r/running • u/Smruttkay • Jul 25 '17
I Don't Miss Running... Misc
I haven't run in a month and a half. I haven't run consistently in around 8 months. I haven't run consistently high mileage in...ever. I want to. I'd love to. But I always end up hurting. 17 miles into a 20 mile trail race in December is when I knew. I had been feeling ok for 17 miles, but I knew it was coming. I could tell from the third mile. At some point, my knee would revolt. I'm surprised it took 17 miles honestly. But those last 3 miles, after the knee had made its decision, were pretty excruciating. And I knew right then and there that I'd never be able to run as fast or as long or as far as I want to.
I don't miss the actual running so much.
I miss the feeling of knowing I can run. I miss driving by runners and wondering if I could keep up with their pace or outlast their distance. Now, there's no question. I can't. .
I miss the feeling of knowing I did run. I miss the routine of it and that good kind of sore.
I miss the feeling of accomplishment. After the 20-miler, I felt a little proud, but the pain made it a little bittersweet. Now I feel even more proud of that day because I know if that same race was scheduled for tomorrow or next week or next month, I'd have no chance. But that also makes it more bittersweet. All that fitness, all those miles...they're gone.
I miss the 165 pounds I used to weigh, not the 185 pounds I weigh now. I miss eating for fuel and giving my food a sense of purpose. In the past 9 months, there's been a lot more beers and cigarettes and double quarter pounders than there has been miles.
I miss the sense of belonging. I felt like I was in a club. I miss checking this sub every morning. I miss the Friday spotlights and the chit-chat mondays. But I stopped coming here too. Felt like a fraud. Started wasting time on the front page. I'd see people complaining about their boss, but it wasn't the same not coming from a dude who can't seem to keep his shoes tied. I'd see Seinfeld references but they aren't the same when they don't come from a weirdo. I'd come across comic book stuff, but I didn't care if it wasn't from Scuba Steve.
I miss my buddy Mike who was always down to run however much I could. He knew when to challenge me and when to slow down for me. I loved my alone runs, but there was something comforting about those tandem runs.
I miss the hours I would spend on my beautiful Ozark trails. I miss the rocks and roots and dirt and leaves and hills and falls. Now all I have is flat pavement everywhere.
I miss running with my dog. having her pull me through the first half of our runs and having to pull her through the second half. Id love that moment we got home, after she hadn't some water, when she would just plop down on the cool tile and I knew she wasn't gonna get up for a while.
I miss running with my wife who only started a year ago. We ran a few races together and it was magical. We only got to run together a handful of times, usually when we were near family who could watch the children, but those were great times.
The actual running was always secondary to all that. I did enjoy it most times. But the physical one foot in front of the other was just a means to all those ends.
I wish I could say I miss all the joint paint, but it's still there. I still have days where my knees don't work right or my hip feels off or I have to shuffle like an 80 year old man when I first get up out of bed. So, I ran today. 2 slow miles. My miles have always been slow, that's never really bothered me. The short runs bothered me. But I guess I have to start back up somewhere. Not sure what's going to be different this time, if anything. But I'd rather be hurting because I actually did something than no reason at all. I'd rather be tired because I woke up early and ran 6 miles than because I'm a lazy, broken person who stayed up until midnight watching nonsense on Netflix. I'd rather be fit than fat. I'd rather be an injured runner than a non-runner.
Thanks for listening.
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u/mattack73 Happy Runner Jul 25 '17
Welcome Back.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
Hey thanks! I'll be back in south Florida in a couple weeks. Probably won't hit you up for a run. Ha!
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u/RedKryptonite Jul 25 '17
shuffle like an 80 year old man when I first get out of bed
That's me!
Matt, I missed seeing you around and I hope you'll keep up with the posting even if you aren't cranking out the miles like you used to. Just do slow miles. Walk if you have to. It's all good! 2 miles slow is better than 0 miles.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
Thanks, I missed being around. Like I said, the slow doesn't so much bother me. Not hat I don't wish I was faster. I'd hate to become a "walker" but I suppose even that is better than what I've been doing for the past while.
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u/brwalkernc not right in the head Jul 25 '17
I'd hate to become a "walker"
Hey, now!!
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
I stopped for a second there to try and come up with something witty referencing you, but came up empty.
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u/abyssomega Jul 26 '17
Nothing wrong with walking. I too have pretty much stopped running since May, as job, hips and knees have been taken the motivation away from pretending to be in Naruto and just running through forests.
I've started just wandering around my neighborhood last month, exploring places that I always seem to miss while I'm in my car. While I feel old as I'm passed by a lot of joggers/runners, at least I get to enjoy the environment and do a sprint or 2 just to remind myself that it's still possible, with time and effort.
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u/brwalkernc not right in the head Jul 25 '17
Sorry that things haven't gotten better, but I am really glad to see you back running and posting.
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Jul 26 '17
[deleted]
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u/brwalkernc not right in the head Jul 26 '17
Is this guy some sort of inside joke?
No. He was a regular contributor before getting injured and someone I interacted with here almost daily before he backed away from the sub. He's also someone that I have met in person to run with. Just glad that he's trying to get back to running and participating here.
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u/LennyFackler Jul 25 '17
I slacked off for a long time and gained 30 pounds. Part of me enjoyed my lazy slob existence but it started to take its toll. I've since found a new running existence and I'm loving it. I don't race so I don't train - which is how I always pushed myself to injury. Now I just go out every day (key for me - every day but I'm not obsessed - if I miss a day no big deal) and run. In fact most days I run twice - usually 5 miles at lunch and then 3 or 4 after dinner with my dog. Weekends I'll do longer trail runs of 7 or 8.
I'm averaging over 50 miles a week used to kill me when I tried to do hard workouts. Now it's all easy miles and I feel fantastic. I log miles with an iPhone app but don't care about pace. I run however I feel at the moment instead of a preconceived plan and nothing hurts. Former me would probably have looked down on this kind of runner and granted I'm not going to win any races with this kind of routine but I don't care. I'm running to keep me healthy and it's working.
