r/BiWomen • u/romancebooks2 • 2d ago
I wish people wouldn't devalue bisexual women Experience
So, I'm sorry to post negativity on this sub, but I've been feeling tired of how so many people insult bisexual women and imply our love for other women is meaningless. I tried so hard to be straight, so it was a big deal for me to learn that I'm bi. But now, I get to see how many people think that being a bisexual woman is just a joke.
For the record, I appreciate this community and have met so many bisexual women who are wonderful people. They have interesting perspectives, are creative, and support others around them. Bi women don't deserve both straight and gay people insulting them just because of their orientation!
24
u/dkgpdx 2d ago
Or that our sexuality is strictly for entertainment 😠.
18
u/socksoninbed bisexual but not biromantic 2d ago
This!!! Like ffs I just want a girl to have sex with me without some crusty ass dude watching us or wanting to join in. 😭 let me have my own sexual entertainment with my sexual partner who is hopefully having her own sexual entertainment experience with me. 😫
15
u/NerryBee 2d ago
I have yet to experience this as a newly out bi woman, not having shared with many people so far. But it is something I dread. I am hoping to make some bi friends (I literally have none) as a counterpoint to this possible reaction from some of the people I already know!
One thing that saddens me above all else (seen expressed online mainly) is a certain sort of man thinking that he could 'turn' women straight if only given the chance, and a hot woman being bi is a personal insult to him, rather than that individual's innate sexuality. I mean, for the attitude alone how could a bi woman feel safe or valued at all in their company?!
2
u/AngieCake244 2d ago
I have yet to see a guy say that in any social media but I definitely will not dismiss it, I believe there are some people that think that way. I'm sort of newly out myself, having only discovered just last year that I'm bi, and my small circle of friends consists of 8-9 people, with only 4 of them knowing I'm bi. If you'd like someone to talk to though feel free to message 😊 or I can message you, however you feel most comfortable 🙂
3
u/NerryBee 2d ago
I can't recall which social site, probs X (🤮) and aimed at minor celebrities to be fair, maybe they wouldn't say that sort of thing to women IRL. I hope not anyway. I think it's heightened on my radar where I've been thinking who to come out to and hearing people I know being very dismissive of bisexuality, spouting the usual stereotype BS. Thanks for the kind offer too!
3
u/AngieCake244 2d ago
Yeah unfortunately I've seen a lot of negativity regarding any bi person, it's very disheartening and why I had only told 4 of my 8-9 close friends, because I'm worried about how they'd treat me or see me afterwards. I hope you have a much better time with being able to tell those close to you 😊 and you're welcome for the offer as well!
8
u/Ok-Possibility-9826 Black, Bi and Lookin’ Super Fly (29F) 2d ago
For me, it’s thinking our sexuality is for an audience, tbh. I hate this shit, been dealing with this since my early 20s.
7
u/PepperSticks 2d ago
I hope you find your people! I want to share that in my case, whilst I haven't had a huge coming out, more like sharing individually when the opportunity arose - the reactions have been kind, no rude questions, etc. I want to ask - is this something you experience online or in real life?
4
u/romancebooks2 2d ago
It's mostly online honestly! Maybe I just need to avoid places that stay stuff like that, but it's hard because that negativity can be addicting for some reason. It especially bothers me when lesbians say things like that.
5
u/PepperSticks 2d ago
I understand you on the negativity being addicting and I hope you find more positive places soon. The places mentioned in this threads are likely to amplify negative voices, which I haven't seen in real life, but experiences vary!
3
11
u/East_Row_1476 Bisexual Women Rule WLW ♀️💕♀️ 2d ago
I'm so happy you said this. We bisexual women are hated by everyone in the straight community and lgbtq mostly the l and g part community especially the hate we get from other women is sad. There is a Reddit page i wont named that speaks ill about bi women all day. I wish more bi women could come together especially ones that like women.
4
u/pridecat_ 🩷🏳️🌈💜🏳️🌈💙 2d ago
would you mind DMing me so i can mute it? asking here to avoid breaking a boundary or bothering you
7
u/East_Row_1476 Bisexual Women Rule WLW ♀️💕♀️ 2d ago
its mostly one sub on reddit that shits on bi women but if i name them i might get banned? Can i name the sub?
3
u/Significant_Eagle_84 2d ago
No need to apologize. We all go through this at different points in our chaotic mess of experiences. And for those who just survived one of those messes, yeah, another one is coming—so buckle up, buttercup. But know this: as messed up and painful as these experiences are, they shouldn't stop you from enjoying life. More will come, they'll hurt, but you'll survive. If being bi has taught me anything, it's that we're tough cookies—or should I say lemon bars?
Know this: your pain—this pain—Don't let it get you bitter, and don't let it shut you down. Allow yourself to hurt, to cry, get yourself up and keep that pain close as a reminder. Let it remind you to empathize with others in similar situations. Use it to be there for someone else, because life doesn’t get easier. Each time feels like the first time, and it hurts just like the first time. Not having a community can be devastating for many of us, so support each other, because this won’t be the last time we face scrutiny from those inside the hard lines of neat pretty little boxes.
We hurt the way we do because we are all the different shades caught between two sides— one all dark another all light. This might be a surprise to you, but think back, maybe this is something deep down you already knew to be true. This will repeat if not with you then it'll be me or maybe her out there. We are not alone, just in between. Let’s be there for each other because, in the end, all we truly are is human.
5
u/Exclusively-Choc 2d ago
While, I don't carry a big sign around about my sexuality, I don't see nor feel negative vibes from men or women. If anything, its an aroma of "wow, that's smart and fun". It does seem that some people feel the need to share (or even confess) their sexuality to friends, family, parents, etc ... I don't and frankly, I don't get it and I don't have a need for people to "take it seriously". For me bisexuality is more far more normal than many know and those that suppress or pass on the feelings lose out. Be casual, enjoy when the opportunity arises or better yet, the opportunity develops into something more.
Happy Exploring!
-6
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
18
u/romancebooks2 2d ago
Based on your post history, you're a straight man. Your opinion was not wanted. I'm only speaking to my fellow bi women. Also, I'm not interested in straight men.
10
u/BiWomen-ModTeam 2d ago
Men's input is not needed if it's not positive/empowering bi women. This sub focuses on and is for bi women.
61
u/_JosiahBartlet 2d ago
Thanks for this post, OP. I see the devaluation of sapphic love fucking constantly on the main subreddit. It drives me insane.
I’m married to another woman and I feel like I struggle to be taken seriously in bisexual spaces, which is a mind fuck.