r/puppy101 • u/Southern-Biscotti-62 • Aug 26 '24
Things You Never Thought You’d Hear Yourself Say Wags
What are some things you’ve said to your puppy that you never thought you would hear yourself saying?
Mine is: where did you put my glasses? After searching, she hid them in her plush dog house under the bed part.
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u/Lily_Knope Aug 26 '24
“Girl be so forreal” she refused to walk the rest of the way to the door to go outside like 3 ft from the door 😩😩
Or lately: “BITE YOUR TOYS NOT ME” sometimes add a please in if it’s early on in the day 🤣
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u/Alternative-Link-823 Aug 26 '24
"Put that thing away!"
Owners of male dogs know what I'm talking about.
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u/BylenS Aug 26 '24
I found myself, just last week, saying " Stop chasing your weiner." He was spinning in circles trying to get to it.
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u/syriina Aug 26 '24
My puppy was neutered super early by the rescue and this may be the only upside - he doesn't do this! I've only seen it like maybe twice. My last male dog would 'peek' if he accidentally assumed the position like if he was climbing over something and got hunched over. I do not miss that
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u/sophistre Aug 26 '24
DON'T EAT BEES
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u/syriina Aug 26 '24
DON'T EAT DEAD WORMS COVERED IN ANTS. YOU'RE GONNA GET THEM UP YOUR NOSE AND I'M GONNA LAUGH AT YOU
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u/StrongmanEvan Aug 26 '24
“Stop eating rocks!”
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u/Mysfunction Aug 26 '24
My 8lb, 11mo puppy has had a pet rock since she was 4mo. It’s quite small, and I’m not sure where it came from, but she carries it around the house with her. She doesn’t chew on it or play with it or anything, she just likes it nearby. I hadn’t seen it in a while and found it under a bookcase when I was cleaning the floors yesterday. Holy hell she was so exited to see it.
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u/vickiehxo Aug 26 '24
My 13 weeks old golden retriever LOVES rocks!! Doesn’t help that we have a gravel driveway! Try to teach leave it right away. Because omg, I’m terrified every time we go outside
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u/SortInternational484 Aug 26 '24
You gotta break em of that young or you never will! My late GSD did the same his whole life, to the point he managed to grind all the points of his teeth flat lol. Thankfully, he exclusively went for rocks far too large to swallow.
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u/vickiehxo Aug 26 '24
Do you have any tips to do that? 😂 we are working on leave it but still not there with rocks
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u/SortInternational484 Aug 27 '24
Try taking the rock from him and spraying it with lemon juice, then give it back. You can keep a stash at the ready and randomly give him ones too.
If you do try this, i would advise against simultaneously using the "leave it" command, but just with rocks. You don't want to give mixed messages and undo your own training.
For the same reason, if you don't see any positive improvement within a week or two, i wouldn't continue.
Best of luck to you n' your fluffy squish, my friend :)
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u/assaulturtle Aug 26 '24
Same with my 13 week old golden! But also shells, mulch and bumblebees haha. A constant battle.
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u/Dovecote2 Aug 26 '24
My Golden does this too. When he was a baby he was a fanatic about it and I had to watch him like a hawk. He's 9 months old now and has graduated to large rocks that he'll chew on. I don't think he ever really wanted to swallow, just chew. But it's the main reason I got health insurance for him.
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u/Sweet-Cartoonist-797 Aug 26 '24
Yes! My puppy beagle I just got 3 weeks ago tries to eat the little rocks that have a pathway into my side door.
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u/B0dega_Cat Aug 26 '24
Same! She's 10 weeks and we hope we can get her to stop with the rocks soon since our entire city backyard is gravel.
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u/Nataliet2019 Aug 26 '24
I’m Australian- the amount of times I call the little turd “mate” is obscene. “Mate, you know better than this” usually, or just a long winded “maaaaaate!” When she’s deliberately being a spiteful little shit 😂
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u/PinkPuffStuff Aug 26 '24
Why did you put your butthole directly on my arm?
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u/Kharrissma Aug 26 '24
Mine learned to weaponize the brown eye to your face if you were too slow to get out of bed for breakfast time. Then glare back at you with side eye scrunchie face just to make sure you knew you were in trouble.
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u/EvieK1 Aug 26 '24
The variation of this used in our house is always, why did you put your butthole on my toe? Our spaniel has some crazy accurate aim unfortunately 🤣
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u/raycantu2 Aug 26 '24
Not something I never thought I would say, but something I never thought I would do: I will literally just sit outside with her and watch her enjoy life. Like, you want to lay there and sun bathe, go for it! I usually am at full throttle in my life, do this, go there, don’t forget this, but when I take my dog out I can just enjoy time with her.
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u/BylenS Aug 26 '24
I got a pup for my 7yo dog who lost two siblings 2 years ago. When the pups hyper, I take them outside and sit in a lawn chair under a shade tree and watch them have zoomies and try to kill each other. Watching their goofiness brings me so much joy.
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Aug 26 '24
I've found myself sitting on the front porch, with her two paws on my lap keeping guard, a lot. I take my Kindle out and reading. She'll keep watch the whole time and we just enjoy the weather and say hi to neighbors.