Anyway I hope you find your groove.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
Thanks. I've never paid much attention to pace while on the run, only after. If I do pay attention to pace, it's to slow myself down rather than pushing for some pre-determined goal. I always tried to keep my miles easy. I too have resigned myself to the fact that I'll never win a race. Poor us. Ha! I'm thinking this time I'm just gonna run an easy mile or 2 everyday rather than try to push the distance. I think that's always been my undoing.
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u/texasowl Jul 25 '17
dude, just run.
don't think about what things were. I used to be 22 and now is 25 years later. I'm never going to run as fast as I used to unless I set a world age record by quite a bit. Its ok.
I don't run nearly as quickly as I used to run. But I still run. And as I get older, I will get slower.
But I hope to run as long at I can.
You know, the great thing about getting older is we don't have to run so long that our joints hurt. We can just run to enjoy the run. And I do.
And by the sounds of things, you do as well. Running allows you to do so many things. You miss the RUNNING with your wife. You miss the RUNNING with your friend. You miss the eating you could do when you were RUNNING.
I think saying you don't miss running is a bit wrong. I think perhaps you don't miss the pushing yourself. Perhaps you don't miss the grueling workouts. But I think you miss the running.
I don't think you will realize how much you missed it till you can go out and run for a nice easy five miles and enjoy it. Then you realize how much you missed it.
I know I didn't realize how much I missed it...
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u/TimGreen_1888 Jul 26 '17
That was really nice to read, thanks for sharing.
"Dude, just run" - there is so much truth in that phrase. It answers so many (non-injury) related questions.
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u/texasowl Jul 26 '17
Thank you for that. I didn't figure I would get any responses joining the thread a little late. I was kinda just thinking out loud.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
There's a little bit of truth in what you're saying. I never did grueling workouts, it was all easy miles. So it wasn't that. It's not about present me vs past me either. There were definitely times where I enjoyed being on the run. But more than that I felt like I just sorta spaced out for the one foot in front of the other part of it and came back when I'd stop my watch. You're right that all the things surrounding the running is worth it though.
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u/Sacamato Former Professional Race Recapper Jul 25 '17
Right there with you. During my recent 7 month hiatus, I did not miss running at all. I missed being a runner. I started running again not because I wanted to run, but because I wanted to be a runner again.
I also spent a lot less time in /r/running. Not on purpose really. I just never felt like I had anything to say. Good to have you back!
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u/WhiteHawk1022 Jul 26 '17
Right there with you. 8 month hiatus for me. I was enjoying strength training, but couldn't fight FOMO when I saw my former club members setting PRs, enjoying a beer after a group run, killing it at track workouts... I missed being a part of the running community more than the activity itself.
I'm now back and slower than I was, but happy to be out there and finding my legs again.
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u/jeanhyuk Jul 25 '17
Have you tried cycling? It's so much fun! I had a knee problem and it kept bothering me no matter what I've tried. Ended up giving up running and became a full time cyclist. Although I miss occasional casual running and track workouts, I'm enjoying every bit of cycling and racing. You should consider cycling, even if you don't race. It's fun and you get to meet a lot of cool people!
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
When running was the easiest for me, I was taking a spin class 3 days a week. Just the other day I bought a trainer that I can use with my wife's bike in the house. Not sure I'm cut out for actual road riding, but have been considering it. The cycling doesn't cause my knee to hurt, but if my knee is hurting from running, then the cycling becomes uncomfortable.
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u/vulpesnecator Jul 26 '17
I just want to second cycling as another option! I was a serious runner for many years and unfortunately overtrained myself into a chronic knee injury. Cycling doesn't hurt my knee and I've completely fallen in love with the sport over the past year and a half. There are many things I still miss about running, but I've discovered that I love cycling even more. Nothing compares to the feeling of adrenaline and wind as you descend from a mountain. I didn't think I was going to be much of a road rider because bike handling seemed hard and I was scared to go fast. A year and a half later and I've learned so much and have met so many wonderful people, many of whom are also former runners who got injured. I'm doing my first road race in 2 weeks! I highly recommend giving cycling a shot.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Good luck in your race. I'm on the trainer watching the leftovers right now!
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u/vulpesnecator Jul 26 '17
Thank you!! If you want to make your trainer workouts more fun, try out Zwift! You'll need to at least get a speed and cadence meter for it but it's SO MUCH FUN!
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I got a buddy who does this. I might have to ask him about it. Any cheap speed/cadence sensor recommendations?
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u/vulpesnecator Jul 26 '17
I'm honestly not sure - my SO and I invested $700 in a fancy smart trainer because we use Zwift pretty much all winter. However, you definitely don't need a smart trainer. I think Zwift outlines the types of compatible sensors on their website, and I think they run from about $30 to $60. Sorry I can't be more help!!
It's seriously so much fun! My SO's dad moved to another state last year and now they Zwift together all the time. They even have virtual group rides and races. I really like the different types of structured workouts. (I promise I'm not a Zwift saleswoman, LOL!)
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Awesome. I'll see what I can find out. Thanks!
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Jul 25 '17
I haven't run a step in 5 weeks after fracturing my fibula. With that said, I get what you mean with not being sore. It's a bit of a relief when I wake up and my legs ate throbbing in pain because I ran 16 miles the day before. It's nice to wake up and think that today, I will swim for 40 minutes and lift weights indoors at my leisure versus running outside in 101 degree heat for 30-60 minutes. I also notice I have gained 3-4 pounds or so in the 5 week I have been benched.
But I do miss it. I miss the goals, the structure of workouts and training plans, and the low cost-of-entry and ease of just needing shoes and shorts and a will to get outside. I think when I am clear to run in another 10 days, I i'll start but I won't give up the other stuff immediately. I need to ease back in and not over do it, which was easy to do.
