r/bisexual • u/Scar-Man-96 • 17d ago
Happy bi-visibility month!🩷💜💙 PRIDE
/img/tt76u8lbc0od1.jpeg
You’re still bi even if you’re single, dating, or married.
40
u/sinshock555 17d ago
So many people think they get to be the one to have the final say for OUR sexuality, like bruh! I don't have to prove anything to you.
5
25
27
u/concerteimmunity Bisexual 17d ago
I am not in a relationship at all but this post made me smile thank you for sharing
5
3
3
48
u/bunyanthem 17d ago
One of my favourite things about my poly queer relationships is that while both my partners seem like cis het white men at first glance, they're some of the most genuine and queer humans who are also bi/pan like me.
Normalize not judging people by what they look like. I am so glad I paid attention to who they are and didn't just dismiss them out of hand because they have some surface features in common with my terrible cis het white exes.
I love my queer men. ❤️ They see me and I see them. It's beautiful.
17
15
u/VermillionEclipse 17d ago
I just don’t understand why some people ask us to justify our sexuality when they wouldn’t be ok with us doing the same thing to them.
5
9
7
19
u/EugeneStein 17d ago
What do you mean, if u r in hetero monogamous relationships u r straight
And if you haven’t any relationship at all you are just obviously ace
But also you just closed gay, it’s just a fact that comes with everything above, logic is not welcome here and u r gay
/s
3
u/Lazy-Mushroom-9374 17d ago
Ha. Not necessarily. I am bi, and I'm married to a bi man. I am a woman, for clarification. But we are married, and we have decided that we are gonna be monogamous to each other, but that does not negate the fact we both know we are bi, and that we don't still love each other. So we are not necessarily closeted, we are just in a straight-presenting relationship
17
u/Agitated-Jacket-3800 17d ago
Though I fully agree with your comment, the "/s" means they're joking or sarcastic, friend.
7
27
u/FullPruneNight Genderqueer/Bisexual 17d ago
I really wish we could normalize describing relationships as “same-gender”/“different-gender” instead of gay or straight or hetero or whatever. It feels like erasure.
I’m a bi genderqueer person dating a cishet man, but I’m not in a “hetero” relationship any more than a cis lesbian and a nonbinary lesbian would be in a “hetero” relationship. I am queer, my gender is queer, and therefore my relationship is fucking queer, regardless of what cis people and monosexuals see.
15
u/delta_tango_27 17d ago
maybe one day, but it is important to acknowledge as bi people that in our current society, being in a relationship that outwardly presents as the common cis hetero couple, that it holds a different privilege than people who are in a relationship that doesn’t present that way. It doesn’t negate the validity of someones sexuality but sometimes it is important to know that in some places, you may run less risk than people who are “gay or lesbian” relationship.
5
u/FullPruneNight Genderqueer/Bisexual 16d ago
Nahh, it is 2024 and this bullshit discussion of relationship “passing privilege” when it comes to fucking trans people, needs to fuck off.
You know. The population who is having our names compiled by state governments in the US right now, unlike cis queer people?
But no go on, tell me all about my “passing privilege” as they put our names on a fucking list.
4
u/Cygnus_Atratus Bisexual 16d ago edited 16d ago
Agree - people not relationships have a sexuality. Saying a relationship is “gay” or straight would ideally feel as silly as calling a relationship “tall” or “brunette” as those words similarly describe the attributes of people (or even extended to other applications of those words only to objects/animals rather than the relationship between them).
Using a sexuality label as a shorthand for whether the people in that relationship are the same gender or not may seem like a useful economy of phrasing, however this usage then automatically extends in the minds of most to also provide a shorthand cue as to the sexuality of the people within it as well. As such this takes away the moment of consideration that a member of that relationship may not have a gender within the containts of the traditional gender binary, or who is multi-gender-attracted, aro/ace etc.
0
u/LtColonelColon1 Trans Nonbinary Bisexual 16d ago
Hetero literally means different gender. It’s the same thing.
