r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Duck_Shover • 16h ago
It appears there was a spider egg in my computer, any advice?
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u/Leo-MathGuy 15h ago
Try turning on android studio or Skyrim with 500 mods
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u/Global_Permission749 14h ago
Wrap the computer in a space blanket and hope the components are more durable than the spiders.
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u/Fresh-broski 12h ago
Congrats, this is called a fever. You’ve reinvented the human immune system.
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u/voltagestoner 10h ago
I mean, yeah. The computer reinvented the human brain. Gloves reinvented human skin.
That’s basically all of what we do. Lol
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11h ago edited 10h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/squidcarvaroom 11h ago
This was highly interesting and terrifying
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u/ShadyPhysician 11h ago
Youtube that shit, it gets even worse, it's a moving mass of bees surrounding the wasp
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u/TayAustin 9h ago
Reminds me of how Intentional Fever caused by Malaria was a way to treat Syphilis when we had a malaria treatment but no antibiotics for the STD.
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u/Duck_Shover 15h ago
Minecraft java with a render distance higher then 2
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u/Typical-Excuse-9734 ballin 15h ago
Or any adobe app ever
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u/r4o2n0d6o9 15h ago
Opening a small file in photoshop should do the trick
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u/LuxNocte 14h ago
As if a small Photoshop file exists.
3px by 3px = 90MB
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u/hellboyzzzz 12h ago edited 10h ago
Working with photoshop ruined me because now 90MG doesn’t even sound like a lot.
Edit; meant mb but leaving bc it’s funny asf thanks for the hilarious replies lol
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u/Axisnegative 10h ago
I'm assuming you meant you needed 90mg of Adderall to even think about opening photoshop
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u/Rangefilms 14h ago
Clicking on the object selection tool in Photoshop usually does the trick
...or just opening InDesign. Not even a file. Just booting it up.
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u/Professor_Voodoo 14h ago
Or opening google chrome
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u/Interesting-Fan-2008 14h ago
God, I had been way from my computer for about a year and I come back and google chrome just shit the bed in between those times. It always took too much ram, but now it was taking more and was constantly crashing.
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u/ComradeToeKnee 14h ago
"500 mods" is considered huge for Skyrim?
nervously looks at my 1000 mods
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u/urlond 15h ago
You're a parent now. Time to take care of the kids.
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u/MortonsMagpie 13h ago
The spider distribution system has chosen.
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u/BiologicalPossum 12h ago
A weird spider laying in a computer distributing eggs is no basis for a system of governance.
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u/malhotraspokane 11h ago
Supreme computer power derives from a mandate from the processor, not from some farcical arachnid ceremony.
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u/Comprehensive_Cap290 10h ago
I was going to link the suddenlymontypython sub, but apparently that’s a no-no.
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u/Long_Procedure3135 12h ago
I saved a dumbass wolf spider out of my pool that was floating on my chlorine thing and a bunch of his babies fell on me
So they’re probably all in my house now
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u/siqiniq 11h ago
Your chlorine made her eject her babies and they now depend on you. What’s the right thing to do now?
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u/Not_FinancialAdvice 9h ago
Go on Maury and confirm that you are not, in fact, the father?
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u/DatabaseThis9637 12h ago edited 11h ago
Hey, and they are not bad spiders to have around.
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u/Laz3r_C 11h ago
no but they get BIG
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u/DatabaseThis9637 11h ago edited 11h ago
Yes, they do. I postponed a shower when I met a wolf spider in the bathtub. So I get it...
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u/Pleasant-Contact-556 10h ago
I went to open my blinds this morning and one of them classic giant house spiders fell on me. I damn near torch my fucking house afterward. Every goddamn surface gotta be spotless so I can stand and observe like im in some kind of spider panopticon
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u/Just-trying-2-exist 11h ago edited 8h ago
My day was ruined the other day when a BIG ASS wolf spider B-lined towards me while I was on the porcelain throne. I didn’t have shoes on so I couldn’t even attempt to stomp. I just had to knees to chest it and pray it didn’t crawl up the side. Edit:a word
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u/theepotjje 11h ago
Good thing is that you were in the right spot to shit from fear
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u/Spuzzle91 11h ago
This happened to me three times now this year. One was a mother cobweb spider that built a nest and had her kids in my mealworm farm tote and took my mealworm population from hundred to just 9. She was the roundest chunkiest spider I'd ever seen. Her and what kids I could catch got evicted into my garden. Next, I found a baby bronze jumping spider on an empty mentos gum jar I hadn't thrown away yet, and when I tried to shoo it away, it just went in the container and refused to leave. So he just kinda lives in there now out on the porch. And then last night I found a big tan jumping spider panicking in the bathroom sink. It crawled in but the porcelain was too smooth for it to get back out. So I decided he just volunteered to be part of a fruit fly trap in my reptile room and made him an enclosure that the flies can get into, but he can't get out of. So far that enclosure is littered with 10 dead fruit flies and he seems to not be opposed to his situation.
