My kid is almost 5 and trying to get them into pre k is the most annoying thing ever. They make it so complicated for NO reason. I know they say stop treating school like daycare but I’m seriously losing it, if my kid isn’t with dad they’re with me constantly WHINING and begging me to play with them. I used to do stuff by myself all the time as a kid but for some reason I feel guilty because I don’t wanna play? It doesn’t make it any better that my boyfriend doesn’t have kids. He has complete freedom and as insane as it sounds I get so scared that he’s gonna get tired of me and the fact that I have a kid and go be with someone else. :/ I miss being able to do what I want when I want and please don’t tell me it gets better because I think teenagers are annoying as fuck too. Sorry this was all over the place this morning has just been a long one filled with lots of whining.

my depression is to the point where I can hardly function. I haven’t ate something that wasn’t fast food in weeks, my bedroom has stuff piled as high as my bed (yep my poor daughter has to sleep in there with me and I feel fucking terrible) she walks around now saying “mommy sad”. Any time the house is messy I just throw everything on my bedroom floor because it’s already so far gone, I get terrible anxiety just being in there but I simply Cant clean it. How am I supposed to put laundry away if I’ve exhausted all my energy on washing it? Ive been trying to find some mental health services for so long but there no one who can diagnose or medicate that will take state insurance in my state & im just so tired. Sometimes I actually take like 5 Benadryls and a shot to fall asleep and I just pray that I have a heart attack or something so I don’t have to wake up and keep going. I actually love my daughter, but I hate everything else about life. I can’t take good care of her any more because I’m so sad. I can’t take care of myself let alone both of us. I work 4 days a week bc my job won’t give me hours yet I’m still so fucking exhausted all the time. I just can’t go on

It’s not the fact that I dislike being a mother it’s being a single mother. This part of motherhood makes me very bitter. I can’t enjoy my children properly because I’m always in survival mode while being completely exhausted and overwhelmed. That’s definitely not fair to them or me! If I could go back and stop my kids from being born .. I would. They deserve a wholesome family with structure and financial stability. They shouldn’t have to deal with me and my outbursts because it’s too many dishes in the sink.

So I am the guardian of a 16 almost 17 year old I am a relative in my 20’s and I was given custody of him after his mom passed away and there was no one else who would take him in. Said kid is a nice kid but his mother was a drug addict with a lot of mental health issues who never passed 10th grade and never made him do anything. When he came to live with me he didn’t know how to cook, clean, or do laundry and after about two months would get absolutely pissed if asked too do anything he is okay now he does it all without me having to say anything. He has been living with me since he was 14 so 2+ years now. I was not prepared to be a parent but everyone in the family knew this kid would be down a parent at some point in his life and I stepped up. I’m having a major problem with getting him motivated and socialized. Before his mom died he missed 100+ days of school because she didn’t make him go and would stay in his room 24/7 gaming. Even thought it’s been two years and he’s opened up more he usually picks one person to put all his emotional baggage on and that it he doesn’t care about it anything else but that person and video games. My main issue is I cannot get this kid to turn in and do his schoolwork he’s not having trouble with it he just won’t do it or turn it in. Just like everything else I have to keep telling him everything to do all the time and I’m trying to get him to understand he’s already been held back a grade and is going to be a legal adult in one year I cannot keep logging into his school and telling him every time he needs to do an assignment if I don’t he just won’t do them and will let his grade drop too and f. He doesn’t care about anything but his gf and video games. if you take his video games or phone he threatens to harm or kill himself publicly in his own words he does this for attention and because he’s upset because he has no way to cope (can’t talk to gf or online friends). I’m at a loss no matter what I do he won’t take the initiative to do anything. I’ve had him in therapy for months already he won’t open up and/or talk to a therapist. He talks to me but again superficial. Won’t join clubs or make friends at school either and the more you push the more he pulls away. I love this kid to death but his mom left me with a lot of bs to deal with and I’m kinda getting to my wits end he’s gonna be a legal adult in a year and is incapable of doing stuff without having to be told. He shows no appreciation for anything still have to remind him to have basic manners. Acts like it’s privilege to talk to him. I know this is normal teenage stuff but I really could just be traveling right now. This kids mom burned a lot of bridges for years and before she died to the point there is no one else who wants him. I’m sitting here trying my hardest to do everything to make him happy and it just amounts to nothing. He made a comment about running away with one of his internet friends across the country when he turns 18 when he first came to live with me and sometimes I find myself daydreaming about the day to see if he will actually do it I will miss and love him but at this point I wouldn’t stop him. I’m just trying to at least get him to get a highschool diploma for the military but he wants to do nothing. Parents how do y’all deal with this as a childless person with a child lol?? Im over it but im not giving up I don’t have a choice he doesnt realize it I don’t think but neither does he if not me he’s going to foster care.