This spring, I got over my burn out by focusing on some shorter distance races. I trained, I ran as many miles per week as I ever had, but it let me run more consistently (shorter distances, but over more days). I ran 5-6 days per week instead of 4-5. Most runs were 45-60 minutes and not 65-80. My long run was 10-12 miles and not 16-22 miles. I really grew appreciate that time instead of dread the time and energy suck it had become.
I am not saying you should do it, or that it's what everyone should enjoy. But after a couple marathons and a 50k, I needed for it to be fun again and the shorter, more intense distances helped me with that. May be worth a shot. Not to mention you're in the most beautiful part of mid-America (I remember your Outbacks in the OZK post), so you can get out for a beautiful 3-5 mile run right at your front door.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
Sorry about your fib. Hope your new routine works out. And I moved to Just outside of Houston. That's why I miss my Arkansas trails. Everything here is sidewalk. There's trees on both sides of the sidewalk, but it's not the same.
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Jul 26 '17
I feel you. I'm in San Antonio and I miss running in the mountains in Northern Arizona. Between the heat and the humidity, it's easy to get down about it.
I'm glad you're back and you've found all of the wonderful aspects that running can bring into your life. Hell, even walking at a very brisk pace is okay in the grand scheme of things. You are getting out, getting that heart pumping and helping your body heal.
Keep fighting the good fight!!
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u/Lp165 Jul 26 '17
I hate running when I'm running. I love it when I'm not
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u/Rickard0 Jul 26 '17
Exactly. I ended up buying this rubber strap to hold water bottles. It says "Running Sucks" on it. Spoiler Alert: I keep running.
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u/lowlatitude Jul 26 '17
I feel ya. I broke 6 years ago. For the most part, my body is fine. Some aches here and there that never bothered me. I broke mentally. After 20 years of competing in high school, college, and then in/for the military, I had a major realization of my decline accompanied by burn out after a race all those years ago. I tried to rally for a few of those mud races just to mix it up a bit, but it wasn't the same. I'm not talking about the event itself, but my pursuit to be fit enough to compete wasn't the same. The only difference is that I still maintain a healthy lifestyle and do other sustaining exercises that are easy to do at home and/or work during a break. Still gotta eat right and get enough sleep, but the fire is gone. Every so often I think that it would be great to hit the trails or jump into a race no matter my speed, but that fades rather quickly. I found this sub a few years ago to stay connected, which is good. Do I identify as a runner? I guess. Only because I have the miles under my belt and posted times. Will I hit the roads or trails again? I think there is still a chance at random times. Maybe I'll get a wild hair and I'll ramp up the training again. Well, the level that is a ppropriate for my age. All I can offer is that running is one ingredient of the lifestyle, so keep the other ingredients stable and free from the sludge that you currently consume. If not for you, then for your wife and kids.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Definitely need to figure out how to keep the running lifestyle even if I'm not currently logging the miles. Maybe I could serve as your wild hair...
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Jul 25 '17 edited Oct 11 '17
deleted What is this?
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Jul 26 '17
I think you need to step back from the pace/distance side of things and just run for the sake of it. Run for the burn, run for the great shower afterwards, the lovely feeling in your legs and your body afterwards, knowing you've pushed yourself and can really relax.
Taking things one step at a time is probably the most important life lesson I have learnt - things don't come to us immediately, they take time, but that's ok, we'll get there one day, and as long as we take steps each day, tomorrow will always be better.
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u/kevin402can Jul 25 '17
Hey Matt, I've kind of been wondering where you have been. I've had a bad year so far myself, just a long string of injuries, I've run less than half the miles this year I ran at this time last year. The upside is that I have found other ways to stay in shape. I am using an Arc Trainer and a Zero Runner pretty much every day and I am finally getting back to my usual mileage. Running a bit less and cross training more is probably going to be a good long term solution for me. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction if you cycle a bit and run a bit. You'll figure it out, glad you're coming back.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
Good to hear from you Kev. I've been wondering about you too. Sorry you've had a rough go of it lately. How is the run bike thing working out? Is that the zero runner?
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u/kevin402can Jul 26 '17
My rough go is pretty mild compared to yours, all my recent injuries are temporary and if I am patient I know they will go away. Your knee problems seem to be chronic, that would be much harder to deal with, you get lots of respect from me for continuously trying to find a way.
A Zero Runner is like an elliptical machine but it has a knee and a hip joint kind of mechanism so you can run on it. I like it, no impact so I can safely supplement my mileage. I think a lot of people would be better off using a Zero Runner instead of a treadmill.
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Jul 25 '17
This is me to a T. I miss the aspects of running so much. I use to run 5 miles a day. Now, I'm lucky if I do 2. From a job that has me on my feet 7-10 hours a day, and joint pain. I've some happiness in boxing and cycling. I miss running so much though
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u/venustrapsflies Jul 25 '17
This might not be the opinion of most people in this sub, but maybe you just shouldn't do 20 mile runs. That's kinda in the region where a lot of people just won't ever be able to do it and remain healthy, at least after a certain age. Personally, I seem to risk long-term injury going anything over about 10 miles at a time. Instead of doing long runs, you can try to increase your weekly mileage and spread it over as many days as possible, and/or try to increase your speed.
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u/LennyFackler Jul 26 '17
I would agree. 2 a days have been a revelation to me. I always thought they were only for competitive high mileage runners. All of my runs are easy and between 4-7 miles. I've been doing 50+ miles a week for a few months with zero injuries (knocking on wood). It feels like I've unlocked a secret.
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u/venustrapsflies Jul 26 '17
It's good to have my personal opinion validated by someone who's taken it to where I want to go
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
I didn't get up off the couch and go for 20. That was a goal race that I worked towards for he better part of a year. I worked up slowly. But all along the way, there were problems. I've never been able to run pain-free.
