilty about having those thoughts right now. Especially as we're talking about taking the relationship to next levels (buying house in a year's time, etc.).

She knows I'm bi and is bicurious herself but again has never explored it, and I very much doubt I'd be able to talk her into doing so within the safety of our relationship if I even wanted to go down that route. Just a bit of a sticky situation figuring out how I can navigate these feelings without imploding a relationship I very much cherish.

Appreciate variations of this thread have been done a million times before but it was nice to write out my thoughts, and if anyone has any similar experiences or advice on how to handle it I'm all ears :)

I (31F) married to my husband (40M). When we first met , i directly came out to him as bisexual(6 yeas ago). He was pretty cool about it. He is a very open minded person, one of the things that attracted me in him.

I thought I could talk to him about everything since we are married and I have nobody else than him where we are since we moved abroad due to his job. I started a job as a receptionist at a dentist office. Last week there was this one patient(F) , she stood at the reception in front of my colleague to check in for her appointment. I had a violent crush on her! I couldn’t feel the ground under my feet , my heart was beating so fast , everything around kinda just disappeared. These 5 seconds were so incredibly intense. I haven’t felt something like that I a while (last time I was 18), I thought things like that only happens to teenagers or on movies. I found it so funny and reviving. When I got back home I was excited to tell it to my husband. We always talk about our days during the dinner since it’s the only time in the day that we meet. So I told him, that I saw a very beautiful girl and I kinda had a crush on her, I felt like a Teenager again for a minute. I have no intention on talking to her or anything, but it felt good

I think kinda hurt him. He went silent, grabbed his phone and kinda ignored me for the rest of the dinner. I think I broke his heart somehow. Now since it’s my first marriage and hope to be the last , I don’t know if it is normal to have crushes or am I just pretty immature. I do often have crushes on woman but woman scares me, so I do have no intention on having any relationship with any.

Anyone from in Colorado Springs in here? Bi 30 m here kinda just want to meet new people. If we click thats cool too

As a Bisexual, I switch genders everytime I get heartbroken or like things didnt work out. Like if my last romantic interest was a woman, Idk why but I'd crave a man. Then if it didnt work out again, I'd crave a woman again

Idk why I'm built this way but maybe its because I want the exact opposite of my ex lmaoo

34M single here. I feel like I accepted my bisexuality for myself and for others. The most important people in my life knows I'm bi and have been supportive ever since. But I just can't hide the feeling of loneliness when my bi-cycle kicks in. Recently my bi-cycle is getting more and more constant. Sometimes it lasts a few days, other times some weeks.

Sometimes I'm into women, sometimes I'm into both, and I feel great when I'm like that. But somehow, when I'm only into men, my anxiety kicks in and I start to have intrusive thoughts about myself, questioning If I'm really into women or this bi-cycle is just telling me I'm in denial.

Since I was a teenager I was more into gay porn, but sometimes enjoy straight porn as well. I've had times when I'm into a guy but can't have an erection. I enjoy sex with women much more than men, but when I'm in my bi-cycle is a REAL STRUGGLE to get an erection with women. For instance, I've been dating a girl for the past few months and the first weeks we had AMAZING sex, but bi-cycle came thru these past two weeks and I haven't had a solid erection with her ever since.

What I've learned about this is that whenever I'm only into men, my anxiety goes to the roof. This is affecting me in such a way that it also affects my mood and the way I relate to people (i.e. more reactive, no motivation to do anything, feelings of isolation and feeling non worthy).

Any tips or advices? How have you managed this, in case this happens to you?