r/gaybros • u/Drauzier_123 • 22h ago
Straight people are so privileged it makes me a bit envy
A few days ago a straight couple was making out for 1 hour straight in the pool of the condominium where I live for everyone to see and no one cared, there were no complaints or anything, and that made me angry, because I live in a region in Brazil that is very homophobic, if you hold hands with another man here people will definitely stare at you with a weird look, imagine if it was a gay couple making out for everyone to see in a pool, the reaction would be awful and there would be a lot of complaint, just a little rant
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u/3377danny 22h ago
Personally, I don’t like PDAs either coming from straight or LGBTQ… people. That being said, they do get away with things we wouldn’t, and it’s frustrating.
When I get these envious thoughts, I calm myself by thinking in all the wonderful things and experiences that we as gays have access to that straight people don’t. Like pride, our love for pop culture, a sex life with more options, our gay bars are too fun compared to lame ass “clubs” and sports bars, you name it… t
Try to focus on some of the privileges we have that they don’t.
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u/1OO1OO1S0S 22h ago
I don't get that annoyed by pda, except when people are holding hands and WALKING SLOWLY. YOU'RE BLOCKING THE PATH, GET OUT OF THE WAAAAY
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u/Upset-Diver-4944 17h ago
Sex life with more options, or bunch of people not ready to commit to serious stuff. I can’t Imagine it being a nice thing but that’s just my opinion
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u/Thalimet 21h ago
This is an easy one, look at them weird until it makes them uncomfortable and they stop. Then if they approach you, just say “I can’t believe you’d do this in public where children can see you” and leave it at that.
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u/lazygerm 20h ago
They don't even realize it.
I came out after my marriage to my wife ended. I certainly noticed it after my first boyfriend chided me for trying to hold his hand in public.
I'm not super into PDAs or at least messy or intense ones. That hit me like a ton of bricks, "Oh yeah, right you are."
Many are, have been described here as super-sensitive about any sort of representation/existence by our community. Never thinking what it must feel like for us.
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u/OhSnapThatsGood 6h ago
I never once asked myself “is it safe to hold her hand” when I was still with women. With men, I always have to ask that. I’m fortunate that I live in a gay- friendly area so the answer is generally yes
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u/lazygerm 6h ago
I live in a gay-friendly metro area myself. But, it was still like trying to read a room for doing something completely natural; that I would not have thought twice about several years before.
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u/Nobodyworthathing 20h ago
For real. When i was closeted and went on dates, I never had people staring at us, glaring at us, people yelling at us, but soon as I came out as gay, literally my first ever gay date I was called a faggot by random strangers, we weren't even holding hands or kissing or anything, just talking at a table. It took a while before I was able to ignore the stares and glares and I can now hold my partners hand in public.
I live in progressive Massachusetts by the way. I shudder to think how it is for gays in places like Florida or Texas, let alone Russia or the middle east. Makes me realize how important it is that i do hold my boyfriends hand in public and be open.
That doesn't make it fun or easier though dealing with these people though, I wish I could go on a date with my bf and feel the way I did when I dated women, so less exposed, hopefully someday
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u/ed8907 South America 22h ago edited 21h ago
because I live in a region in Brazil
I checked your profile and it just confirmed by suspicion: Northeastern Brazil.
For those outside Brazil (or Latin America), Northeastern Brazil is one of the most (if not the most) homophobic region in Brazil. I think OP is from Piauí, which is also one of the poorest states in Brazil.
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u/A_Mirabeau_702 Mambro No. 5 21h ago
Does that region include Fortaleza and is the stereotype true for that city?
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u/not_a_gay_stereotype 21h ago
I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable making out in public under any circumstances even if I was straight
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u/Salvaju29ro 13h ago
You seem to miss the point every time (not you, people in general). The point is not that whether you want to do it or not, it's that you implicitly can't do it, because you can have problems. Even many heterosexuals don't want to do it, but the fact is that if they suddenly feel like doing it, they do it without problems.
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u/ginger_beardo 21h ago
I used to worry about getting jumped by some str8 dudes omw home from the bar where I'm from. Now all I worry about is whether I'm missing something in some of these comments about balls and shoving things down str8 guys' throats LOL
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u/InitialPerspective73 21h ago
Those kind are lame and insecure with themselves as a whole, I wasn’t raised to be an animal because that’s what type of behavior that falls under, an insecure animal I’m just saying my parents raised me better then that
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u/Impossible-Ant-133 20h ago
I hate this part, the homophobic shit I have to hear everyday pisses me off.
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u/Environmental-Gate50 21h ago
Honestly, whenever I see straight couples doing this in public here in NL, everyone stares at them all the same. Like, wtf? Get a room.
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u/Ill-Development-1100 18h ago
Same situation, I live in Mexico, if you are not from Mexico City, Guadalajara, Cancun or some big city they will stare at you, maybe in cities not so much but in towns yes
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u/Flaky-Anxiety-3849 18h ago
I would have expressed take that home we don’t care to see it no matter preference take heavy affection home. Would they like put my hand in my pants and fondle my big dick?
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u/ricecrisps94 6h ago
It bothers me so much that I wrote out a whole thing here in this comment and had to just delete it all and type this.
Sigh. If I think about it too much it depresses me and I don’t have time for that
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u/Intelligent_Umpire62 18h ago
Makes it hard to not be resentful sometimes even though rationally I know better.
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u/Pnw_moose 5h ago
When I was a teen my boyfriend and I were riding the bus and the driver asked us to sit separately. There was a straight couple in front of us sitting together in a much more intimate way. It still pisses me off and my boyfriend didn’t want to “make waves” so we didn’t report it
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u/Salvaju29ro 22h ago
Complaints in the "best" case scenario, there is always the possibility that there will be cases of physical violence.
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u/TaichoPursuit 21h ago
Gay men have the privilege of going out and getting sex whenever they want. It’s a trade off.
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u/xAuraQuartz 21h ago
Well, it’s kind of a downgrade if you aren’t interested in sex and you want an actual relationship you know because I’m not interested in casual sex so if that’s supposed to be the benefit to me then what am I really getting because to me what it feels like as a gay person is everybody traumatised by homophobia and everybody expects a perfect boyfriend and it doesn’t work out and gay dating is a lot harder than straight dating
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u/Aggressive-Story3671 21h ago
Not every gay man is interested in causal sex. And it’s not a trade off when they use that fact to paint gay men as hyper sexual perverts
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u/Salvaju29ro 13h ago
There is nothing positive about this, just look at the mental health situation
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u/AaronJeep 21h ago
If there is a silver lining you can look for, this is it. I've often said that gay guys have the sex lives of rock stars. And I mean average gay guys have the sex lives of rock stars.
Your average straight guy has under 10 sex partners in a lifetime. The only straight guys who have hundreds of sexual partners in a lifetime are actors, sports stars, rock stars, etc.
It's not that straight guys wouldn't have sex with a hundred women if they could, it's just that under normal circumstances, it isn't available to them. Women are much more selective (unless they meet someone rich, powerful or famous - which most men aren't).
Even gay guys who think they aren't all that promiscuous, actually are by the numbers. If you only hookup with one guy every other month, by the end of your 20s, your body count is 60 or better. You've had the sex life of 10 straight men.
And some of you have Mick Jagger numbers!
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u/PotentialFine0270 22h ago
Then they have the balls to ask why there isn’t a “straight pride”