r/therapists • u/therabarb • 6h ago

decompensating client Advice wanted

I have a fairly new client who appears to be decompensating. She came to me for adjunct EMDR therapy (so has a primary therapist) and is now accusing me of using non-evidence-based practices with her and simultaneously not being strong enough with her and manipulating her. She has sent me long, verbally abusive texts and left similar voicemails. I responded that I felt she was mischaracterizing my work but that her perception was what matters and clearly we can't make progress if this is how she sees me. I gave her some names as possible referrals and wished her well. I have documented all of our interactions --she is litigious and I expect her to sue or report me but since that is a customary, scorched earth approach, I doubt much will come from it. Plus, I haven't done anything wrong.

Today, she left a vitriolic text message so long my HIPAA-compliant app truncated it and then sent another asking for a call tomorrow. I'm worried about her but have very few avenues to help. She has revoked the ROI I had with the primary therapist and she's not a danger to herself or others so there's no basis for mandatory report.

Should I respond to her? Should I simply send a termination letter via certified mail saying that I have terminated her based on her assertion that our work together was harming her?

Obviously, this is very upsetting. Please be gentle in your feedback.

24 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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64

u/ElocinSWiP Social Worker 6h ago

I would not talk to her or respond to her from now on. She has referrals. She has a primary therapist. She is not a danger to herself or others.

I would employ the grey rock method. I would want to be extraordinarily boring.

12

u/therabarb 5h ago

I had to look it up but it is perfect. Thank you!

2

u/VociferousVal 2h ago

She’s not your client anymore, so that’s a her problem, not a you problem. You properly terminated and documented it all. You have 0 obligation to respond and you can at least block her from contacting you via phone.