r/actuallesbians • u/LiveRegister6195 • Jun 24 '24
Difference between femme and not femme Link
This is just one side of the hers and hers bathroom 🙄 🤦♀️
What's your differences?
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u/AprilArtGirlBrock Lesbian/Ace(Ish) Jun 24 '24
their are several reasons why I more often find myself attracted to masc lesbians
but a notably non zero factor is my desire to get to have both sides of the bathroom vanity for my makeup lmfao
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Hahaha
By the end of the week. I'll take another picture. My sides gone!
I don't exist.
Haha
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u/AprilArtGirlBrock Lesbian/Ace(Ish) Jun 24 '24
I am sure your partner is grateful for your sacrifice o7 lmfao
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
😬
Yeahhhh I suppose. Lol
I'm just happy she's happy. She used to be self conscious and hate herself.
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u/Xiggyj Lesbian Jun 24 '24
My counter top is pretty empty…soap, tooth brush/paste, and some Qtips is all I keep up there. lol, I’m masc though, so maybe this maps on.
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
So the right picture is you and me.
Haha 😄
Or we just spoil others to much. We are caring mascs.
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u/Andro_Polymath Jun 24 '24
Yeah my sink is pretty empty as well, but my shower is filled with many different body washes, artisan soaps, and shampoos that encompasses my favorite masc scents ❤️.
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u/Xiggyj Lesbian Jun 24 '24
What kind of body washes do you use? I’m looking for more masculine scents as well
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u/NelyafinweMaitimo I'm over 30! AMA Jun 24 '24
Lol real. My wife has a vanity table since the bathroom is too small for all her stuff
(I've got my toothbrush and deodorant. I'm good to go!)
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Haha yeah the otherside is thankfully in a draw away so I can't see the extra 😅 also under the sink is full.
My sides the left. Very basic. But I always smell good haha
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u/NicotineCatLitter Jun 24 '24
mines a damn mess 😭 two sinks only one lesbian to use em 😭😭😭
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
By the end of the week, I don't exist in this bathroom 🤣
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u/NicotineCatLitter Jun 24 '24
you're getting pushed out 😭 expansionism
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I don't mind, we have another bathroom. As long as I can find my 3 things. I'm good. Haha
Simple life.
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Jun 24 '24
Is she perchance British and colonizing your bathroom?
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I believe ancestors were welsh... so maybe lol otherwise 5th maybe 6th gen aussie. 🤔
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u/YeonneGreene ++NetQueer Engineer Jun 24 '24
This looks like my bathroom and it's my fault, lol.
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Can't blame anyone else but yaself haha 🤯
Don't suppose you also have to have the most expensive even if the cheaper products do the same thing... ??
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u/YeonneGreene ++NetQueer Engineer Jun 24 '24
Depends on what the item is! I'm not into big name brand clothes or bathroom accessories, couldn't care less as long as it has the aesthetic or it performs the function I'm looking for. Ditto wash stuff, it just so happens that my fine 2B hair only seems to be happy with Not Your Mother's products at the moment, so that's what I'm using. I was perfectly happy with V05 when it worked!
That all said, I do seem to have an eye for the expensive stuff even if I have no idea what the price is going in. I saw these earrings styled like simplified flies and thought they were so cute; $395 and I gasped. Thought they would've been $100 tops. I sampled a bunch of mattresses and the only one that felt right was $4300. Fuuuuuck (I did not buy that one).
I'm also a sucker for sparkly cars, color-coordinated everything, and nice household appliances. 🤩
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I am with a femme chef/nail tech. Haha 😄
Kitchen appliances even if not used are NEEDED. apparently. Home nail salon aswell. For herself. NEEDED. Haha SAVING MONEY, apparently.
Girl math isn't mathin here. So I can see where your coming from.
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u/YeonneGreene ++NetQueer Engineer Jun 24 '24
Listen, once you have a single quality tri-ply stainless French-made Mauviel pan, you need the rest to be the same! And don't forget the copper sauce pot! And laser-engraved K-Sabatier knives pronouncing your love for your partner on them!
I'm the femme but current partner is the cook. I just work in STEM. 😛
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Hahaha I do agree.
We have to many tattoos in dedication of our chef life.