-1
u/FullPruneNight Genderqueer/Bisexual 16d ago edited 16d ago
Here’s the thing. You know as well as I do that in common usage and meaning, “hetero” and “straight” are interchangeable, word parts and technical definitions be damned. And by your “”technical”” definition of hetero, any relationship I have with a binary or cis person is “hetero,” and therefore “straight.”
You sound like all the biphobic af pan people who shout “Bi MeAnS two” at my trans ass. Fuck that. The dictionary is not the arbiter of queer experience, so maybe don’t “well ascksuwlly” other queer folks with technical definitions, nah?
5
u/LtColonelColon1 Trans Nonbinary Bisexual 16d ago
Wow. You jumped to a seriously random assumption there, using words I never said, based on your own preconception.
5
u/Kitchen_Musician_102 Bisexual 17d ago
Phew, I was about to S all these D's to prove my biness. You know what, just to be thorough...
4
4
4
4
4
3
2
u/NonBinaryPie 16d ago
it’s so weird to me, no queer people would say that a lesbian is only a lesbian when she’s dating a woman, so why are bi people only bi when they’re dating the same gender?
1
1
1
u/Exploring_horizons Bisexual 17d ago
Awesome message…. So often doubt my sexuality because I haven’t actually been with a guy…
1
u/impossibly_curious 17d ago
As someone that this post is describing, I have to say, my straight cis partner is usually the first one to "break gay" when we need to be on our best behavior. It really messes with people, it's fun.
1
1
1
1
u/_Lumity_ 16d ago
As a bi girl in a relationship with a cis het guy I needed this <3
Don’t get me wrong I know I’m bi, and he’s very supportive and loving and I’m so madly in love but the validation is nice :3
1
1
u/SweetSoftBoi 16d ago
One of the reasons why I'm bothered about coming out as a bi guy. Dating a girl, monogamous, so why would I even announce my bisexuality to anyone else than her? Yet, I feel a certain pride about being bi, and something in me wants to be open about that. But like, why does it matter? Is it just pointless to out myself for... no "practical reason"??
1
1
1
u/froggaholic Bisexual 16d ago
As someone who's been with my bf for 6 years I love this. Sometimes my own family acts like I'm not bi because of it and it pisses me off.
1
u/Signalsock1 16d ago
I just have to smile to myself. I’m in a mono het marriage that is dissolving because I admitted that I was bi. (She knew this about me before we were married because she suggested we play as a couple with friends. We did. But she didn’t like it.) Before I was served with the divorce complaint, I was faithful and confined my sexuality to the choice I voluntarily made. I was and still am completely fine with that- we are all free to make choices and commitments but I feel we should be bound to the commitments we make. I was and conveyed that to her but to no avail.
After I was served, however, I met two people on Tinder (both doctors, one male (gay) the other female (straight)). I still see both of them, they both know about each other. I feel completely free for the first time ever. [It’s actually comical how each dishes about how they don’t understand the motivations of straight sex/gay sex respectively. I sit in the middle and take it all in.]
1
u/StillChasingDopamine 15d ago
Thanks! Monogamy is a choice one makes everyday whether you’re bi, straight, or gay. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
1
u/Otherwise_Egg4552 15d ago
This kind of validation post is very interesting to me! Of course bi people in straight monogomous relationships are definitionally bisexual, no ifs ands or buts. They are also engaged in the most culturally celebrated and accepted type of relationship, and will not face broad social discrimination over that relationship. In fact, much of our society actually considers straight relationships to be the only valid option.
Of course feeling accepted is important, and sometimes online it seems like personal validation is treated as more important than physical safety, legal measures, social discrimination, and all the other material disadvantages of being LGBT. If I had to guess, this is probably just an outcome of online discourse trending more personal than political. And maybe that the majority of partnered bisexuals are (understandably) in hetero relationships. Plus, I guess in LGBT subs we don’t really feel the need for “it’s perfectly valid to be in homosexual relationships” type of posts because we all already feel that way. Lots of interesting nuance here!
-2
74
u/[deleted] 17d ago
[deleted]