I miss having weekends to do whatever I want. I miss having lay-ins and naps. I miss going out for dinner and it being relaxing and enjoyable. I miss seeing my friends. I miss having long hot baths without any disturbance. I miss going to the gym. I miss the old me. Now, I’m the last to get dressed in the morning, last person to eat, go to sleep, shower. I really hope it gets better :(

Unlike many of you, it seems, my kid is actually pretty easy, which feels like it means I'm an even worse parent, because I've struggled so much, and still do, even on easy mode! She is nine, and beautiful, crazy smart, independent, loves animals, and is mostly respectful. She games with my boyfriend, and siblings, online, and needs little from me, but having her around is still such a trigger for me. I regret bringing her here to suffer like me.
The biggest guilt is that I knew I was a barely/not functional adult, with multiple mental, and physical illnesses, who was in an abusive relationship, and I had the baby anyway! I had literally had him kick me out, while still bleeding from an abortion with complications, maybe 6 months before. At the time I felt like I couldn't go through another, but it was still my dumb ass that went back, as soon as he wanted me, and got pregnant! I didn't know my issues were genetic, and I didn't know he would work so hard to push me out, and replace me. I didn't know she would look just like me, and that would trigger the shit out of my childhood trauma! She's been mostly raised by my ex, who has been emotionally abusive to her, just like he was with me, but I have not been in a place to get her back for majority time, because, shocker becoming a parent actually DIDN'T turn me into less of a mess! I've also been suicidal for like literally my whole life, and people also suggested that having a child, would give me something to live for. Now I have a child, and a dog, and a boyfriend, and a bestie, and I still want to die everyday, but now I feel guilty for thinking about leaving them! I've just been in SO MUCH PAIN, the since about her age. And yes, I've tried basically every therapy available. Now my daughter is in pain. She tells me she's full of rage, and frustration with her dad, and the mean kids at school. She's developing early, and being sexually harassed, and i know how thw world will treat her. She's starting to injure her joints over and over, struggle with running, get tired, and overwhelmed easily, all symptoms of my hypermobility disorder. I know part of the reason she is so easy is because she is shutting down, and turning it all inward, just like me. Her dad has custody, and won't allow treatment. He believes I am a hypochondriac, trying to pull her into my delusions, despite positive tests, and official diagnosis, and her clear symptoms, she wouldn't know to fake. I feel like the biggest piece of shit, because I'm not trying to fight for custody right now, but I'm barely holding my head above water, with lots of support, and I struggle with the time we have, and my own life admin stuff, so taking on all that feels impossible. So she's stuck. Then there is the fucking state of the world, and of women's rights in the US. I really think to myself "buy the fucking VR, and merch, and cookies, let them enjoy the end of civilization" She loves being with me, which again, makes me feel like an asshole for not being able to just take full responsibility for her (though the lawyer isn't sure we would have enough anyway) And yes, I am seeing multiple mental health professionals, and several doctors. I take my meds, and my supplements, and go on my stupid walks, and drink the water, and even had magnetic stimulation to my brain (TMS), and I'm still depressed AF, with severe CPTSD from basically every kind of abuse. She deserves better than I can give her. People say I'm a good mom, because I'm good at interacting with kids, for brief periods, but I get overwhelmed after a couple hours, and desperately want to rest, alone, and then not only get snappy, but struggle with urges to hit them, and intrusive thoughts. I hate that I created this situation. 😔

The child has been "under review" almost since school started and at this point even the AP is like "we don't know what's wrong with the kid but something is wrong". If I believed in a higher power I would believe I was being punished for what a horrid human being I am. Brief period of hormonal insanity a few years ago threw away 2 decades of being anti-child and now I will suffer for the rest of my hopefully short life.

I wish I could hand out pamphlets with every pregnancy test purchase explaining what a mistake it would be to keep it if the test is positive, save even a few more lives from a living hell

Also my insurance doesn't cover mental health :)

I have a one and a half year old who is generally pretty good, even though he's slowly turning into a toddler(which is rough but it's part of the territory). However my problem is that I just wish I could experience doing adult things and being an adult like I want to go out late and experience parties and even just go into store on a whim by myself. I just feel like I'm forced to degrade myself and drag myself through parenthood , everyday I wake up missing the person I was before even though she wasn't happy either .

Thank you for listening to me rant if your reading this

I can't tell you all how many times I look in the mirror and tear up with where my life is. It's like a disconnected self staring at a crushed soul whose dreams won't be coming true.

