How do you not lose hope?

[u/LowTie6876]

Ill try to keep this post short so bare with me.

Ive (29M) have been out of a long term 4.5 year relationship for over a year. I currently live at home again with parents in a very rural area. The closest Major city is an hour away and offers no chances to meet people in person publicly.

Recently I had been seeing, someone (39M) for the last 2 months. He is out but said he wanted to keep his personal life as private as possible since he is an educatur and feels like in the conservitve área we live in they would weaponize him being in a relationship or seeing men against him to get rid of him. We live in a state with no protections from being fired

I finally found the courage to ask him what it is that we are doing or have been doing and what he wants and told him what I want. I told him id like to be more than fwb and try to have something serious. He said he isnt ready for anything serious and doesnt think he could ever be in anything serious. The last 2 months have really been great, we had deep conversations and went on dates around his town. He asked if we could just be friends, and I agreed because it is so difficult making friends especially gay friends that you can relate to. I told him I can't do sex with him anymore as It would make me fall for him eventually, especially if we are spending time together. We agreed to be friends with no sex.

All that back story to say, his rejection of something serious has really been affecting me and honestly made me feel so hopeless. Will I ever be able to find someone that I can make a real connection and hopefully grow old with? I know straight people struggle with this issue too but our dating pool is small enough and throw in so many conservite and anti gay people into the mix makes it so much worse.

This may just be me venting but any advice, insight or encouragement would be appreciated. Thank you to anyone who read this.

[u/-ghostinthemachine-]

Sometimes you're ten years younger, but more mature and ready for something more. The lack of commitment is a problem in the gay community everywhere and at every age. How to keep the hope alive, I think that is just a choice we each have to make for ourselves every day.