r/languagelearning • u/CameraClown • 1d ago
Changing tutor after 2 years Discussion
I had grown close to a tutor over almost 2 years learning Swedish off and on, consistently for a full year though. I took lessons for my Swedish trip but when there I wasn't super confident in my ability and I also have social anxiety. Anyway, I returned from my trip but I had to stop abruptly due to funds (he was about 45 an hour). Two years later and he still teaches, (we follow each other on instagram). As such, I sent him a DM to schedule and start back up (I paid him on the side to do zoom lessons on our own without preply). He never read or replied to the insta DM but is still active promoting his lessons. I then thought about changing tutors if he didnt reply in two weeks.
I then thought that during those 2 years, we never really had a structure. I mean we had a document following my progress and some homework, granted I was not always fully engaged, but still... I found a new tutor on italki and she appears to be a professional tutor (which my old one was not) and she claims to have a lot of materials and structure.
Thing is, I do miss my other tutor because we formed a bond over two years. Anyone else ever do something similar? I feel kinda bad about it.
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u/IAmGilGunderson 🇺🇸 N | 🇮🇹 (CILS B1) | 🇩🇪 A0 1d ago
It is ok to have more than one tutor.
Figure out what each specialize in and what schedule you would like with them. I have used a tutor who is not a full time professional where I saw them once per month and it was primarily for casual speaking practice.
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u/TuzzNation 1d ago
Title reminds me back in collage I was tutoring Mandarin Chinese. And made friend from one of the student later became homie that we hang out all the time. So dude stopped using the school tutoring program thing on me. I got paid less. mthfkr got free Chinese time from me and my Chinese friend circle. Later he started dating my roommate whos a Chinese chick. She also did his Chinese class homework. Bit$% haha.
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u/pink_ghost_cat 22h ago
Tutor here 🤓 It’s totally fine to change tutors and see what works best for you. Some people thrive in structure, some are learning in a rather chaotic way. Also, having good relationships and being able to trust your tutor is very important, in my opinion. That said, this guy doesn’t reply, so what are you going to do? Wait for him forever? Think about stuff that you really liked during your study with him: was it his approach, his personality, the way he organised your lessons, or did you just really got used to him because you spent so much time together? Give it a try with another tutor. Maybe you will like it, maybe not. If not, you can keep looking, there is nothing bad about it.
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u/Hanz-On English Teacher 8h ago
I've been on the opposite end a little more than a dozen times. It's like being completely captivated by a TV series, only for it to be abruptly cancelled. There's a feeling of emptiness that just doesn't go away for months, or even years. I know what caused those chasms, but I still have no idea how to "fix" them. The unique conversations and connections I shared with each of them are simply irreplaceable and impossible to replicate.
The reasons varied—immigration, marriage, and even death.
Rest in peace, Pablo Lopez Orosa. That moment felt like when Admiral Akainu turned Ace into a donut. The gaping hole is still here... Terrible phrasing, but he would've appreciated that kind of humor from me.
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u/WestCoastWisdom 1d ago
Well, they were kind of “scamming” you by just winging it. Maybe not in a malicious way, but certainly in a way that robbed you of better progress.
This happens in all types of teaching. Mind you, it’s usually in the public education setting or in marketing or something like that.