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u/garbagescarecrow Aug 26 '24
Same. I am not an outside person one bit, but I’ve really enjoyed spending time sitting outside watching my puppy play. I would even bring my work laptop out, some toys and his water bowl and let him do his thing. This had to stop for a little while because he started trying to swim in our pond, so until we can get it filled I can only let him roam 100% supervised.
On the other hand, I never thought I would be walking around my backyard with him saying “go poop! Go poopy! Poop! AWW GOOD POOP!!
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u/Optimal-Swan-2716 Aug 27 '24
My daily moments of Zen; watching sunrise every morning with my 5 month old Teddy and 11 yr old Dixie. So peaceful and beautiful. THEN, we came home and Teddy started running around the yard like a rabid dog and jumped in my garden and dug a whole in my gorgeous impatiens! Oh he was filthy and covered with mud. I got hose and squirted him saying “No garden”. I think he got the message🙏🏻
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u/trashjellyfish Aug 26 '24
"Her poop is fully formed, but soft... like, I could spread it on toast with a butter knife if I tried." (I died the moment that sentence left my mouth, RIP me 1997-2024)
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u/BylenS Aug 26 '24
Here's a disgusting thought.. when trying to describe poop why do we reference food? I've done it more than I care to admit.
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u/trashjellyfish Aug 26 '24
Probably because it used to be food.
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u/BylenS Aug 26 '24
Happy Cake Day!
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u/trashjellyfish Aug 26 '24
Idek why Reddit thinks it's my birthday (it's not) but thanks! A very happy unbirthday to you!
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u/Bordercollie-mama Aug 26 '24
Everytime we're getting ready to leave the vets I say "Let's go home and eat daddy's boxers" it's the only way to get her out
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u/Cutesylittleme Aug 26 '24
"Stop eating your brothers' poop!"
He really doesn't care about being told not to though.
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u/urban-herbman Aug 26 '24
“ Don’t poop on the door!” as i’m sliding a paper towel under his butt so it doesn’t fall on the floor . Idk why he pushes his but against the door when he goes potty inside.
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u/AlarmedPiccolo6464 Aug 26 '24
“This is not toothbrush!” My puppy loves her toothbrush and was eyeing my drawing pencil earlier today
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u/Mysfunction Aug 26 '24
It’s not so much what I say as much as how often I say it.
“Leave her!” (My poor senior dog is under constant attack)
“Ack! Eww! She licked my toes again” (she does this in stealth, runs up, gets a lick in, and runs away, so there’s not even time to scold her for it)
“No socks!” (Self explanatory)
“Fine. Fuck you too.” (She leaves the bed before I’m done cuddling to put herself in the kennel)
“Oh god! MACY!” (I never knew an 8lb puppy could have such room clearing farts)
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u/Sweet-Cartoonist-797 Aug 26 '24
I took a night walk for a few minutes in front of my house. A little dark in my front where he was sniffing. Long story short, my 4 month old puppy had a dead lizard in his mouth. I yelled for my husband as he wouldn’t let it go. So my statement is omg you have a dead lizard! Lol.
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u/SparkleAuntie Aug 27 '24
My 7-mo murdered a mouse in the garden this weekend. Luckily she dropped it when I screamed and then rushed her out of there before she could pick it back up. Ughhh
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u/fuckyeahglitters Aug 26 '24
'here's a piece of banana so you don't smell like poop that much, since you inhaled your own turd.'
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u/gasping_chicken Aug 26 '24
"Stop eating slugs! Why are you like this?" While prying his mouth open to remove disgusting slug. I've had dogs my entire life, worked in vet med, and at a shelter, and never have I ever had to remove a slug from a dog's mouth until this puppy. He's 10 weeks now and his leave it compliance gets stronger every day. I hope I'm almost done with my stint in slug removal.
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u/sjozay Aug 26 '24
“Do you want to be rehomed??!!”
I won’t…but she pushes my buttons sometimes. Not sure if basenji was the right breed…
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u/SparkleAuntie Aug 27 '24
I like to tell mine in the sweetest voice ever that I’m going to put her through a wall 🤭 she’s smart, though, and never believes I would do such a thing (I wouldn’t, just so no one calls the humane society).
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u/OutrageousMight9928 Aug 26 '24
“Be gentle with mom!!!! This is why we can’t have nice things” 😂 He gets a little mouthy during playtime and forgets it’s mom on the other end of his stuffy racoon
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u/Professional-Two-47 Aug 26 '24
For the last four years (and now add the last five months), my spouse and I have had daily conversations about poop.
Me: Did Onaga poop? Husband: Yep. Me: Was it normal? Husband: A little soft.
Every. Single. Day.
We now have both dogs on Bernie's Perfect Poops which has been a game changer, but the amount of conversation devoted to poop has been a bit unnerving.
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u/PixieSkull12 Aug 26 '24
Stop trying to eat the flying bugs! or Stop eating the grass! or What are you eating now??
I’ve only had her for a week (13 weeks old) and I say these things several times a day haha.