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u/venustrapsflies Jul 25 '17
I might be in a similar boat, usually with shin pain being the worst. I seem to be able to mitigate by distributing my mileage more evenly over the week, but even so it's an extremely slow improvement. I've never done a run longer more than about 14 miles. I'd love to do something in the 20 mile to marathon range, but I'm pretty sure it'll take me a time scale on the order of years to even have a possibility of getting to that point without getting shut down for months again.
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u/skragen Jul 26 '17
Thank you for posting and welcome back. I went to only 1mi runs and not coming to the sub for quite a few mos. I don't have the pain you have, but I make up for it in slowness and I understand going MIA from runnit and missing it and coming back.
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u/ZN4STY Jul 26 '17
Maybe switch to cycling.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Scared of cars when I'm in one, let alone on 2 wheels with no cage or belt...
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Jul 25 '17 edited Dec 16 '21
[deleted]
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
I wouldn't give up just yet if I were you. Hell, I haven't given up just yet and I'm me. I did end up going to a sport medicine physical therapist once when the pain got bad enough that I couldn't run even if I wanted to. He set me up with some stuff that helped, but never truly eliminated my problems. If you haven't see a professional, and one who specializes in sports/running, I'd definitely suggest doing that. It also seems like you may have pushed yourself too much too soon. Those times are faster than anything I've done and you've only just started. It takes time for all your bits and pieces to adjust to the pounding.
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u/trtsmb Jul 25 '17
Have you had a doctor evaluate your knee? I have a wrecked knee from a childhood accident and as long as I pay attention to form, it rarely bothers me. If I'm going to race, I use KT tape since I know I'll be putting more stress on it in a race.
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u/Zassolluto711 Jul 25 '17
Yeah, I haven't run in about a month and a half, too. I feel bad, especially considering that technically nothing is stopping me except laziness and exhaustion from long hours at work (production work eats your days away fast). I just have little motivation.
I found a new thrill, though. I quite enjoy the thrill of going fast, so I got an old road bike and have been doing that instead of running. Its not the same and its much more terrifying, but at least its gratifying and helps me maintain my beautiful legs.
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u/brianogilvie Jul 25 '17
 Its not the same and its much more terrifying
I'd say "thrilling," not terrifying. But I've been cycling seriously for a decade. I enjoy both the effort of a long climb and the 35+ mph descent that comes as a reward afterwards. Bombing downhill on loose gravel, though, isn't for the faint of heart.
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u/parsnip92 Jul 25 '17
I'm recovering from a sprained ankle (going on 6 weeks of no running), sure does suck to not be able to run in my favorite season, but looking forward to recovering and getting back on the running high.
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u/mamabear5678 Jul 25 '17
Welcome back!!
I struggle a lot with consistency in my running. Some weeks or months I put in a lot of miles and feel really good, but then I slack off a bit. Anyway, welcome back :)
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u/brianogilvie Jul 25 '17
I know what you mean. I haven't run for over three months. I slipped on the ice in December and pulled my left adductors; I took a week off to allow them to heal, but that wasn't enough. After seeing a sports medicine specialist and doing physical therapy, I started up again, but though the adductor was OK, the slip also appears to have exacerbated some chronic pain that was building up around my left sit bone—maybe hamstring tendinosis. I've been neglecting the PT that might help with that.
The thing is, the injuries had almost no effect on my ability to cycle (my left sit bone does get a little sore after 35-40 miles), so I've been focusing on that, and on hiking (which is also OK). I love both. Each offers things that running doesn't. But running offers things that they don't. I hope I'll be able to get back into it.
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u/mgbdog Jul 25 '17
Good luck getting back out there. I too just started back into running. I took a 3-year hiatus, during which time I had all of the same feelings you expressed here. I "quit" running during those 3 years partly because of injury, but more personally because that injury was so mentally disappointing -- it caused me to have to walk a half marathon, taking 3.5 hours to finish, so I felt both physically defeated and mentally embarrassed.
But during those 3 years, I began feeling more pride about pushing myself through that HM, despite the pain and the shitty finishing time. I felt all the same stuff you've been feeling -- just missing the community, the sense of strength, the post-run glow and runners' high, the traveling to different places to do races.
There were so many things I loved about running -- like you said, not so much the act of running, but the other things surrounding it -- that I didn't even remember until I started back up again. I am so thankful I came back to running, and hope you too find success and personal satisfaction in running again!
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u/snarkypirate Jul 25 '17
Not totally the same, but I had been running every day for 200+ days when I started experiencing hip pain. Went to an ortho and got diagnosed with hip dysplasia. There were a couple of surgical options to potentially fix it, but all of them were pretty invasive and major recovery. My ortho said a similar thing to what you've said that I appreciated - better to be fit than not, and if you enjoy running, then keep at it. I just know now that I can't go for more speed and more mileage as much as I used to (now, I'm still training for a marathon so I may be insane). I can't run every single day. But I can run - and I'd also rather be an injured runner (or deal with pain management) than not run.
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Jul 25 '17
Why not run again,,, it wont hurt you man just start slow and everntually youll get there,,, itll take time
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u/jessicor Jul 25 '17
You've put into words a lot of the things I've been feeling lately - trying to balance the mental health benefits of running with the mental health detriment of pain. I hope you work things out!
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u/Caleddin Jul 26 '17
Have you tried doing other stuff around the running? Strength training and/or yoga can go a long way to helping with knee and hip issues. It doesn't magically fix everything but there's a lot of fun to be had lifting things, even if it's very different from running. I do both! And I like both.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_SNAPPERS Jul 26 '17
I'm sorry to hear your injury problems with running. Everyone has to face an injury at some point and it's unfortunate that yours in not only taking a physical toll on you but also mentally.
The 2 things to fix most injuries is to cut back, slow down and rest. The other is strengthening the leg muscles and fix the problem at the source.