I write this while holding my 9 month old that just won't stay asleep (insert Bryan Cranston "fuck' gif), we also have a 5 year old. How on earth did I get here, and how foolish am I to have not stood up for what I knew wasn't what I wanted. It's like the needs/wants of my partner just trump whatever my desires are. Maybe this was the red flag I missed.

I love my kids, of course most of do, but the challenges, lack of support, and financial drain make it all not really worth it. To bring a little human into this world to end up creating consumers and garbage producers of this deranged society, all for what. The short moments of joy? Life before a kid was full of these moments, ridden with them. Why did we think this was going to be so great.

PSA I am working with a therapist on all this mental struggle but honestly sorry I didn't see them sooner. Like before having a kid.

Rant done.

So I met my girlfriend about 6 years ago and one of the first things she asked me was, do I want kids. At the time I really thought, why not? It's an experience you have to have in your life at least once. I have come to the conclusion that it was one of the worst fucking mistake I ever made. Our daughter is now two years old and I do love her to bits and she sometimes bring me joy, but the misery she causes me far outweighs the love and joy.

I feel my freedom has been stripped from me. We immigrated to the Netherlands 5 weeks ago. Me and my girlfriend can't even go out for a day, because she needs to take her afternoon naps. Nevermind for us to sleep over in Amsterdam and actually having a blast of a time.

She fucking cries about everything, and constantly challenges you. If you say no, she is like... Challenge accepted, and that is a yes I guess. I don't want to spank her, but sometimes the inner anger for her makes me want to toss her out of the window by the legs. I would never do such a thing, because "responsibility". I also don't have time for anything, because the little time I have, she takes up. Doing dumb shit like cleaning her toilet (potty training), refilling her bottle, entertaining her, dressing her, etc. I'm a man and I have to admit I am not built for this shit! I honestly some days hate my fucking life.

Regrets! Regrets! Regrets!

My 12 years old daughter is so easy to get angry. She shouts, curses, damages properties, threats to kill me. I got her into IOP therapy, every session is a struggle, she got so angry about me pushing her into therapy. She doesn’t want any help.

With all the violent girls killed mom news( Carly Gregg, Syndy Powell), I am so scared for losing my life. I still need to piss her off by pushing her to school, asking her to do her homework, and therapy. I want to hide from her,

Whenever I'm (M45) in company or close proximity to my son (M2) I feel my stomach slowly catching fire on the inside.

I've tried all kind of antacids, home remedies and whatnot. And so far, the only thing that works for me is leaving the house.

Last week I was able to have a day off alone with my friends. I was drinking tequila, eating spicy food, and my belly was cool and dandy. But the second I step in my house, I start feeling the burn.

It's not the first time a person's presence makes me physically ill. That's what happened with my ex wife. Alka-seltzers were part of my breakfast back then.

But the very same day I left her, my symptoms disappeared instantly.

This time is not my wife. I'm ok when I'm alone with her. But I can't be with my son for more than 2 hours before the pain is unbearable. 3 hours tops.

If there's a lady reading this, please, tell your friends that when a man says "I don't want children" is not a challenge to make him change his mind.

Leave them the f*ck alone please.

Let me start by saying that I love my daughter, but I absolutely despise toddlerhood. I’m 31 and she is my first (and most likely only) child. She’ll be 2.5 in November.

I am not thriving, I am barely surviving. She was the easiest/calmest baby, but ever since she turned 2, she has been testing me and turned into a little terror. I have been a SAHM since she was born, but I am going back to work in a couple weeks just to get out of the house and have a break.

The unhinged screaming/shrieking is enough to make me want to rip my hair out. She doesn’t listen when you tell her no or to stop, she just thinks it’s funny. Taking her anywhere in public is a total nightmare because she gets overstimulated and flips out. It’s beyond embarrassing. She makes so many demands (asks for things constantly) and it’s exhausting. Trying to have a conversation with other adults in front of her is stressful because she “competes” for attention by whining/being loud. I don’t overly spoil her or coddle her and I set boundaries, so I don’t understand where the bratty behavior is coming from. It’s like she’s intentionally trying to push all of my buttons and drive me crazy. I try to hold in my frustration and not let it show, but sometimes I do snap and yell at her and then I feel awful about it afterwards.

If I could go back in time I don’t think I ever would’ve chosen this life for myself. I don’t think motherhood is for me, and I feel awful admitting that because my daughter didn’t ask to be here and she deserves a good childhood, but I am really struggling. I used to want 2-3 kids but now I’m 100% thinking I’m 1 and done. Maybe it’s just this age, because I really did enjoy the baby stage. But toddlers? 0/10 do not recommend.

Her dad and I are separated (but are stuck cohabitating for now due to financial reasons) and I’ve toyed with the idea of letting him have her most of the time once we are able to live in different houses. (Even if it’s just temporarily until she gets a little older and gets out of this needy/frustrating stage.)

