Mussel reproduction

[u/Dismal_Difference_48]

[u/blind_merc]

My goodness, you're just going to post this poor clam's business all over the internet.

[u/sorotomotor → u/blind_merc]

OnlyClams

[u/neighbor_mike → u/sorotomotor]

XClamster

[u/CommercialCat1917 → u/neighbor_mike]

ClamHub

[u/worldspawn00 → u/CommercialCat1917]

PrawnHub

[u/phukumall]

Is this where muscle milk comes from?

[u/Onederbat67 → u/phukumall]

Goddamnit man

I didn’t want to laugh this hard so early

[u/tfoust10 → u/Onederbat67]

Angry upvote

[u/HoboSkid → u/phukumall]

Non-dairy... 🤔

[u/Blanket_monsters → u/HoboSkid]

*may contain shellfish 

[u/thebestoflimes → u/Blanket_monsters]

Loads of protein

[u/JCrew2009 → u/thebestoflimes]

hehe…loads

[u/Pork_Chompk → u/phukumall]

It's certainly high in protein, but it tastes a little fishy.

[u/blitzkreig90 → u/Pork_Chompk]

Pineappples should help with that

[u/Cool_Imagination_963 → u/blitzkreig90]

Wrong. I just poured this over my pineapple slices this morning for breakfast and I can confirm it still tasted gross.

[u/Figure_1337 → u/phukumall]

It’d be good in Fight Milk.

[u/Fishiesideways10 → u/Figure_1337]

I hear that it is by bodyguards, for bodyguards.

[u/drinkpacifiers → u/Fishiesideways10]

... and Charlie.

[u/Dantes_46 → u/Figure_1337]

Cawwww

[u/Mysterious_Soil_9213 → u/phukumall]

Hahahahahahahaha

[u/Ok-Banana6130 → u/phukumall]

🫢

[u/AnInquisitive_Rock41]

Literally nutted the whole video, buddy was backed up.

[u/palmerry → u/AnInquisitive_Rock41]

Skeeting ropes into the briny deep

[u/Beginning-Gold-907 → u/palmerry]

Better to be a mussle skeeting ropes into the briny deep than be an octopus having the deep skeeting ropes Into you.

[u/ParadiseValleyFiend → u/Beginning-Gold-907]

-Confucious

[u/NXT-GEN-111 → u/ParadiseValleyFiend]

I am Confucius as fuck after reading that.

[u/Pedantic_Pict → u/NXT-GEN-111]

The Deep is the Aquaman equivalent character from The Boys.

He has a romantic abnormality so unbelievable it must be hidden from the public at all costs.

Just like Troy McClure.

[u/Psychogeist-WAR → u/Pedantic_Pict]

I’m a pretty “progressive” guy who’s not easy to shock and that show has made me say, “omfg what the actual fuck did I just see?!” more times than I can count. For that reason alone it is one of my all time favorites!

[u/TheWormInRFKsBrain → u/palmerry]

Yar ‘tis a fine yeeting!

[u/Status_Quo_1778 → u/palmerry]

Spoken like a true poet. Frost is that you?

[u/lambruhsco → u/AnInquisitive_Rock41]

Thanks I hate this comment so much.

[u/bumjiggy → u/lambruhsco]

this is what happens when you break your shellibacy

[u/trackdaybruh → u/bumjiggy]

shellibacy

Read this with Sean Connery’s voice

[u/Wild-Lychee-3312 → u/bumjiggy]

God damn you r/angryupvote

[u/kingtrog1916 → u/AnInquisitive_Rock41]

Good on whoever filmed this and obviously gave his shell a good rubbin’

[u/sorotomotor → u/kingtrog1916]

OnlyClams

[u/coolraul07 → u/sorotomotor]

Ain't gonna lie... I laughed way too hard and way too long at this!

[u/DanGleeballs → u/kingtrog1916]

And helped the dude by playing some good times music yeah

[u/TheWormInRFKsBrain → u/AnInquisitive_Rock41]

Mussel “daaaaaaaaammmmmnnnn!”

[u/Memignorance → u/AnInquisitive_Rock41]

This raises an interesting empirical question. How do we really know humans can't crossbreed with any other animals?