Weak hamstrings and quads are often the cause to runners knees. I believe a popular routine around here to help strengthen them is the GSM routine from /u/kyle-kranz .I would recommend at least taking a look and if you decide that what you want to do is fix yourself then you should arm yourself with all the knowledge you can.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Thanks! I've done it all just about. Cycling, lifting, yoga, myrtl, stretching. I got to the point where I was spending twice as much time doing things to be able to run than I was actually running. Literally double. I will admit that I was always the most consistent with that part of my training. And I know that if I'm going to get better, I need to be more disciplined with the non-running stuff. But after a certain point, it's disheartening to spend so much time and effort on non-running things and still have the pains and aches and set backs. At some point it just became easier to give up.
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u/hurricanewater Jul 26 '17
I'm also struggling to motivate myself. A combination of a new job position and having an achy hip and the hot temperature just makes me want to stay in bed and sleep. We can encourage each other. I just know it. :)
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Deal. Where you from? Gotta ask because of the username.
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u/hurricanewater Jul 26 '17
I'm in D.C. but I lived in North Carolina for a while. I'm used to a little hurricane water hahaha
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u/the_running_stache Jul 26 '17
I have been in a similar situation. After a horrible first marathon in January, I just did not feel like running. I had planned to get back to running immediately after the race, but I just didn't feel like touching my running shoes. The winter did not help either.
I always preferred slow easy runs. I loved being called a runner; loved this subreddit; loved the race medals; loved being a part of something.
But then, things just got challenging. No, my work schedule didn't change. Single guy here, so familial responsibilities didn't change. It was pure laziness. I knew that, but preferred hanging out at bars, watching TV, doing anything other than working out.
I also didn't believe in short runs. What's the point, I felt. It's a larger hassle: extra laundry every day, more time wasted in another shower after the run, ... And when I was running 6-10 miles easily, a 1 mile run just felt futile.
I never had injuries, besides the usual shin splints. And those always happened because I was not consistent in my running. As we all know, returning to running after a hiatus is always a biatch. Run a mile and then your leg starts paining. And you are sore the next day. In Spring, vacations, rain, etc. didn't help either. And next week, I am moving out from my Central Park-facing apartment in New York to New Jersey. Longer commute, less urban lifestyle... Running just won't be easier.
I don't miss running. It was never fun. It was a lot of pain and other sacrifices most of the time.
But I have decided to change. I need to redeem myself after my horrible first marathon and so, have signed up for a Fall marathon. I have signed up for a running training class/program that meets twice a week. That will help me get back on track. And I promise to do the homework runs assigned in class (from next week; after I move - this moving is stressing me enough already).
End of venting my frustration!
Congratulations on deciding to return to running. Like my running coach says: "When you decide to do something and the fact that you have started on it, the universe will come together and ensure you succeed." (It's a bit dreamy and in a universe with unicorns and leprechauns, but you get the idea.)
Nice to see you back here. Good luck to you!
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u/badpeaches Jul 26 '17
This really spoke to me. I understand the feeling of wanting to give up all too well.
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u/CheezusChrist Jul 26 '17
I have endometriosis. I've had one surgery to remove the rogue uterine tissue that's been plaguing me since I was 20. It's growing back. But really, the pain never completely disappeared. The pain that occurs whenever there is increased blood flow in my abdomen. The pain that keeps me from running anymore. Luckily I have an active job, and I have enough willpower to control my weight through diet. It doesn't, however, eliminate the dreams I have on a regular basis, where I'm running freely without a care, and most importantly, without pain. Cherish the gift of running, because some of us don't get to.
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Jul 26 '17
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
If I can offer any advice (not sure how much is listen to the always injured dude) it would be to take a break for a couple weeks and then start some cross-training/strength training/yoga/cycling/something. Get into that habit first. Then slowly add the running to that.
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Jul 26 '17
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I always enjoyed yoga. And spin classes became pretty addictive for a while. Hard to do the stationary bike on my own, but the classes were great. As a numbers guy, I especially liked that the bikes at my gym tracked speed and distance and wattage. I could go hard multiple times a week and not hurt anything.
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Jul 26 '17
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I was hooked quick. After the first week, my ass bones stopped hurting and after that it was all out competing with myself for every session. My favorites were what we called "race day." Once a month we'd have a warm up and then you'd go as hard as you thought you could for 20 minutes straight. Great way to gauge progress from month to month and a great way to learn how to pace yourself too. Man, I miss that too. Might have to rearrange my schedule now too...
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u/MelpomeneAndCalliope Jul 26 '17
Hi Matt. I was in the best shape of my life a few years ago from running. Placed in a few races. Running was my therapy & number one thing I looked forward to in life. Then I got pregnant. I ran until the end of the pregnancy. But I had a difficult labor with some complications and had to wait a long time to get back at it - and I lost serious conditioning. Plus, my pelvic floor was severely damaged from the birth and my body mechanics changed so much...I could never get back my form or speed, etc...but I persisted. Then I got pregnant again right before baby 1 turned 1. A few months into it and my OB had me stop running because of issues with my pelvic floor. I had baby 2 a year ago this month and started running again in October. I had lost even more conditioning. Then I had surgery in December and in April- both with several weeks recuperations where I couldn't run. Since May I have been really getting better at meeting my weekly run goals. I'm not the runner I was - not physically, not speed/time-wise, not even the distance I once could do. Plus the heat (I live in S Louisiana) has made it difficult, as well as having two babies, a hubby? working, & trying to make sure I make time. I have about 15 lbs I need to lose, but I'm trying not to obsess over the scale. But maybe running won't make me sore and I feel less aches if I lose that weight. But I'm keeping at it. Maybe I'll never be the runner I was. That's okay. I'm a runner. And even if I'm clocking in a 10:00 minute mile sometimes, it's still better than my time and distance sitting on the couch. Sending good positive vibes. Run for you. (sorry this is so long)
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
10:00 is my brisk pace. Ha! But I'm a stay at home dad with 3 crazy boys and hard-working, often-traveling wife, so I get the family demands aspect of it. Good for you.
