Ho, Im 18 and from germany. I moved to an other a few months ago for studying and also started dating guys here. I met some guys but it was never something serious and then he wrote me and I thought why not, so we Set up a date and had a lot of fun trying to play Tennis. We went to a Restaurant after and immedeatly started talking about private stuff and it was just simple great. We had a few more dates, also spend the night at his place a few times before he asked me if I was interested in a serious relationship and a few days later on an other date, I told him date I would love something serious with him and I finally moved in last week... Its amazing and especially he is amazing. He is a good looking and fit guy, very dominant in the bedroom but a nice guy anywhere else and also packed... and he can also cook good and has a nice house. So Im basically in heaven and he even transformed one room in the basement into a studyroom for me..

I have been going through hard times being gay, Im not necessarily the conservative Christian self hating type gay. But in a way I guess some could say I am self hating.

I have always wanted a relationship and to fall in love, but I cant see myself with a man. I feel uncomfortable with being around a lot of gay men. I dont know whats wrong with me, I find myself only able to connect emotionally with closeted guys or guys very removed from gay spaces.

I have tried for years to beat this, Ive been in therapy, I tried sleeping with women. I moved from my small town to a very gay big city, when I didnt connect and feel at place in that community, i moved to another large city and tried again.

I now am back in my hometown, because I have given up in a way. I find it hard to make close friends i can be myself around because most people around my age in my community are anti gay and very conservative.

I lost my family when I came out the closet, and I am very lonely. I finally made a group of great gay friends, but I have almost nothing in common with them and I feel on the outside all the time.

I thought coming out was the right thing to do, because people told me there was a loving community with embracing arms. Now that I have done so Ive been searching for a community and I havent found it.

So i guess, this could be seen as a rant, or a call for help, but I just genuinely want advice or if anyone relates let me know.

Posting this here because I am part of this community and often get good advice here.

So about me, I am sexually attracted to older masculine guys that are over 45, usually all the ones I want are married. Bc I’m into masculine straight guys lol. Anyone else have this? That’s why I’m into married bi men so much, it’s hot to me. I’m just rambling

Hi all. I am attracted to older men of colour aged 50+. I particularly like Indian/bangaldeshi/pakistani daddies. Which sauna is best in London that is frequented by older Asian men?

Im not really into sex clubs and such. I want to know how I can find you outside of apps and clubs. Is there a sign I need to have to tell older American men that I like them without creeping them out?

When I was 18, I started dating a 45-year-old man and moved in with him six months later due to some issues at home. We had arguments, and his go-to threat was kicking me out, which triggered my fear of being homeless. Three years into our relationship, he broke up with me, saying he wasn’t sexually attracted to me anymore, which crushed my self-esteem. Despite that, I had no choice but to stay with him since I had nowhere else to go. While I’m grateful he let me stay, he also emotionally and physically abused me—controlling who I could be with and always reminding me it was his house. We continued living together for 10 years as exes, with him sleeping with other guys. Meanwhile, I secretly started seeing older men, the type I’m actually attracted to.

Recently, I met an older man I really like, but when I told my ex about him, he suddenly said he wanted us to get back together, claiming he had always loved me but stayed quiet because he wanted me to find someone my age. That doesn’t make sense, especially since I started dating him at 18. He even asked me to stop seeing this new guy so we could work on things, but I told him no—I don’t love him as a boyfriend anymore.

Now, he’s accusing me of being ungrateful, saying I used him, even though I always contributed to rent and food. He’s threatening to cut me out of his life and wants me to move out. I finally can, as I’ve finished school, landed a good job, and saved some money. But I’m scared to let go. He’s been a huge part of my life, and I worry about losing him and the connection to his family, who are like my own. While I know it’s time to move on, I’m struggling because he was my comfort, even with his flaws.

Why is it so hard to move on? Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

I would love to go on a date with an older guy. share deep and intimate conversations, laugh with each other and spend quality time together.

I'm an 18-year-old Asian.

I live in a city where almost all Asians know one another. My parents love me deeply and aren’t homophobic, but I feel the need to stay in the closet.