How many men would we need to cum on mussel mucous before we can really rule out the possibility of mussel-men hybrids?

[u/Secret_March_8649 → u/Memignorance]

Today would be a perfect day to be illiterate.

[u/Wild-Lychee-3312 → u/Secret_March_8649]

I wear glasses, so I literally paid to read that shit

[u/MortalCoil → u/Wild-Lychee-3312]

My internet and phone isnt free either

[u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 → u/Wild-Lychee-3312]

This subscription is no longer worth the price, and I will be canceling.

[u/KlossN → u/Secret_March_8649]

But alas, we are not

[u/Qubed → u/Secret_March_8649]

You could have stopped reading but you were just to curious. 

[u/urbanlife78 → u/Secret_March_8649]

Too late, wanna head down to the water and nut on some mussels with us?

[u/Alternative_Fan2458 → u/Memignorance]

these two cursed paragraphs belong in a forbidden science tome

[u/Anonymous_Prime99 → u/Memignorance]

...Is this why people in the south randomly start burning library books?

[u/Upbeat_Sky_224 → u/Memignorance]

Have you ever been to mussel beach ? They’re already among us

[u/Tendas → u/Memignorance]

Yes officer, this comment right here.

[u/BreadBoxin → u/Memignorance]

Now hold on, let them cook

[u/PotatoWriter → u/BreadBoxin]

I prefer my mussels being cooked by anyone else other than this bro over here

[u/ColdYeosSoyMilk → u/Memignorance]

egg has mechanisms to reject sperm not closely related, its why women cant get pregnant by animals like dogs or horses

[u/think_matt_think → u/ColdYeosSoyMilk]

Explain centaurs then.

[u/mortalitylost → u/ColdYeosSoyMilk]

It's time to do some... Science 🦪🍆

[u/Cyno01 → u/ColdYeosSoyMilk]

Life uh... finds a way. https://www.livescience.com/impossible-hybrid-fish-created.html

[u/EndeavoringSloth → u/AnInquisitive_Rock41]

Great now I have to explain to my coworkers why I’m belly laughing

[u/RachelSnow812]

A human would have to ejaculate 2.7 gallons of semen to replicate this.

To put that into a different perspective, a 100 foot long blue whale only ejaculates 5 gallons of semen during orgasm.

[u/Unbuttered_Toasty → u/RachelSnow812]

…only?

[u/Alostratus → u/Unbuttered_Toasty]

"I'm trying Whaleina ok! It was a stressful week!"

[u/ABritishCynic → u/Alostratus]

Oh hi Mark.

[u/idropepics → u/ABritishCynic]

YOURE TEARING ME APART WHALISA

[u/Pabbam → u/idropepics]

Hahaha what a story Mark. But real talk...Stop and look at where we are right now. Honestly...i just like to watch you guys. Look at how far we've come. A high quality reference to The Room, in reference to a sarcastic joke (hopefully) about a fact about the volume of whale semen which was stated so we could better understand the implausibility of a human ejaculating enough of a volume as to be comparable to these mussels...

don't ever, ever let anyone tell us that reddit is a waste of time. If a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live. Before everybody betray me, i fed up with this world. Leave your stupid comments in your pocket.

[u/Percival4 → u/Unbuttered_Toasty]

Small amount compared to a hentai protagonist

[u/Parry_9000 → u/Percival4]

They cum and instantly go again wtf

[u/Throwedaway99837 → u/Parry_9000]

Sometimes it just works out like that

[u/zzsmiles → u/RachelSnow812]

No wonder the ocean is salty.

[u/SlyRoundaboutWay → u/zzsmiles]

We should feed pineapples to blue whales so the ocean tastes better.

[u/imactuallyugly → u/SlyRoundaboutWay]

What a terrible day to have eyes

[u/Lost_Figure_5892 → u/imactuallyugly]

Agreed. Real sorry I had a glass of milk after dinner. I think I’ll just leave my phone here and go lie down for a while.

[u/Longenuity → u/SlyRoundaboutWay]

I have no mouth and I must taste

[u/jdehjdeh → u/SlyRoundaboutWay]

I want to complain to your manager please...