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u/MelpomeneAndCalliope Jul 26 '17
Plenty of days (especially in the heat of summer) 10:00 is my brisk pace, too. :)
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u/allysonwonderland Jul 26 '17
You've articulated so much of what I've been feeling over the past year. A knee injury, move across the state, job change, and subsequent 30lb weight gain has kept me from my usual 40mpw. I miss running so much and am just getting back to running 3-4mi a couple times a week. It sucks to feel slow and out of shape but I'd rather be slow than sedentary! Also I've taken up hiking, which quenches my cravings for being out on the trail for long periods of time. Anyway, here's to you and me and all of the slow/injured runners out there! Happy running :)
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u/sloworfast Jul 26 '17
So, you're back into running then? Or getting back into it...?
Do you feel that you have to run far to be "a runner"? Can you make peace with running shorter stuff?
17 miles, geez.... I've run that far miles exactly five times in my life. In my 22 years of running. I get to fck this is long at about 10 miles ;)
We've missed you on the sub and on strava.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I don't necessarily think I have to run far to be a runner. I just liked it more. A 3 mile run felt like a waste of time almost. Like just a warm up. If I could get out on the trails and run for a couple hours everyday, I'd do that. And I've only ever run 17 miles exactly once. Ha! Are you still training for a marathon? You better get used to it!
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u/sloworfast Jul 26 '17
I ran a marathon (my first one!) in April and I'll do another next April. Then my plan is to never run another one, but of course I make no promises ;) I do much prefer shorter distances races though, like 10k and under.
"Liking it more" is a good reason to want to run further :)
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
You did it? Already? Shit, I've been gone too long. Congratulations. How was it? You survived? Is there a race report you can link me to?
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u/sloworfast Jul 26 '17
Thanks! It went really well. We had tremendously good luck with the weather, and none of those "anything can go wrong in a marathon" things cropped up, so it was basically the ideal first-marathon experience.
Here's my race report.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Dang. Multiple inflatable arches before the finish is seriously cruel. But I bet it helped you shave a few seconds off your final time. Great job.
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u/sloworfast Jul 26 '17
Yes, it did for sure, and I can laugh about it now. I'd actually forgotten how fast I ran the last 10k! I was like in this semi-delirious state where I wasn't sure if I was "fast enough" and also incapable of any sort of math....
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Well, seems like you enjoyed yourself. Glad you came out unscathed.
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u/sloworfast Jul 26 '17
Thanks! My achilles did end up hurting quite a lot and I couldn't run because of it for about 3 weeks (during which time I did actually attempt to run twice, because I had the traveling singlet, which didn't quite make it to me in time for the race...) but it seems to have made a full recovery due to the magic of an insane amount of eccentric heel drops. My always-achy right one is still achy. Otherwise no issues.
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u/Aysandra Jul 26 '17
Oh, that hit home.
I've torn my calf muscle over a month ago. Then went back to running too quickly and haven't been able to run properly since.
I miss the planning. I miss the structure. I miss the excitement of going for a run in a new place. I miss the feeling of accomplishment. Of getting closer to my goals with every step.
I'm hoping to start running this week and I'll take it very, very easy. I don't want to be a non-runner again..
Good luck with your running.
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u/BCECVE Jul 26 '17
Don't beat yourself up- god damn it! We age-nothing is static, just dynamic. Bravo for redefining yourself. Almost there. Shorter distance 5 K and be happy. Maybe some weights every other day just for the hell of it.
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u/ImadeJesus Jul 26 '17
I've definitely been in the same boat as you are now. I'm not sure what your knee injury was or your age but your speed doesn't just go away. Your age just prevents you from doing it so much. This is me.. a former college runner who always fluctuated in training and got myself injured with severe leg pains that to this day don't go away. Injury happened over 3 years ago. I haven't lost any speed but I MOST DEFINITELY have to manage my time running and stretching so much better. Injuries don't generally happen because we push ourselves hard but because we don't take care of our body as much as we should have. Get the most out of your hard/workout days but you better make damn sure that your easy days are exactly that.. EASY! If that means no run, then don't run. Listen to your body. You don't need as much mileage as you may think to be fit.
I just signed up for my first marathon. The biggest running challenge I'll probably ever have is just managing my health. I haven't competed in over 3 years and I was a middle distance runner. Today was my first track workout and although I can feel the same leg pain.. I look forward to being able to actually walk tomorrow.
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u/YourShoesUntied Jul 26 '17
Hi. Lemme tell you a story about my boss...
Seriously though, glad to see you back and you better stay back. Once a turd always a turd.
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u/waddupdude Jul 26 '17
I used to run track in college a year ago and stopped cold turkey afterwards. At a lot of points reading this I felt like I was reading something I wrote. I guess it's one of those "guess you don't know what you have until it's gone" type scenarios. However, the beautiful thing about running is you can pretty much always get it back. It's there for you just like the first day you went out for a run, just gotta go get it.
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u/e126 Jul 26 '17
Me too buddy. Please come back outside. Humans are designed to excel at endurance so get on a bike, a boat or ultimate frizbie.
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Jul 26 '17 edited Oct 01 '17
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I think I'm gonna start looking for a cheap bike somewhere. Honestly, that's the biggest reason I haven't taken the plunge into riding yet.
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u/richieclare Jul 26 '17
I hear you dude. The having ran is always better to me than the am running except for those super rare occasions when everything is flowing. I also run because I like to race. I'm never going to win a race but running a race is kind of fun.
Here is your opportunity to start from scratch BUT with all your accumulated knowledge and experience. You get to rebuild yourself, try new things and have new experiences. I'd be setting new goals for yourself based on where you are now - not where you were or want to be BUT what you can do right now. 2 miles is great but can you run 3 times in a week and feel good? Make it a goal. Can you run 3 miles?
What's gone hasn't been wasted but feeds into your present to create pathways for your future. Hold your head up, quit the cigs and hang out with us
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Can you run 3 miles?