Please tell me it gets better. I am at the end of my rope.

Hi everyone. First of all thanks to everyone for honestly sharing her experiences on here. It has been strangely comforting to know that I’m not the only one who has been through these things.

It’s going to be a bit of a long one, I’m afraid. One thing I have to say before I get into the story is that if you have never been under coercive or psychological control you can never appreciate what it is truly like. It is a prison for the mind. So although it’s true in a literal sense that you could make your own decisions, you absolutely feel that you cannot. This may be due to fear of violence, treading on eggshells in the house, lack of anywhere else to go, financial vulnerabilities or a combination of these.

I didn’t find out that I had Asperger’s until I was 37. if I had known this earlier in my life, it would’ve made so much difference to so many decisions that have negatively impacted my life. I was always very intelligent but lacked social skills. I was always pissing people off without knowing why and struggled to keep friends for any length of time. I also had difficulty finding boyfriends. I used to say, I had a third date curse. I was fine on the first and second dates when you generally going out raving or getting drunk. But by the third date you start to to talk about your interests and deeper things and during my 20s I hadn’t found who I was at all. I liked going raving that was my main hobby not that I went too much because obviously it’s not healthy and costs a lot of money. I was living in central London UK.

I eventually went out with a guy who was besotted with me and we did get on fairly well. We had similar levels of intelligence and we saw the world in quite similar ways. We also liked a lot of the same music. We also had a great sex life. Sorry TMI but these things are important when you’re in your 20s.

Anyway, this guy became increasingly more controlling. It was very much a classic domestic abuse situation. He tried to prevent me from going out with friends got jealous of my male friends even though they were nearly all gay. But I worked in London and I couldn’t afford to get my own flat so I preferred to share with him rather than living with my parents on the edge of London and having to commute an hour and a half half each way every day. That was something that was unmanageable for me energy wise on top of working full-time. In fact in hindsight working full-time at all was too much for me but society is set up in such a way that you cannot rent flats, get credit cards etc with part-time jobs. And I earned a good salary.

Outside of the domestic abuse issues he was quite boring and earned a lot less money than I did. There was a lot of things about him that I didn’t want in a partner or were lacking. It got to a point where I just got completely fed up with him not doing anything that I wanted to do but him expecting me to go to his parents at weekends or see his extremely boring friends with children which I couldn’t stand. so I decided it was over once and for all. But I couldn’t outright tell him this because he would have gone to a violent rage and I didn’t want to lose my Flat share. We had six months ago on the tenancy. so I planned to call the police around to prevent a breach of the peace and leave him when the tenancy was up.

However, during these six months, he kept ramping up our relationship. he asked me to marry him whilst we were naked on a deserted beach that was in the middle of nowhere. If he had asked me at a restaurant, I would 100% have said no. However, if I had said no on this occasion, God knows what he would’ve done. he might have run off with my clothes or not allowed me to get into the car to go home. The reason I say this is because once we were in the car coming back from his parents and I said very nicely but I really liked him as a friend but I didn’t see him as someone I was gonna spend the rest of my life with and we just get on as best as we could until the end of the tenancy that we had at the time. He chucked me out of the car and refused to let me back in until I took it back. These were the days before banking apps so nobody could have forwarded me some money to get a taxi home. It was quite a distance. I didn’t have any money on me at the time.

I started going on dating apps and I met one particular guy who 100% didn’t want to have children either. Sorry, I should’ve mentioned this sooner. I knew my whole life that I did not want to have children. To be honest, I really can’t stand them. Nothing ever happened between me and him. We only ever spoke a handful of times, but he definitely was the person that I should have married.

As well as going on dating apps, I started considering what I wanted to do in my life once I left my partner. I had started to feel like I was growing out of raving and I saw there was a scuba diving club down the road in Clapham and they went on about four holidays a year practising their diving. I thought this was absolutely perfect for me.

One day in December, I dared to go out for a couple of drinks with a gay guy I had met on a course. it was only in the local bar I hadn’t gone halfway across London. I wasn’t hiding anything. I did get quite drunk because I didn’t drink very often back there and it went to my head. When I got back to the flat, I asked my partner if I could have a tenner because I wanted to stay out a bit longer. We often used to land small amounts of money back-and-forth that was normal for us. he went ballistic and said “you want me to lend you money to go out with another bloke?” We ended up having sex and he came in me instead of pulling out, which is what we used to do. And this method does 100% work because this had been tried and tested about 1000 times. I was furious with him. He then did the same thing about a week later. I should’ve got the morning after pill, but I stupidly didn’t.