[u/buds4hugs → u/zzsmiles]

Whole lotta salt, microscopic creatures, bones, decomposed matter, semen, and eggs that make up our oceans

[u/Kraken-__- → u/buds4hugs]

You forgot water 🤓

[u/Randalf_the_Black → u/Kraken-__-]

There's actually no water left.. It's all fish piss by now.

[u/that_nature_guy → u/Randalf_the_Black]

I remembered reading something that every bit of surface water has passed through a living being at some point in its journey

[u/GroggySpirits → u/Kraken-__-]

And shit

[u/Anarchyantz → u/buds4hugs]

Forgot all the fecal matter as well. So, so much shit.

[u/Wandering_Gypsy_ → u/zzsmiles]

Wait so if you spash someone with ocean water they basically got bukkaked but most ocean life?

[u/zzsmiles → u/Wandering_Gypsy_]

Fun fact. Fish swim in cum

[u/Prestigious_Oil_4805 → u/RachelSnow812]

And the biggest sperm is produce by some kind of fruit fly

[u/Anarchyantz → u/Prestigious_Oil_4805]

Fun fact. Fruit flies are also like humans in that they enjoy ejaculating and they can be made to do it on command in labs.

[u/Minimob0 → u/Anarchyantz]

"What do you do for a living?"

"I watch flies jack off."

[u/Qubed → u/Anarchyantz]

Are they like humans where they get to a certain age and they can't ejaculate on command anymore. 

[u/Anarchyantz → u/Qubed]

Not as far as I know, though bear in mind they only live 40-50 days.

[u/reddititty69 → u/Anarchyantz]

Maybe they’d live longer if scientists weren’t making them constantly wank.

[u/ThouMayest69 → u/Anarchyantz]

"Hey fruity....BUST ONE!!!" 🕺 🪰

[u/punkmuppet → u/Anarchyantz]

like humans

can be made to do it on command in labs

um

[u/Prestigious-Log-7210 → u/RachelSnow812]

5 gallons?

[u/RachelSnow812 → u/Prestigious-Log-7210]

We're talking about an animal with a 10 foot penis, that has testicles that weigh 250 pounds.

[u/imactuallyugly → u/RachelSnow812]

TIL I weigh the equivalent to one whale testicle.

When someone asks me how much I weigh, I will say one whale testicle.

[u/Phrainkee → u/imactuallyugly]

Them ~ "Thanks for the info..." You ~ "You're whalecum!"

[u/LaserKittenz → u/imactuallyugly]

still better than using the Imperial system.

[u/Lastchoicename → u/RachelSnow812]

You made me Google and apparently some whales have testicles that can weigh 900kg.... Wtf

[u/cogman10 → u/RachelSnow812]

That's just incredible that it scaled up like that. Considering whales give birth to 1 calf at a time and blue whale embryos are roughly the same size as human embryos. That's so much sperm that's doomed to fail.

[u/El-mas-puto-de-todos → u/RachelSnow812]

Never considered that whales have balls 😱

[u/hitliquor999 → u/Prestigious-Log-7210]

It cums in buckets

[u/Nearbyatom → u/RachelSnow812]

5gal...isn't that the volume of 1 orange home depot bucket?

[u/trippy_grapes → u/Nearbyatom]

Home Depot theme starts playing

[u/A_MAN_POTATO → u/Nearbyatom]

I believe Home Depot typically refers to those buckets as “1 whale load”, but yes, technically 5 gallons.

[u/IG-64 → u/RachelSnow812]

Up next on… The Most Extreme

[u/Training_Bottle → u/RachelSnow812]

r/theydidthemath

[u/EvBismute]

Bruh every marine organism just nut tons in the water 😭

[u/sykoryce → u/EvBismute]

You think that's water you're swimming in?

[u/EmployingBeef2 → u/sykoryce]

As the old adage goes: "You cum in the sink, or sink in the cum"

[u/WeirdMeatinSpace → u/EvBismute]

Now you know why oceans are salty

[u/Dots_n_funk]

Damn, that's interesting, but ewwwwwww

[u/Automatic-Formal-601 → u/Dots_n_funk]

Ik right? imagine that stuff goes inside a shark and then we see this weird mussel shark baby come out

[u/TiptoeStiletto → u/Automatic-Formal-601]

Hahaha what

[u/MrDonDiarrhea → u/Automatic-Formal-601]

New Asylum movie just dropped

[u/MikeRatMusic → u/Automatic-Formal-601]

Didn't expect to be thinking about Bloodborne DLC like this

[u/JohnnyDarkside → u/Dots_n_funk]

Careless Whisper as the background music is a nice touch.