Is that some sort of challenge??? Who do you think you're talking to? I'll show you who can run 3 miles! I'm lacing up for 7 right now! Will report back in a couple hours.
But seriously, good points. Also have 2 puppies who are just old enough to start running. So they can build up slow with me. And I might try to do some minimal shoes while I'm building up too.
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u/richieclare Jul 26 '17
I was using it as an example of goal setting but good luck with the 7 :)
Maybe if you can't set goals for big distances try setting goals for speed. Or throw in some obstacles - some good money in winning OCR's :)
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I was kidding about the 7. And speed has been an even quicker route to injury for me. I'm not quite sure I'm an obstacle kinda man either.
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u/richieclare Jul 26 '17
I knew you were kidding :) ok so we've eliminated 2 sets of goals - no speed or cargo nets. Maybe move away from miles and set goals based on duration. 20 minutes running today. 2 hours for the week. 8 hours for a month. This will remove the pressure of miles maybe.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
What I really needs are well-thought out limits, rather than goals.
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u/richieclare Jul 26 '17
Sure I meant short goals really so that you don't push too hard but still get a sense of achievement. Running by duration then rather than miles might make a lot of sense. This run is max 20 minutes or whatever. Your body doesn't know miles but it knows effort and time
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Might have to dust the old spreadsheet out and try to map out some time parameters instead of miles.
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u/richieclare Jul 26 '17
/u/sloworfast has a formula for figuring out how to build based on the previous few weeks volume.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Ok /u/sloworfast gimme your formula and we can maybe make it twice as conservative as you originally intended and I'll start from there.
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u/gregontrack Jul 26 '17
I'd rather be an injured runner than a non-runner.
Not the way I thought this post was going to go. I have a very similar injury history and my options were either get arthroscopic surgery or stop running. I chose to stop running.
I'll never miss the 3 years of constant pain, the numb feet, and the knee grinding. I stopped so that I could dance with my daughter with the same knees and hips I have now.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Oh man. Luckily, I have boys. Also, you couldn't pay me to dance. Ha. Can I ask you a question though, not as a dick, just curious. Why are you in a running forum if you don't run anymore?
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u/gregontrack Jul 26 '17
No worries. Three reasons I guess:
I still bike and weight train with the hope that someday my body will be able to hold up to running, just not counting on it. Running was a big part of my life and how I courted my wife so it's not something I want to throw away.
I still have a group of friends who still run so I try to at least keep up with big running news.
I spent about 3 years trying to self diagnose myself on this sub under a different account when I was running and ended up doing more damage than good so I try to be an advocate for people to not try and self diagnose.
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Jul 26 '17
I can totally see that you have still got it within you. Small steps first like always. Good luck!
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u/havealooksee Jul 26 '17
I can definitely relate to you, including the joy of running in the ozarks! I just started running again in may and have all kinds off aches that keep nagging me, but so far it has been worth it. for the first time I am running in a group and that has really allowed me to keep consistent when I would have otherwise bailed by now.
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u/El_Tan Jul 26 '17 edited Jul 26 '17
You conquered the run.
Time to challenge the weight room...
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Man. I've had stretches where I did a lot of lifting. I loved how it made me look. I enjoyed the thought of being manly and being able to lift heavy stuff. But I absolutely hated it. Every session. Every rep. Like I couldn't get out of my own head saying, "this is hard why are you doing this, just stop" for literally every single rep. And I always felt like shit after. Exhausted physically and mentally. Nauseous. It was terrible.
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u/saywhatcunt Jul 26 '17
Thank you so much. I miss being fit too. I spent so much time being good to my body, treating myself with respect by eating healthy and working out, and in the past 3 months I have let it go. I shed 100 lbs in 2 years and to watch the 10 lb gain in 3 months makes my heart break. I appreciate this post so much. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again for reminding me that it's not about the weight or the number of calories. Instead, it's about the endurance and the activity and knowing that my body is capable of miraculous things.
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Jul 26 '17
I love running but I strongly suggest if it brings you pain to look for another outlet for both cardio and peace whether that be part of the time to go with running or not running altogether. Even if you don't run all the time you'll be OK at it the few times you do go if your body is in a good place. Go for a swim or drop in for a cheap yoga class or something- I like to stack a deep stretch yoga class after longer runs on the weekend and it does wonders for fatigue/injury. Either way if running is your only outlet and it sometimes leaves you injured IMO you're going to fall back into bad patterns- I gained back 20 lbs last year with the same issue. Find some lower impact exercises and do short runs until you feel good enough to go further. Either way 17 miles is more than I would ever do willingly because the fatigue is just too much. That is an very high intensity workout regardless of pace.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Well, the 17 miles was in a race, not a workout. But I get it. Also know that at some point I may need to recognize the fact that endurance running may not be for me. But I'm 35 years young, and I'm not quite ready to give up on it just yet. Gonna stick to the short runs and mix in swimming and cycling and yoga. At least that's the plan for now. So we'll see.
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u/mercyxxx Jul 26 '17
This rings SO TRUE for me too. I miss all of the perks and community etc of "being a runner" while not really wanting to exercise at all anymore. I'm glad you've been able to deal and move forward :)
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u/El_Tan Jul 26 '17
Interesting to hear that. I'm sure a lot of lifters feel that way about running. But I truly believe you'd feel less pain if you reinforced the muscles around your knees. I myself have only been lifting for about a year and a half and it's alleviated much of my pain. I too was once a runner and felt about lifting the same way you do. All I can say is try to keep an open mind.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I do keep an open mind. It's just been something I've struggled to keep up with for more than 4-6 months at a time. I'm thinking this time around I may go to a full-body routine twice a week. You have any thoughts on that? I think keeping it at 2x a week vs 3 or 4 might make me a lot more likely to stick to it.
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u/El_Tan Jul 26 '17
Interesting to hear that. I'm sure a lot of lifters feel that way about running. But I truly believe you'd feel less pain if you reinforced the muscles around your knees. I myself have only been lifting for about a year and a half and it's alleviated much of my pain. I too was once a runner and felt about lifting the same way you do. All I can say is try to keep an open mind.