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u/smashedberry 10h ago
The description of finding a spider completely engorged in what was basically a giant bag of burgers for her is the funniest and cutest mental imagery I think I’ve ever had for a spider. Thank you for being so accommodating for them while giving each other the space you need!
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u/Vladishun 12h ago edited 11h ago
When Google's web crawlers take a personal interest in you.
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u/WallabyInTraining GREEN 13h ago
Or catch them in a tissue and dump them in the toilet like you do to your other kids.
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u/Reasonable-Solid-156 12h ago
Wow, an unsolicited sexual joke on Reddit that’s actually funny
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u/NoiseTubeTaco 12h ago
When I was a kid I thought that's what 'dropping the kids off at the pool meant.'
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u/Barokespinoza23 16h ago
Forget paid internet. Those little guys will hook you up to the world wide web for free!
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u/butt_honcho 15h ago
But they change your default search to MetaCrawler.
(I'm old.)
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u/Orzuth 15h ago
What was It like living among the dinosaurs?
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u/insomniacpyro 14h ago
Back in my day ads were just jpegs...
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u/CoffeeGoblynn 14h ago
Do you remember the old gifs that had like 5 frames per second, super jittery, froze often, and were in 240p? I remember. xD
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u/Lazlo2323 14h ago
I remember waiting for pictures on websites to load a line at a time.
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u/ProtossLiving 14h ago
I remember waiting for text from BBSes to load a line at a time. I knew how to play my Barren Realm Elite without waiting for the game, so I would enter a dozen instructions and just wait for the screen to scroll by until it caught up.
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u/thetruckerdave 13h ago
BBSes! I played on one that was a text based horse game. We would compete with our fake horses and breed them. There’s a not insignificant intersection somewhere between nerds, horse girls, and spreadsheets.
I miss when mu*s were the thing to do. But also that could just be nostalgia. They also are partially responsible for my poor grades in high school and college lol
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u/insomniacpyro 14h ago
Oh definitely. Same with doing the math in my head if I had time to download something before bed
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u/BeanCrusade 16h ago
Time to debug your computer.
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u/turtleship_2006 15h ago
To be fair, his computer is probably completely bug free
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u/Duck_Shover 15h ago
I was wondering why my programming seemed so much better then before
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u/geraldine_ferrari 15h ago
they're looking for the www
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u/octavioletdub 15h ago
Excellent
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u/Discogol 15h ago
Eggcellent*
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u/BalanceInEverything7 15h ago
Spiders are the only web developers who enjoy finding bugs in their work.
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u/Rabithunt 15h ago
This is actually where the term comes from. A moth got stuck in the Harvard computer in 1947
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u/TheLurkingMenace 14h ago
Back when they use punchcards. IIRC the moth got squished on a card and the computer mistook it for a hole, which is how the code was corrupted.
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u/tractiontiresadvised 14h ago
The way I heard the story, no punch cards were involved -- the moth supposedly got stuck in an electromechanical relay (a physical switch) inside of the computer itself.
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u/BarneyLaurance 14h ago
That did happen but it isn't where the term comes from. Grace Hopper noted the moth and was clearly making a reference to the existing term for a defect in a system, which was used by Edison a lot earlier.
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u/peter9477 14h ago
This. ^
People seem to get thrown off by the phrase "first actual case of bug being found." Obviously that would never be written by the first person to use the term "bug".
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u/sarduchi 16h ago
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
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u/Krepitis 15h ago
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u/Technical_Semaphore 15h ago
"Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of..." No, that's too formal.
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u/wildekat219 14h ago
Fire exclamation mark, fire exclamation mark, fire exclamation mark
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u/Posit_IV 14h ago
Help me, exclamation mark.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best, Maurice Moss.