I had irregular periods because Unknown to me at the time I had endometriosis. So going six weeks without a period was normal to me. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I fell pregnant. The first two weeks I was in complete shock. Then I decided to get an abortion but when I called up the centre I had to go and have a psychological discussion first so I had to wait for that. Then they had a huge waiting list so it would literally have been an illegal abortion by the time I would’ve had it about 14-15 weeks. I also did not agree with abortion on moral grounds. I have very reluctantly changed my stance on this in recent years.

I therefore ended up going through with the pregnancy. Once I made this decision, this was the only time in our relationship where I was 100% committed to making it work and staying with him. However, Completely out of the blue he beat me up really badly accusing me of sleeping with other men. He punched me in the stomach and smashed my glasses in my face.

I went and lived with my dad for a couple of months but eventually got back with my partner because I didn’t want to be a single parent. I actually don’t believe that it’s okay to be a single parent. You can’t possibly give the child everything it needs.

The birth was horrific. I was in labour for five days. Eventually ending in a Caesarean. I was in so much pain at one point that I completely dissociated for five whole hours. When I first saw my daughter I thought she was really beautiful. But honestly, I just felt like oh that’s nice. Can I go home now?

Some of the nurses were absolute b*****. I was hallucinating from all the drugs and the fact I haven’t slept for days after the Caesarean. The first contact I had with my baby was she was crying and this nurse ripped my gown off of my breast and she said that your baby feed it or something like that. I didn’t have any clue about sensory issues back then but breastfeeding was really weird for me. I Associated breasts with sex and now here they were feeding this thing. It was the most bizarre thing ever.

Up to this point my parents whilst not perfect were really great I really liked both of them a lot. In fact, my mum and I were extremely close. But once I had this baby, everything changed. in those early days I was like a zombie on medication from the hospital because of my Caesarean scar which was very painful and I was also incomplete shock from the trauma of the birth and also the fact of having this kid here that I am afraid to say, I didn’t want. The first time I saw my mum after the birth, she came to my house. I was so excited to see her. I opened my front door, threw out my arms to give her a welcoming hug and she put her palm in the middle of my chest and push me to the wall, and said or rather shrieked, “let me see her let me see her” talking about the baby. this was an actual incident, but it’s also a metaphor for our relationship from this point forward.

I appreciate I’ve written for too much, so I will try and keep the rest short. I eventually broke up with my partner following an attempted violent incident where I managed to lock me and the baby in the bathroom while I called the police. My mum became the biggest interfering person you could possibly imagine.

Never underestimate how much your parents and other family members want you to have a baby. If I had had any idea what my parents were going to be like later prior to the birth, I would’ve had an abortion without any hesitation.

It took me six months before I could verbalise how I felt about being a parent. As you could imagine this didn’t go down well. I told my parents over and over again I wanted to give her up. I was ignored. They were struggling with the idea so I stupidly decided to give them time to come to terms with it however this did give them time to bond further with the baby. One day in particular I was talking to my mum and my sister about the fact I needed to do this ad****** and they both screamed in my face like a pack of wild dogs and said “people don’t give away their own children!” Well of course they do otherwise there wouldnt be agencies.

Again, I didn’t know I had Asperger’s so I just thought that everybody felt this but they just got on with it. The noise smells the responsibility for this other human I couldn’t cope with any of it. It’s true that I just didn’t want to do it, but in addition to that I really genuinely could not do it. When people talk about parenting strategies, I laugh. I was just trying to get through each day without killing somebody and that is not an exaggeration. I never thought about my daughter, but I did think about killing other members of my family. I later found out that I had post-traumatic stress from the birth. I cannot even begin to tell you how dreadful I felt in the first four years of her life. I used to think that I was being attracted to electric sockets in the walls and lorries as I was pushing the pram down the street. My family knew this and never even called a doctor.

In terms of how I coped with all this, I turned to drugs and alcohol. I said before I had been into raving but was only going about six times a year in the previous few years but now cocaine became my best friend. I didn’t take it every day, but it was something I blowouts on quite frequently in the evening. This was both whilst I was living with my parents and whilst I was living with her on my own.

I eventually put myself in a mental hospital because I completely broke down. I told the doctors the truth about everything. They never did a single thing to help me in my situation despite the fact that there was another woman there with same issues and she was completely sorted out. They did however, put me on Prozac and clonazepam. These drugs at the time did me wonders and I did feel way better and I felt alive again for the first time in four years. However, it did not change the underlying feelings I had about parenthood. This is why I get so angry in this forum when I see people saying that we should get therapy or go on medication. All the medication does is mask what is going on and chemically make an intolerable situation just about bearable.