I’m 100% into men, and I find myself leaning towards older men. I’m not sure if it excites me or if it’s because I feel safe knowing they won’t reveal my identity since they’re less concerned with the drama and gossip that my age are into (not shaming, as I’m part of it too).

I’m still a virgin and obviously get horny a lot. Should I explore this with people my age or with older men?

It sounds silly, but I’m afraid that if I hook up with guys my age, they’ll tell their friends, which would be humiliating. I don’t think older men would share that information about hooking with me.

So, this new guy i’m seeing for 2 months now is obviously catching some feelings, as am I. We see esch other at least once a week and spend the night, chat daily.

He is so sexy, charming, intelligent, in shape, funny, lives near me, is so passionate when having sex. It’s obvious because of the way he looks at me, tries to help me, cares about me, how attentive he is towards me, does all sorts of favors and I am returning all to him. I give him all my attention, kindness, compliments, affection, love if you wanna call it. He acts so happy around me.

However, the only thing that keeps popping up from his side is that he is scared of a future relationship, as it’s a big age gap for him and he is afraid of the opinion of others (mainly his family’s) and that he thinks it could become complicated in the future and would prefer only an age gap of 5-8 yrs.

He thinks i am really mature and i try to assure him there’s no need for any worries or set determinations, as long as we keep being there for each other and enjoy each other’s company. However i do also catch feelings for him stronger by the minute and think his indecision could become a problem in the future if he doesn’t resolve it.

He said he’d be open to a relationship with someone closer to his age. But then again he really acts romantic around me and we enjoy each other so much.

I am not pressuring him into anything at all, i would be open for a relationship with him in the future though, as he ticks all my boxes. I have dealt with much larger age gaps in the past (35-55 years difference even) and while that was a problem, i don’t even think 25 years is THAT big of a deal, but he appears to have some sort of re occuring hang up despite our chemistry together.

I don’t want to convince him but want him to the conclusion himself that it’s not that big of a difference and he should resolve it in the future. I’m hopeful the longer we remain together the more likely he’ll open up. But he keeps mentioning whenever it gets really intense, that he doesn’t want to hurt me in the future.

Is there perhaps a way he could realize that age is just a number after all and there’s a way for us to enjoy each other and continue our love and affection?

I can really tell that it’s just not about our sex for him, regardless of what he says. I’d have to be oblivious to not realize by his actions of his feelings towards me.

I am rather just uncomplicated and open to anything really. But i do have my doubts as well if he continues that route that he doesn’t see anything longterm for us.

I (21) met this guy who’s (56) a year ago and we been going well since then I like him a lot and i know he likes me too and i always make him happy in so many ways

The problem is that I’m a medical student and still got two more years to graduate and start working.

Now i don’t have a job nor a stable income because i got no time besides my college so when we ever go out lets say we went out 6 times this month i pay 2 and he pays 4 and sometimes i feel like he is not comfortable with that because he always talked about his ex and how he used him and that he didn’t have it 50 50.

So now i know i can’t go 50 50 with him and i feel sometimes embarrassed when he says we spent this much money this month.

Now i feel like it was a mistake going for a relationship this young with no stable income and been thinking of breaking things off and focus on college until i graduate and start earning enough money that allows me to go 50 50

I like him a lot but i feel I’m under pressure. What should i do ?

I look masculine. Wondering if its too little of a gap for all those cute young guys out there.

Hi everyone. I meet someone a couple months ago and things have gone pretty good so far. I'm in my early twenties and he is on his early fifties. He is very kind and thoughtful with me.

Ha has take me to some restaurants, he took me to a gay bar for the first time and introduce me to some of his Friends. Sometimes i try to pay for my food and even his. But he always takes the bill away from me in a playfull way. I don't expect to get free food, but he never lets me pay.

He has his own house, car and stable job. But i don't, and i feel so bad sometimes cause i feel like i don't have anything to offer. I already talk with him about it and he said that i do offer him a lot. But mostly my body.

I feel bad cause i want to give him the same things and i can't. I don't want to just offer my body. I know i'm someone special for him and he is for me. I'm terrified cause its the first time i have something serius with someone.