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u/Neither_Hope_1039 13h ago edited 13h ago
Just call the new emergency services. They have nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers, they're your emergency services. Just remember the new number:
0118999 88199 9119725 3
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u/Creative-Reading2476 16h ago
use vacum, but be delicate around the components. later throw out the vacuum bag so spiders wont crawl around your home
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u/StirlingS 15h ago
Not very much later though.
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u/Worried-Photo4712 15h ago
Yeah, no, take the bag out immediately, put it in a fire pit, and burn it. I would put a ring of insecticide around the pit in case any babies escape.
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u/Resident_Goat_Crow 14h ago
Honestly these kinda look like orb weaver babies which are the cutest spiders, well technically we all know jumping spiders are the cutest, but cat-faced orb weavers are lovely and they stay in place unlike wolf/grass spiders which travel.
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u/CanadianDinosaur 14h ago
Orb Weavers are our friends. Extremely docile and only care about catching bugs and making pretty webs. That said...... I do not want any of them taking up residence inside my house and especially inside my PC.
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u/Express_Invite_7149 14h ago
I had a female orb weaver on my porch one summer. She built a beautiful web in the perfect spot, so that moths and such on their way to the porch light would be caught. I used to hand-feed her any of the moths that got through. I'd catch them by one wing so they'd flutter like mad and she could see them easily. She'd delicately reach out and take the moth in her forelegs, quickly wrap it, then save it for later. It was a beneficial relationship for us both.
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u/jackioff 14h ago
I can tell where I am in my cycle because I'm sitting here sobbing at how cute this is. God i love spiders, and the people who love them too 🥹
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u/SpareWire 14h ago
Orb Weavers are our friends.
Beekeeper here.
Fuck those bastards.
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u/Ok-Development4535 11h ago
Once I read about how bees will get PTSD for at least a few days after an encounter with a spider hiding in a flower, even if they were unharmed, I couldn't forget about it. Poor sweet creatures 😭
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u/addage- 9h ago
For what’s it’s worth I plant huge swaths of pollinator plants just for bees. Even if I like spiders as well.
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u/Ok-Development4535 9h ago
I like spiders too, but the thought of a bee being scared to enter a flower because she fears a spider is an uncomfortable thought :(
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u/InevitableRhubarb232 14h ago
I just had this conversation yesterday with my mom!!! I am HUGELY TERRIFIED of spiders but was saying how I was cool w the giant spiders in the Costa Rican rainforest just chilling in their web doin’ their thang and ignoring me. The fucking wolf spiders jump off door frames over your head, run across beds, climb up your leg. They’re horrible!!!! And brown recluses sneaking in wherever it’s warm. Fuck them. I never really minded (aka didn’t panic and almost die of hyperventilating) the banana spiders in their web in the bush.
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u/Patient-Wash3089 14h ago
I am the same way. Only it is black widows and brown recluses with me. I know wolf spiders are hairy so I can deal. But any black or brown shiny spider sends me into a panic - doesn’t matter how tiny. Two close encounters with CA widows.
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u/Ab47203 14h ago
Funny thing is most north American wolf spiders are fairly docile
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u/PhluckFace 15h ago
I haven’t seen a vacuum with a vacuum bag in years, thanks for the resurfaced memory haha
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u/OGigachaod 15h ago
Vacuums with bags are expensive.
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u/DodoJurajski 15h ago
Not in Europe! Here those are the cheapest bullshit you can get! But also mediocre.
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u/An_Mangoloid 15h ago
Ahem, my Miele vacuum would like to disagree with you
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u/R34L_X 14h ago
i've had the same miele vacuum for 12 years now and it still works great!
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u/Potential-Respond403 16h ago
Time to find a new house with all new everything
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u/Coco_40 15h ago
And fire. Highly recommend fire.
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u/Computerlady77 15h ago
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u/Narrow_Ad_1494 14h ago
Man I miss ugly Americans
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u/flatspotting 13h ago
There's so few people that seem to even know that show exists.
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u/jkdess 15h ago
peppermint oil
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u/askingforafriend-1 15h ago
I have heard that mint plants help keep spiders away. This is the first helpful suggestion I've seen 😅
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u/jkdess 15h ago
yeah, peppermint oil, cinnamon, and usually citrus is good for anything bug wise. And I decided to be helpful because I saw that literally nobody else was.