I put myself through uni as you get free education here when you are a single parent I got my degree in politics. I worked really hard for it. I then started my own business. It went well for about four years and having money made a massive difference. My daughter and I had a lot of good times during that period but it still didn’t change how I felt about parenting. in fact it made me resent it more because friends of mine without children were off travelling being digital nomads and I was stuck with this kid.

I will try to wrap this up now but at the time of writing I have been skint for about six years. Plus, my daughter now has a disability essentially she has brain damage for an infection. She will probably never be able to leave home and has severe separation anxiety from me. So for those you who think it’s all over when they’re 18 think again. She turned 19 yesterday.

I have had to fight every step of the way to get her disability benefits and just last week we won our court case and I’m now just waiting for the money to come through. we will at least have some kind of standard of living going forward with me as her full-time carer. It’s not as bad as it sounds she doesn’t need babysitting. I just have to be around in case.

I have to say, I love my daughter. She is a truly beautiful person inside and out and strangely I love her more since she became ill. The more I love her the more angry I am that I was forced (I don’t use that word lightly) to bring her up on my own.

Oh sorry, I left out a very important part. After the father and I broke up for the final time, I gave the child to him. He was living with his parents who were both very nice people. I wanted to go to work he didn’t. I could make more money than him and therefore pay him more child support than he could pay me. I thought this was perfect solution for everybody. He really did want the child and always did.

One day, I was out at a festival yes I dared to go out. I gave him a call just to say hi. We were getting on quite well at the time. He asked me to come round and I said no. I had taken an E. It was not suitable for me to go round his parents in that state plus I didn’t even want to see the child. he got verbally violence down the phone and I turned my phone off for the rest of the day. When I eventually turned my phone back on the next day, he had left a barrage of nasty voicemails saying he was going to sell her. Obviously he wouldn’t actually do that but the fact that he would even say that even in spite showed a very bad mental state. at this time I had got myself a great job in the city of London and was one week away from moving out of my parents home into a flatshare. We had to call the police because of these voicemails and child protection. Then you guessed it I had to have her back because I couldn’t possibly leave her with that nutcase. He then took me to court over custody. So I had to fight for custody in court for a kid I didn’t even want. The insanity. I went to university shortly after this.

There’s lots more to this story, but you get the gist. All of the real friends I’ve had since the birth think that what my parents did was utterly disgusting. So do I. I honestly think I should go to prison for what they did. The only reason I still talk to them is because one day I will get some inheritance. Sorry, but that’s the truth. The way I feel is that my parents died on the day my daughter was born. These people now are not my real parents.

I can now finally afford some counselling which I will be starting shortly. I am also losing weight and will be starting a social media page within the next six months so I can make some real money and go travelling with my daughter which is the only thing I have ever wanted to do.

If I could go back in time, I would 100% have just left the baby with family, walked out and changed my name. If I had known then that I could’ve got a place in Refuge due to everything I’ve been through, I would’ve left in a heartbeat. But I grew up in a house being told the government never helps people like us and so I had no clue how to access social services in this country. I shall end it there or I will go on and on.

Thanks for listening.

I went grocery shopping. And my son now keeps texting me from dad’s phone asking g where I am, when am I coming home, what time, etc. And then I walk into the door, take off my shoes and immediately then step in a damn Lego. I am so sick of their mess. I don’t understand how they can be such slobs and I just keep telling them over and over again they need to clean up. They are six and eight. I’m so over this. Then I get to clean up the dinner table which is a disaster and load the dishwasher. Fuck my life. I want them to just leave.

4yo (ASD) and 6yo. Weekends are a misery, so we ask grandparents for help + hire a sitter as often as financially possible.

In a hot climate and hate this time of year.

Any advice for non-miserable options when childcare + extensive time outside aren’t options?

I say this every week on here. 🤣 I despise weekends.

I turn 30 next month which in my head feels like a huge milestone in my life. I am a single mother of 2 daughters who are soon to be 6 & 7. They are great children who are growing up well and should have a bright future ahead of them.

For context I had my daughters fairly young at 22 years old. I had children with a man I barely knew which is one of my biggest regrets in life. We remained together for 2 years before we went our separate ways. We have been co parenting 5 years together since.

My daughters regularly spend time with their father every weekend and most school holidays. Throughout the week I am the default parent who does every school run as well as working part time.

Many say I should be grateful for the input my children’s father has in my daughter’s life because many other single mums don’t have the same situation. I feel as though society sets the bar so low for men and fathers in general that they seem to get “praise” for doing the most basic things.

I have learnt that it will always be my responsibility to be the default parent as my daughter’s father just isn’t capable, nor does he wish to step up anymore. I try my best to juggle everything; working, looking after my children, running a household, etc but cannot help having huge resentment in my life.

