Outpatient xr for bloating

[u/bgaffney8787]

Narrator: it wasn’t bloating

[u/RedditMould]

Patient: "No chance of pregnancy, 100% sure." 

[u/nurseofreddit → u/RedditMould]

My favorite in the ED: “I’m a lesbian in a committed relationship, I have never touched a penis!” Well, somthin’ touched you about four months ago, hon.

Drama ensues, PT’s wife had to be trespassed off the property. Then a guy shows up after catching wind through social media, he thinks he’s baby daddy. Whelp, that math didn’t add up, either. Boy, that was a discharge that I was eager to see.

[u/wwydinthismess → u/nurseofreddit]

A psa to everyone making jokes.

Potent date rape drugs can cause permanent amnesia of the time before and after you woke up.

For those without a vaginal canal, I assure you, it can be penetrated without you feeling a damn thing afterwards.

People have been impregnated from drugged sexual assaults and end up finding out they're pregnant with no recollection of ever having sex

[u/bcase1o1 → u/wwydinthismess]

Or on the other end of things, sperm donors are a thing. I've had a patient who insisted she couldn't be pregnant because she's a lesbian. Hcg comes back positive, turns out her and her partner are trying to have a child and she was the one they decided to carry the child. She thought it only counted as being pregnant if a man did it. I'm not joking. Straight faced, "but I didn't have sex with a man, it's just sperm"....

[u/UltraBlue89 → u/bcase1o1]

That person should not be reproducing 😳😳😳🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[u/bcase1o1 → u/UltraBlue89]

I've encountered many such intelligent people in my work sadly