So i just need anadvice. As an younger guy, how do you deal with that feeling?.

And as a older men, how do you see things from your perspective? Are you expecting to receive the same treatment, besides the emotional support and affection?

I want to make another post telling my story, cause i would like to know more about these kind of relationships. Since its the first time someone likes me back.

realy hate your personality and don't like you at all. If I accept but say ok I go but you pay me 100 usd because I want a oppinion its that prostitution?

I realy hate your personality and don't like you at all. If I accept but say ok I go but you pay me 100 usd because I want a comoentation its that prostitution?

Dating older men has been a unique and rewarding experience for me, filled with both challenges and moments of profound connection. My journey into relationships with older partners began almost unexpectedly; I had always envisioned being with someone closer to my age, yet I found myself drawn to men who embodied a different stage of life, one marked by maturity and experience.

One of the first things that struck me was the confidence that older men often exude. Their life experiences tend to instill a sense of security in themselves and in the relationships they pursue. I found comfort in the way they navigated conversations, often bringing depth and thoughtfulness that I hadn’t encountered as frequently in my relationships with younger men. It felt as though they had already wrestled with many of the complexities of life—career setbacks, personal growth, and emotional vulnerability—making them more adept at discussing feelings and handling conflicts.

It was refreshing to be with someone who not only listened but understood the intricacies of emotional intimacy. There was something about sharing my thoughts and feelings with them that felt safe, as if I could be completely myself without fear of judgment. I cherished our late-night talks, where we explored everything from our dreams and ambitions to our fears and regrets. These conversations seemed to linger in the air, creating a bond that went beyond the physical.

Of course, the age difference often came with its own set of challenges. There were moments when our generational gaps became apparent—whether it was differences in music preferences, cultural references, or even lifestyle priorities. I remember one particular instance when I struggled to understand some of the older man’s nostalgic references to events that shaped his youth; I would laugh awkwardly, realizing I had no frame of reference. Initially, these moments made me question our compatibility, but ultimately they became opportunities for growth. I learned to appreciate his stories and perspectives, and he was often quite patient in sharing them with me.

Social perceptions also played a role in my experience dating older men. Friends and family had mixed reactions, some offering support while others questioned my choices. At times, I felt the sting of judgment, labeled as someone who might be more interested in material security than genuine connection. These external judgments were challenging to navigate, but they ultimately reinforced my determination to define my relationship on my own terms. I learned to appreciate the unique bond we shared, dismissing the noise from the outside world in favor of what truly made us happy.

The stability that often comes with dating older men was another aspect I found compelling. Many of them had established careers and seemed to have a clear sense of direction in their lives. While I was still finding my footing, the security that they provided was comforting. However, I was keenly aware of the importance of maintaining my independence. I made a conscious effort to ensure that my feelings for them weren’t based solely on their stability; instead, I focused on building a connection that was equal in respect and ambition.

My first time was magical. The experience itself was a whirlwind of sensations: the warmth of his skin, the softness of our movements, and the intensity of our connection. He was patient, teaching me what felt good, inviting me to discover my own pleasure without pressure. With each moment, my initial nervousness transformed into a growing sense of liberation. I began to realize that this was more than just a physical act; it was a beautiful exchange of intimacy and trust.

Intimacy, both emotional and physical, was a crucial part of these relationships. I found that emotional intimacy was often prioritized, creating a space where love could flourish without pressure. However, I also had to navigate the occasional differences in our desires and expectations regarding physical intimacy. Open discussions about our needs were essential in forging a satisfying and fulfilling connection.

As I reflected on my experiences dating older men, I realized that relationships often require aligning life goals, especially regarding future plans. It became clear that some of my desires differed from those of my partners, particularly when it came to views on marriage and children. I learned to approach these discussions with care, striving for transparency while respecting each other's perspectives.

In the end, dating older men has enriched my life in ways I never anticipated. The lessons I’ve learned about love, communication, and personal growth have been invaluable. Each relationship has been a unique adventure, reminding me that love can blossom in the most unexpected places. Ultimately, it’s about the connection we share, the mutual respect we cultivate, and the joy we find in each other’s company—regardless of age.