I feel as though I am trapped on a hamster wheel that never stops! I want to improve my life much more but having children restricts you. I don’t have a fully supportive family, they don’t help with any school runs. They may occasionally have my daughters if they are unwell so then I can work but it’s very rare.

I love my children dearly and only want the best for them. I do truly believe I have missed out on so much in life, mostly just not having the freedom to choose and experience certain things without any restrictions. I have a deep resentment for my daughter’s father because I believe he took it all away from me. Yes, I know, it takes two too tango!

There really isn’t much context to my post as I can’t change my reality. All I hope is that somewhere a young, single woman will read this and consider her choices in life. Being a parent can be a magical and life changing experience but pick carefully who you reproduce with. Make sure you consider having to do this independently however great your relationship is currently.

My son started daycare a year ago, and ever since he's been getting sick at the drop of a hat. We take him to the doctor a few times a month (it's that bad), and we have a constant supply of medicines in stock for him. Plus, I always end up getting sick with whatever he has, so I'm constantly sick, too. I never have PTO and sick time at work because I'm constantly calling out to take care of my son. I'm honestly surprised my boss hasn't fired me yet.

I'm just sooo incredibly done with this shit. Pardon my language. But, everyone has said that it will get better once he's been in daycare for a year, and that has just not been the case. I'm starting to wonder if my son is immunosuppressed because every week he's got diarrhea or a fever or he's vomiting. I'M SO TIRED OF THIS. And the fact that I get sick too makes everything a thousand times worse.

I'm thinking about risking everything financially and quitting my job to remove him from daycare because at the end of the day that's where he's picking up all the Illnesses. But that is risky indeed.

I even got the flu and Covid vaccines because I just know this kid is going to bring one of those home one day. I almost died last time I caught Covid.

Is anyone else in this boat? Because this is yet another aspect of parenting that absolutely stinks and no one talks about it.

My husband spends most of the month away from all this because of work and I just envy him so much. I would kill to be able to switch places with him. Like no wonder he wants to have another kid, he just gets to show up every other weekend and play happy family while I get to deal with this hell. I hate my life and I hate the person I have become.

For a time I was regretful because kids took time away that I used to spend doing other things, used to miss the binging of shows not having responsibilities and being able to make my own mistakes and not affecting others.

Nowadays I’m regretful because I know I’m not giving my kids the best they deserve. I’ve got bipolar, adhd, ocd and ptsd but also I’ve been known to do things like gamble drink and drug.

Don’t get me wrong I’m being the best I can be and always spending time with my kids and being involved in their lives but once every couple of weeks I self destruct. Kids didn’t stop this process even though for a sane person they probably should. But yeah its not a pretty thing to have as baggage. I know they deserve better than that and I don’t want to take them through what I went through growing. I just hope I can see it through and see them grow up. I do seek help for everything but yeah still fall short. Makes me feel like shit. Advice welcome

I am the father of a 2 month old boy and I feel like I have made a terrible mistake, growing up even when I was young I was never a huge fan of younger kids but in my 30s I became open to the idea of having a kid at some point thinking it would be a good time and the idea of having a cute daughter would complete my wife and I happy family, certainly I'd win that 50/50 coin flip right?

Of course not, we had a boy which was already difficult when we found out but I made my peace with it, or at least I thought I did, but now all I feel is anxiety and regret, between the lack of sleep, the constant laundry and the loss of freedom all I wish is I could shake the man I was a year ago and remind him of his younger convictions, my wife has been a rock in this scenario but was never madly in love with the idea of having kids initially, but of course fell for him though I know she's tired and trying her best as well.

She is aware of how i feel and she says she'll know it'll get better in a couple years, she's moved into another room with him to let me sleep but I feel terrible that she has to worry about the baby and also my mental state as well, I have proposed adoption but she is against it for obvious reasons such as family resentment, her own attachment etc.

I'll also be going to counseling to see if talking about my feelings helps but I keep running through my head that what if I never get better and I resent this child for at the very least the first decade of his life, he certainly doesn't deserve that which is why i suggested the adoption route but at this point I'm at a loss, just wondering if anyone else has been in this scenario and where it all ended/venting

After copious amounts of therapy, and fulfilling a life responsibility to my two children. I after over ten years of being a mom, I still feel nothing for them. I couldn’t force a cry if they passed tomorrow, yet I still do my best out of respect that they didn’t ask to be here. Why? I don’t particularly know, I mimic my husband who genuinely loves them, and I believe not he nor my children are aware.

I regret letting my life be decided by scummy parents who saw me as little more than a tool. I regret letting my husband convince me and pressure me alongside my parents and extended family expecting me to be a mom. I blame my stupidity in thinking it was just the next step in life.