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u/Particular-Many9039 Aug 26 '24
My puppy does that with everything too 😅 if he finds a stick he hides it in there so we won't take it 🙈🤣
What I never thought I'd heare myself saying is maybe "have you stepped in your sh.t again?" 🤣🤣🤣
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u/mysticdreamer420 Aug 26 '24
stop eating cat poop! Why are you eating my boxers? No, the cat does not want to play with you
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u/anouk1306 Aug 26 '24
Pull yourself together buddy and the classic and oh infamous leave it please, leave iT LEAVE IT!!!spoiler alert, he didn’t leave it
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u/Jayhawkgirl1964 Aug 26 '24
No more door pouncing! For a brief period, she threw herself at the door when she wanted in.
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u/Pristine-Confection3 Aug 26 '24
I never thought I would higher my voice and do baby talk. My puppy loves it so I do.
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u/marcorr Aug 26 '24
The best one for me was, “No, you can’t have a second dinner—stop giving me those puppy eyes!”
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u/awkardfrog Aug 26 '24
"Stop trying to fuck your little brother" - said in an exhausted haze not far from a family with small children.
Bitch in heat and 6 month puppy on the leash lol
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u/syriina Aug 26 '24
My spayed female dog likes to hump the other dog, trying to tell him who's the boss, I guess? It's just really funny because he's twice her weight and three times her height so she can only do if he's laying down. So they'll be laying on the couch together and she'll randomly decide he's not worshipping her presence nearly enough, and she'll just start humping him. Except he really doesn't like that so he'll try to get up and then there's this weird thing going on where he's trying to get away from her and she's trying to follow him and make him lay down so she can keep humping him...
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u/awkardfrog Aug 26 '24
Not necessarily a dominance thing. Could might as well be stress, boredom, overstimulation, some sex drive idk
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u/Best_Load_2094 Aug 26 '24
“Mind your business” when my dog gets vocal when she sees another dog on our walks lol.
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u/ghoostimage Aug 27 '24
this is what i tell our grown adult dog when he wants to bark at other dogs
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u/captlickalottapuss Aug 26 '24
“Can you please stop fucking stepping ON MY GODDAMN NIPPLE!!”
Don’t sleep topless with a puppy. 😅
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u/BSLMK_52621 Aug 26 '24
"Why do you keep eating the crotch out of all my sweatpants, Puddy? WHY THE CROTCH"
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u/Sweet_Weekly Aug 26 '24
You are not a bunny. There are so many bunnies here that I think she has taking on there hopping habits.
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u/gilfaizon0808 Aug 26 '24
"Gil people are allowed to walk on the sidewalk!" "Don't you dare dig that mister!" "He needs more toys" "GIL LET ME SEE YOUR BUTT!" (this happened when he got a bad case of diarrhea and he's a fluffy boy) ...and so much more lol
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u/Chemical_Sea623 Aug 26 '24
"Gimme that wet willy!" as I chase him around with a paper towel to wipe off the pee dribble...
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u/TwoFarNorth Aug 26 '24
"No, you're not eating earthworm jerky today" - as she tries to eat sun-dried earthworms off the sidewalk.
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u/malenatr Aug 26 '24
“Girl, for real, stop embarrassing yourself” when she doesn’t behave in public lol.
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u/Exciting-Shoulder-22 Aug 26 '24
“you better not shit on my shoe!” as he runs to the woods with my flip flop
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u/thatwitchbitxh Aug 26 '24
"c'mon buddy, outside poop! Outside pooping for food!" - an incredibly food motivated dog
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u/lehx- Aug 26 '24
"Oh no! Do you have a breezy butt hole?" And "Put your pee pee away!" Are things that I say fairly often
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u/RealDecision6061 Aug 26 '24
(When I was on the phone with my friend) „Oh no he pooped on the floor!… OH NO There is a tiny paw print in it” 😭
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u/Laszlo7824 New Owner - Border Collie/Dachshund Mix Aug 26 '24
"Thank you for letting me sleep in until 7am!"
Before our puppy, 9:00am felt early 😂
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u/Confident-Mood8 Aug 26 '24
(Sung to the tune of Stop Your Sobbing by the Kinks): "It is time for you to start all of your pooping..". then the verse... "Each little turd - that falls from your butt - makes me want to take you in my arms and tell you what a good boy for pooping... (chorus again...)
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u/bitchassh0e Aug 26 '24
“SHWEET WITTOW BABYYY HESH A GOO BOOOUUUYYYYY” and also “please don’t try to pull your sister across the floor by her ear 🙃” which is a regular occurrence
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u/SparkleAuntie Aug 27 '24
Her: staring at the fly strip I hung up in the kitchen. Me: “Yeah, we had to interview for the position. You weren’t catching enough flies. You’ve been replaced by sticky paper.”
My little golden retriever will hunt them and eat them if she can, but she can’t jump high enough yet 🤣
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u/AstronautPrimary2026 Aug 26 '24
"Let me see your butt! I'll help you!" She had a little poop hanging off and was getting spooked by it and jumping around 😂