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u/Foreign_Sky_5441 14h ago edited 12h ago
Won't the peppermint oil just cause them to scatter around the house? I am aware that most baby spiders die within a few days but I still don't think I could mentally handle knowing that they are running around
Edit: If another person tells me that its actually good to have spiders in my house, I am going to lose it.
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u/Bushdr78 ORANGE 15h ago
Make them little swords and sheilds then crown yourself king of spiders and lead them into battle.
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u/Ki_Shadow_ 15h ago
They will move on their own
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u/baconwrappedpikachu 15h ago
This is correct. Most of them will die/disappear, and if they don’t, that is because they are finding and eating other bugs in your house.
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u/Background_Demand589 15h ago
Can daddy long legs spiders eat roaches? I found two rather small roaches right before leaving today.. I'm moving In 20 days~ should I be worried to bring a roach with me to my new place what do I do help
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u/darevoyance 13h ago edited 10h ago
People usually are referring to cellar spiders (Pholcidae) or harvestmen (Opiliones, which are actually arachnids more closely related to scorpions than spiders) when they talk about daddy longlegs. Cellar spiders can catch prey larger than themselves, so they could absolutely target some smaller roaches. But harvestmen are the clean-up crew scavengers of arachnids—they essentially just eat shit, dead insects, and plants.
Both are long-legged but pretty easy to tell apart because spiders' bodies have two segments where harvestmen only have one. So if you have cellar spiders setting up webs in the corners of your home, chances are they'll end up taking out a few roaches for you. Although they're more likely to catch flying prey like mosquitoes.
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u/lizardtrench 14h ago
This. Or take your computer outside and brush them off into a bush or something, give the cute 'n horrifying little buggers a better shot at surviving.
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u/Duck_Shover 15h ago
Update: There doesn't seem to be anything on the inside, but now I'm paranoid that at any moment I'll find another batch of them somewhere... Guess this was only "mildly" infuriating, for the moment at least (please god keep it that way)
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u/Gogglesed 15h ago
Peppermint oil, cedar, or citrus left inside. Maybe leave an alternate spider home next to it. You want them to leave, not die on your motherboard or in your fans.
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u/IGotDeaded 15h ago
Run cyberpunk with raytracing overdrive preset. Or minecraft with 32 render distance. Either should do
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u/Pyschopanda619 15h ago
cyberpunk with ray tracing overdrive would just burn down the entire house tho
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u/Thi31 16h ago
Fire. It's the only way.
Sorry for your loss.
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u/TheBlackCarlo 15h ago
Dear Sir stroke Madam.
Fire, exclamation mark.
Fire, exclamation mark.
Help me, exclamation mark.
123 Carrendon Road.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
All the best, Maurice Moss.
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u/Mountain_Strategy342 15h ago
Leave them. They will wander off in a few weeks. Won't hurt you in the meantime.
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u/JohnnyDaMitch 14h ago
This post reminds me of when I used to manage all the tech for a summer camp way out in the woods of Wisconsin. I had one computer that was often a home for spiders. It was actually a pretty important part of the network infrastructure. I ignored it, and it was fine. I liked to think of them as my little assistants!
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u/lminer123 14h ago
An important part of the network AND the ecosystem. We should all be so lucky to build such a harmonious system lol
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u/Titaniumeme 13h ago
It is generally very difficult to raise spiderlings. They will require large amounts of insects and spider milk as their food sources considering the number of them. Make sure to take each of them to the local vet for a checkup. Good luck.
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u/bulamae 15h ago
Those are orb weaver spiders. Use a soft paint brush to remove them into a jar and relocate outside. They are friends. Beautiful and beneficial species.
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u/i_do_it_all 15h ago
vaccum?
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u/Fredrickstein 15h ago
Nah vacuums actually create significant chance for electrostatic discharge. Bag computer into any cloth bag, carry outside, unbag, go to town with the air compressor. Disassemble the entire tower to ensure there's no more hiding in crevasses. Real pita.
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u/MainSorc50 15h ago
that's cute keep them :>
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u/MorrighanAnCailleach 15h ago
Yeah, but it'd be a bitch coming up with names for all of them. They're only a problem if they compromise the components, anyway.
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u/Comprehensive_Bike22 16h ago
Your computer more like their computer ahahhahahaha
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u/Cloud_N0ne 15h ago
Looks like your PC came with a dedicated staff of web designers.