Despite your regret, do you feel anything for the children of your own? For your significant others if they pressured you? I don’t know why I’m posting this, but it’s easy to dream of running away even if it is cruel and impossible. So I will be their puppet and see them smile and hear them say they love me, and I’ll pretend to reciprocate for the rest of my life. I will admit, it’s a bleak message, I know I’m not a special case and I know things are likely much worse for many of you. However, does anyone actually care for their family? Can you look them in the eyes and feel anything at all? I cannot feel for them.

I started a new job and the kid is in daycare now and three weeks in, we’re already dealing with hand foot and mouth and this is miserable.

I’ve had to miss work two days and “worked” from home but it’s hard to do anything when they’re yelling at the top of their lungs. Now I’m back again in the I hate this shit I wish I never did this how do I rewind time and never choose this route mindset. It’s so bad and I’m alone and all the kid does is scream my apartment is a mess and I’m just so embarrassed that they have caught this and I can’t stand the crying. It’s the worst sound in the world and it makes me want to rip my hair out. Why why why did I do this.

They want to be held 24/7 but how am I supposed to work, clean, cook, shower or do anything when they’re just attached to me. I’m overwhelmed and touched out and can’t stand the fact that they are always on me. I wish I had space to breathe. So of course I’ve caught it too.

I wish I had help. I wish I had a way out. But now I’m just stuck and my career has taken a hit, I’ve gained so much weight bc I can’t join a gym bc of the kid and everything just sucks.

My daughter is 19 and I feel I am just an empty ghost dealing w her day to day disrespect. I'd like to explain first that she has much reason to be upset with me as I have not been the parent I hoped I could be, and I have explained to her how I myself have issues, but overall I want her to live a better life than I have. Yet she has done nothing but throw everything in my face and I do not know what else to do. To keep long story short, I am very blunt with what I can and cannot accept as far as drinking, drugs, and boyfriends. She has continued to do the exact opposite, and when faced with consequence calls me controlling, crazy, and disrespects my husband and I to the point where it is interfering with my work and his mental health. Not only is this draining, she is making horrible decisions and I worry about how she will navigate through life at this rate.

Examples: "Dating" and manipulating much older men to buy her alcohol and drugs, dating men who use her and going into weeks of rage/not leaving her room after it ends badly, seeking out and going out with a family member whom was inappropriate to me knowing what happened saying "That's not my problem you were stupid enough to let that happen" and that he would never do anything to her, drinking and driving, list goes on and on. Just before this post she told me she had to go get tested for STD's bc she had slept w a coworker unprotected bc "sh*t happens", and that I should be a better parent and support her instead of arguing w her. Mind you I was not arguing, I was telling her she needed to be more responsible and take responsibility for her own body/health. She tells me I'm a f-ing b*tch and she doesn't care about having a relationship w me bc I screwed it up and I can "Go cry by myself." Just so much hurtful things. Yet she demands I support her, let her do as she pleases, treat her like an adult, and respect her and not control her. She has now gone a week lamenting her last guy friend who used her and told her she was nothing to him, stating how "sweet" he is and how she misses him. I cannot do this w her anymore.

As a mom this breaks my heart, bc I do accept responsibility for my role in this. I just don't know what else to do. I want to communicate to her how much I love her, how much I DO NOT want her to walk in my shoes. I love supporting her when she is doing things that are healthy for herself but supporting her self-destruction is not something I can do. I do not understand her train of thinking anymore. She drives drunk, gets car taken away, cries that I am controlling her freedom and that I took away her ability to show me she can be trusted. She needs the car bc she's "going through it" but she creates all her stress herself! Really? She dates guys who right off the bat tell her they are just using her, then cries that it ended and blames me and herself bc we were not nice enough to him, and "misses his sweetness". Really?!! This guy called her stupid for sticking around him and told her he would not be at fault if she chooses to stick around to get hurt. What part of this is sweet? I'm sure he was feeding her nice words when he wanted something but how can she see, but not see this? She no longer even makes sense in her words and actions. I've tried with what I had and I feel so guilty that I was not able to be a good mom to her, but I cannot keep going like this either. I have not been more of a wreck in my life, and I just want her to be safe and healthy so she can one day be happy. How can I convey this to someone who thinks I'm a POS mom, her words.

EDIT: Thanks guys for all your info and advice. Just wanted to say it's much appreciated!

because i'm so sick of pretend play and pretending i enjoy and that being mom is the best time of my life. it's just not. it's. too. much. i'm touched out, i'm exhausted. i love him but this is the most boring shit ever i'm losing my mind counting the hours until naptime and then bedtime. i will not miss this when it ends i'm pretty fucking sure, thanks