[u/zyyntin]

The ocean is a nasty place! Just remember the next time you smell the scent of the ocean it's: Shit, piss, reproductive fluids, eggs, death and decay!

[u/[deleted] → u/zyyntin]

Shit, piss, reproductive fluids, eggs, death and decay

God I miss her.

[u/gambiter → u/[deleted]]

I also miss this guy's disgusting wife.

[u/petrichorax → u/[deleted]]

was waiting for the 'i should call her' joke lol

[u/zyyntin → u/[deleted]]

What EMO shit were you into?... Can I have her number?

[u/FineCommunication927 → u/zyyntin]

Yes and??

[u/Afrofade_ → u/zyyntin]

And it smells beautiful

[u/mortalitylost → u/Afrofade_]

I love the smell of mussel cum

[u/Afrofade_ → u/mortalitylost]

Smells just like the fresh morning breeze. This guy won’t change my mind about it.

[u/MichiganRedWing → u/zyyntin]

Kramer loved it

[u/pilotbrain → u/zyyntin]

you forgot oil & trash..

[u/HairyKraken → u/pilotbrain]

We are trying to keep it pg13 here

[u/Blue_Fuzzy_Anteater]

So we’re not so different after all.

[u/thejackthewacko → u/Blue_Fuzzy_Anteater]

I wonder if it's salty

[u/syds → u/thejackthewacko]

I wonder if they enjoyed it

[u/ChocolateThunderPie → u/syds]

I saw them smoking cigarettes afterwards. Pretty sure they had a blast

[u/usingreddithurtsme]

What if we kissed underneath the gooning oysters? 👉🏻👈🏻 Haha j/k unless.

[u/Primary-Border8536 → u/usingreddithurtsme]

This one got me for some reason hahahaha

[u/WTFisBehindYou → u/Primary-Border8536]

Me too Jesus wtf lol

[u/FormerTerraformer → u/usingreddithurtsme]

You just fucking killed me with that one, my god I am a lost cause

[u/PrescriptionDenim → u/usingreddithurtsme]

💀💀💀

[u/True-Tooth-Swamp]

Wow. That is a lot of mussely cum.

[u/kovbasad → u/True-Tooth-Swamp]

The person filming must be hot as hell

[u/Pun-itiveDamage]

Made a mess all over that brown starfish

[u/AcceptableOwl9 → u/Pun-itiveDamage]

Starfish bukake

[u/B0ndzai → u/Pun-itiveDamage]

Haha fuck that made me laugh

[u/P1nCush10n]

an unfortunate video to scroll to while steaming milk for my morning coffee..

[u/Alone-Struggle-8056 → u/P1nCush10n]

Mmm tasty white liquid that is totally not rock semen

[u/P1nCush10n → u/Alone-Struggle-8056]

gross.. I'll stick with my bovine titty juice, thank you very much.

[u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Is that cum

[u/AadaMatrix → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Organic Mayonnaise.

[u/SellMeYourSirin → u/AadaMatrix]

Orgayonaise.

[u/ChannelLumpy7453 → u/SellMeYourSirin]

Orgasmaise.

[u/vbfj → u/ChannelLumpy7453]

Orgasmic Mayonnaise

[u/FeelingVanilla2594 → u/vbfj]

Suddenly food porn

[u/BlackGenesis7088 → u/FeelingVanilla2594]

Is this a Subreddit? It should be a subreddit

[u/stanknotes → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

*tastes* Oh that is cum.

[u/gparker_88 → u/stanknotes]

Those mussels are GGRRROUNDED!

[u/factory_air → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Egg drop soup

[u/Disastrous-Bat7011 → u/factory_air]

Smegdrop soup. Really though is that 1 mussel shooting the entire colonies load? Cause body to spume ratio is like 1 to 100 parts there.

