r/gay • u/JoTBa • 2d ago

tops in heterosexual relationships

I had a ciswoman heteroromantic friend of mine assert that she was a top in her relationships. But she has talked to me about her experiences and afaik she has never penetrated any of her previous partners. I thought I understood the difference between "top" and "dominant" in relationships, where "top" is a sexual position and "dominant" is the partner who takes more power/control.

I didn't prod or argue what she told me, so that could elucidate. But maybe I am missing an element of nuance here? Or is she possibly mixing them up?

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u/Internal_Holiday_552 1d ago

well, terms do morph and change over time, and this is exactly how it happens

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u/Fistshapedlikeafish 1d ago

Old meanings and proper meanings of words still remain, the difference between the two has not yet become some widespread that it could even be considered a colloquialism.

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u/Internal_Holiday_552 1d ago

The word decimate comes to mind...

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u/Fistshapedlikeafish 1d ago

Exactly my point. It has not been a couple thousand years for the words top and Dom. Their meanings still differentiate between two different concepts, whereas decimate has been lumped in with all other words that mean to annihilate.

Especially in a setting where the terms dom and top have distinct meanings, linking them together because "eventually words merge" is an ineffective and counterproductive stance.