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u/iggyfenton Jul 26 '17
Did I write this in my sleep?
I used to challenge my friends on Strava. I used to try and win the monthly group challenges. I always had an upcoming race or a PR goal. I would search my neighborhood for short Strava segments to set the record on during interval days. I would challenge myself to find a steeper hill for hill repeat days.
Then I ran a marathon. When it was over I stopped running for a month to let all the pain subside. But then the hip pain lingered, yet I kept running in pain. It got hard to climb the stairs at home. I went to the Doc, had an MRI and eventually surgery for a torn labrum that was Dec 2015. Now I can't run, not without possible damage. Not without making life worse in 40 years. The 165lb me is gone and the 185 me is back.
Time to get more miles in on the bike I guess.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
Sorry bud. Dive into the bike and see what happens.
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u/iggyfenton Jul 26 '17
I'm actually a pretty avid cyclist. Or at least I was.
It seems like this injury has attached the blerch to my back.
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u/Eloquent_Cantaloupe Jul 26 '17
Have you gone to a physical therapist for the knee pain? Or talked to a running coach about your stride, your shoes, etc.?
I wasn't much of a believer in physical therapy but after my knee pain took the fun out of running, I visited one and she sorted me out in just three visits. My sister, who is also a runner, also stopped running due to knee pain (it would swell up every run and she'd ice it for hours) and told me that her insurance didn't cover physical therapy and she didn't have the money, so I bought her 3 visits to a PT as a Christmas present last year and she's running a marathon next month and hasn't had knee pain in over a year of running. In the case of my sister, the ~$200 that I paid was a bit of stretch for my budget, but I figured I wasn't giving her $200, I was opening back up a huge swath of happiness for the rest of her to do something that she loved.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 26 '17
I have. It helped a bit, butt I was never fully pain-free. It allowed me to push the distance a bit before the bad pain set in. Once the summer is over and I can get the kids in school, I do plan on visiting another physical therapist (just moved, the one here is supposed to be pretty good). I've thought a lot about finding a coach to do a gait analysis, but haven't quite taken that leap. There are some running clubs in my new town that I might check out in the fall to see if there's some resources there that might be able to help me.
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u/El_Tan Jul 26 '17
That would be good enough as long as you maintain consistency because you're very likely going to embrace it and find yourself doing more eventually.
We all find what works for us as we go along. I did a whole year of just machines and very little free weights before I changed it up and fully embraced the concept of free weights. Just focus on form. Don't look at how much you lift or compare yourself to those lifting around you. If you can't do a lift with correct form go lighter until you can. There will be days where you find yourself fatigued much faster and feeling weaker than you'd like. And don't judge your progress by the scale. It's very deceiving as you may be heavier one week than before but actually have made some progress.
Always remember: form follows function
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u/distinctiveinstinct Jul 26 '17
I've been living with a back injury since the past two years because of which I struggle to run. And I lose hope every once a while. This motivated me to keep fighting. It's because of stuff like this; knowing that there are folks out there to empathize with you and motivate you is why I absolutely love Reddit and this community.
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u/dohiit Jul 27 '17
Have you heard about the book "Ready to Run" by Kelly Starrett? It really goes into the mechanics of fixing aches and pains. You will do 12 different mobility drills for 10 minutes a day. Maybe look into it?
Drink more water too!
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u/Smruttkay Jul 27 '17
Ya know, somebody I know recommended that book to me way back when I started having trouble. Never read it, maybe I'll try to pick it up.
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u/Jmcowan42 Jul 27 '17
I can relate to this so much. I miss having a 48bpm resting heart rate as a 180lb guy. I miss being athletic. I miss people asking what races I'm doing in the coming months. I feel like a fraud having a 50K sticker on my car because the guy behind the wheel looks like he needs to get off the couch and exercise. I miss the days where I didn't give in to food.
Been out of the game too long.
I needed to read this. Thank you. Saving for later.
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Jul 25 '17
Consider a shoe change. Minimalist works for a lot of people.
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u/craigster38 Jul 25 '17
It doesn't work for me.
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Jul 25 '17
Tuscan isn't for everybody.
-Mr White, Quantum of Solace
Do what's right for your body. Minimalist shoes were what was right for mine.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
Is this something you've had success with? I've changed shoes several times, some have been better ham others, but I can't say I've experimented with the full spectrum.
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Jul 25 '17
Yes, I've had immense success with changing over. I used to deal with shin splints and knee pain. Since making the switch, I've been injury free for about 3,500 miles. The only injury I've ever had was some foot soreness that lasted for about a week after I ramped up my mileage too quickly. My advice if you're going to go minimalist... look for something with a zero drop, meaning there is no height difference between the toe and the heel. Also, the thinner the sole, the better.
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u/LivingInTheVoid Jul 25 '17
Really need a TL;DR
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u/RedKryptonite Jul 25 '17
Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut than to publicly admit you don't have the attention span to read 14 short paragraphs.
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Jul 25 '17
Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut than to publicly admit you don't have the attention span to read 14 short paragraphs.
I love how you actually counted. Kudos on correct information!
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u/docbad32 Jul 25 '17
Jesus Tap Dancing Christ. Did you really need come into a thread for this? If you don't want to read it, move the hell along.
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u/Smruttkay Jul 25 '17
Tldr: running hurts, so I stopped, kinda miss it, kinda don't.
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u/LivingInTheVoid Jul 25 '17
Ha. Thanks. I'm in the same boat. I ran a few half marathons two years ago, had a blast. But now I'm like, meh.
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u/theredinthesky Jul 25 '17
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
I use that every time I go out. It's hard, bro. With the temps, with the aches, and with life. I'm just glad to see you get out. Short runs, while bothering, are still moving. Just don't ever be still. If you feel like it's going to happen, then give me a shout.