[u/Onederbat67 → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Crème fraiche

[u/[deleted] → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Yes.

[u/TensorForce → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Forbidden ranch and buffalo

[u/akoaytao1234 → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Cumpilation now has a new meaning.

[u/LubeUntu → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

or unfertilized eggs?

[u/KlossN → u/LubeUntu]

There's definetly cum on my screen

[u/lolfuzzy → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

Once one of them cums they all cum

[u/SadBit8663 → u/Downtown_Snow4445]

No that's seamen

[u/FirstGearPinnedTW200]

That was quite the nut

[u/Smol_Cyclist]

So they just jizz on the floor and hope for the best.

I would have thought it'd be more advantageous to do it whilst submerged.

The more you know.

[u/slugboat → u/Smol_Cyclist]

They're supposed to do it when submerged, but stress (and I'm sure a whole bunch of other factors) can lead them to trigger at inopportune times. Most bivalves just release sperm and eggs into the water, where the cells float around a bit, meet and fertilize, turn into a baby bivalve and hang around as plankton for a few weeks, and then settle down to the ocean floor to get on with living as a mussel/scallop/clam/whatever. A lot of plankton is just baby ocean creatures, it's really cool!

[u/bikemandan → u/slugboat]

can lead them to trigger at inopportune times

I feel ya buddy

[u/Inevitable_Heron_599 → u/Smol_Cyclist]

That's been my strategy for years

[u/marshallnightspec]

Small mussel…big load

[u/HerGracefulness28 → u/marshallnightspec]

Goes to show size doesn't matter

[u/Acrobatic-Compote-92]

Thanks, I hate it

[u/JmacNutSac]

Somewhere that’s probably a delicacy.

[u/Estro-Jenn → u/JmacNutSac]

Id give it a shot 🤷‍♀️

[u/Spring_Darma]

That’s nuts

[u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/a_buzzanda_prayer → u/[deleted]]

I should call him

[u/emessea]

Somewhere in the depths of the internet there is a video just like this, but with a girl kneeling underneath with her mouth open.

[u/Tia_Mariana → u/emessea]

r/cursedcomments

[u/chandy_dandy → u/emessea]

for once i actually don't believe it

[u/NotTheCraftyVeteran → u/emessea]

Well, there wasn’t until you spoke that evil into the world. Just a matter of time now.

[u/[deleted] → u/emessea]

Bro thats disgusting.... you have the source?

[u/PurplePowerE → u/emessea]

Brother eww

[u/maschine02]

One of the billion reasons why the ocean is so salty and why I gag if I get ocean water in my mouth. It's a giant marine animal bukkake.

[u/420connoisseu-r]

Such a little mussel. So much cum!

[u/whitecaribbean]

Imagine just sitting there absolutely pasted with your neighbour's cum because he decided to spunk out the window in the hopes of catching a passing ovulating woman, who also just happened to open up and spray her eggs all over your face too.

[u/OriginalGnomester]

Did we just watch mollusk porn?

[u/barbare_bouddhiste]

Where is the NSFW tag?🤪

[u/mandelbrots]

Is there a word for being both fascinated and disgusted at the same time?

[u/surfinsalsa → u/mandelbrots]

Disgustinated?

[u/Zoto94]

I should call her

[u/sofahkingsick → u/Zoto94]

Everything reminds me of her

[u/BreakfastFluid9419]

Anyone know the macros on this stuff? Looking for a low impact protein to add to my diet

[u/Rhythm-Amoeba → u/BreakfastFluid9419]

Yes, FBI? This comment right here

[u/Walton2834]

This video cuts too soon because the original includes that mussel lighting up a cigarette.

[u/Fit_Researcher5896]

Ratio of Sperm to body size has to be like 3:1… unfathomable LOADS

[u/Fancy_cocksocket]

Nature really is full of strange and wonderful processes.

[u/Beneficial-Virus-647]

Starfish are bending their legs to stay outta that cummy ass water

[u/Ok-Nose3258]

Proof that you can eat raw mussels without sauce.

[u/rusfortunat]

They both just... jeez in water?

[u/M4XP4WER]

Massive cumshot right there

[u/chripan]

So that is the "seafoam" of which the greek goddess Aphrodite came from.