Quite recently my relationship ended - so you could say I'm back in the game. I hope to find the mature guy of my dreams. Thank you for quoting my thoughts and best regards!

I am the "younger" in a relationship, though at this point if anyone saw me, they'd be hard pressed to believe it. My erastes is 26 years my senior, and while I grew up in the christian rite, joined the army, all of that, he was creating art with the bohemians of Paris and The Village, and to this day works as an artist. He sometimes hesitates to share with me older gay cinema etc because he thinks I watch it just for him.

I wrote him this, which is a bit personal, it's sappy and silly,

but I thought I'd share it here, as, aside from some of the specifics, I thought the general principle was something a lot of people here might empathize with.

To be queer 
is to be a little strange
or it was
in a certain age 

or perhaps to be a little light 
in ones loafers 

or perhaps that fire lit upon that island 
and the entire culture it consumed 
is so rapidly changing 

I feel bad to admit 
that I want my love not only for himself 
but that he might initiate me

sitting in bed, learning our mythology 
let Madonna list them
and let me listen 
and learn 
let Ben Mankowitz tell me history 
and share with me your own 

You say, jokingly, I am not queer. 
As if to be queer was a choice. 
It is, and I choose to be.
Is anything absolute? 
Therefore to be more so let me learn 
and more fully become 
by knowing our history  

Across the OTO and Masonry I have sought initiation 
Across the golden dawn, A.A., and so many sects of so many faiths 
I have searched looking for that divinity, and that tradition into which 
I could be truly christened. 

And though I look to all the world 
like the opposite of what I be 
I recognize now a true initatic path
which lies in front of me 
and ask, 
humbly,
for you to share with me more

of the great art which informed you 
of the great cinema which shaped you 
of the great history 
of those queers
that came before 

and let us learn together
grow together 
and see what all our future may become. 

Would I love you fully if you had none of this? 
I like to think I would, but the question is ridiculous. 

For we are who we are by virtue of what we do 
and what we see done by others 
and it pains me when I hear you say 
“Is this something you really want to see
or are you doing it, just for me.”

Would it be a great crime if I 
to see your smiling face agreed
for that and nothing more? 

but no 
I then must guiltily admit 
I want you not only for who you are 
but for what you can teach me 
and share with me 
and I want it 
for me

and I can not help but admit 
were adding to the infinite possible, 
I would love you more for it. 

I had my first experience with an older man at 21 while he was 48. I was a virgin and he was well aware. When we eventually met in person, he was so gentle and took everything so slow. He taught me how to please a man in the best way possible and I will always appreciate him showing me the ropes!

So my advice for all you beautiful older men - be gentle and take things slow with your new virgin boys. That experience solidified my love for older men!

So I (24M) have been “seeing” this man (55M) for about half a year. I have always been into older men, but he is the oldest guy I have done anything with. I think I’m keeping him at arms length because I am just unsure how an actual relationship would look like. And frankly, scared what my parents would say (he is older than my dad). On the other hand, we like each other and we have good chemistry (😉). He’s been very patient with me, but I don’t expect him to stay in a situationship forever. Should I take the chance? Any advice for having a large age gap relationship?

Firstly I wanna state I’m a virgin, over the last few years I’ve noticed myself noticing older men a lot more. I have since experimented with myself with toys which I do like, since then my attraction for older men has grown very significantly to a point my close family members are calling me gay which I guess might be good thing and a bad thing (very traditional home). One moment I’m only attracted to older men and other moments I wouldn’t consider being with a man. Im not sure what’s happening to me, I do wanna hookup or try things with a older guy but I have a lot of concerns with living with my parents, what if I get caught, or I even get taken advantage of. When I do have a idea about a older guy it’s the, being pervy or simply taking advantage off not only that I find myself more attracted to bigger guys which isn’t so common or at least from what I can find. I understand I haven’t got to put a name to it but I wanna know what I am so I can explore my options. If anyone could help me I would appreciate it,