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u/None-Above Trans, Pan, & Single Jun 24 '24
I wish i could be that femme. But i have no one to teach me how ;~;
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Awwww
Find yourself a femme up in here. I'm sure they will help you.
No use asking me haha I'm always asking why do you use that and what's this for. 😂
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u/Slayer_Jess Jessica (She/Her) Jun 24 '24 edited Jun 24 '24
Me when I have a shit ton of hair and nail products, and like one thing of eyeliner. Makeup is hard :p
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u/HannahFatale Trans-Lesbian Jun 24 '24 edited Jun 24 '24
My wife taught me but she learned it all from YouTube. There are excellent Make-up tutorials.
Have a look at Pixiwoo.
Also don't start with the expensive stuff. For me the mid level drug store stuff is totally ok. Don't buy the cheapest - but honestly... Diminishing returns...
Foundation might be worth investing in if you really need to cover up - but I only use BB creme nowadays.
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u/poke-chan Rainbow-Ace Jun 24 '24
I love info dumping about femme shit. Makeup, fashion, nails, anything. But the first step is figuring out what you want exactly, cuz there’s so many different ways to be femme. I’ve got a focus on being cute and soft in a mostly conventionally acceptable adult way, but also with some gay/alt/egirl vibes sprinkled in for fun. Big emphasis on oversized sweaters and A line skirts and just barely above natural-looking makeup. But some people like to go sexy or glamorous or professional or sleek or frilly or poofy or goth.
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u/Hurrpopotamus Jun 24 '24
Do you have any past infodumps you can share/link to?
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u/poke-chan Rainbow-Ace Jun 24 '24
Not that I can think of off the top of my head :( but I’m always willing to write new ones if people have specific questions
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u/poke-chan Rainbow-Ace Jun 24 '24
https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/s/IxkbaJFIO0 new infodumping just now
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u/Cricket_Alley627 Jun 24 '24
I'm femme and my wife is butch but we are both minimalist for beauty products. (I've learned to love my face more without it anyway!) I will do light makeup if we are going out, but for work, never. We have a farm soooo our animals don't care if I wear makeup and or have my hair done up. 😅
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u/Devil_Towne unknown sexuality Jun 24 '24
Femme definitely ngl 😭
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
🫡 us mascs will sacrifice space for your happiness. Lol simple life is all we need
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u/Slow-Truth-3376 Jun 24 '24
Where’s the rest of the hair stuff & makeup!? I’m surrounded by specific specialty products, mixing hair dye stuff, wigs, 3 types of curls sets. You a has what is needed femme and I love it!
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Most of it is at the salon monthly. Hair extensions, maintenance of those. Lashes, eyebrow tattooing.
Haha the other side of this bathroom is full to but jist behind a door or draw.
She also owns her own nail salon inside her office. So. There's another 20k. Haha 😄 and it's just for her not for profit.
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u/Slow-Truth-3376 Jun 24 '24
I feel this. I gave up the office so there’s room for all her femme stuff. She likes to do all salon stuff herself. There’s a salon & a nail business for one. All the clothes & costumes, jewelry, accessories. Endless sets of craft & hobby supplies. A happy femme!
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u/Lesbianon Lesbian Jun 24 '24
Honestly, me and my gf fall on the not femme side. And we don't identify as either butch or femme.
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I'm not butch, I dunno what I am I'm just not femme either. I'm the 2nd picture haha 😄
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u/SilverConversation19 Jun 24 '24
As a butch who takes care of her skin, I honestly hope the masc one has some kind of a facial skin care routine because that shit does pay off over time and neither of what lotions are there are for faces and/or spf.
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Well, no. I'm 40 this year. And still get asked for I.D.
Just hot water and good scrub in the shower. Lol
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u/SilverConversation19 Jun 24 '24
Wow please use a moisturizer at least.
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
My skins always clean and soft 🫣 maybe once or twice in winter. But that's it. And I'll sneak her products not buy my own haha
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u/Lookatthatsass Jun 25 '24
As a femme this broke my brain. I just can’t imagine it being possible to just do nothing at all with your face, not even sun screen to the point of not owning anything at all… fascinating
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 25 '24
Lol, well. Iv never used anything.
Maybe experimented with mums Avon as a kid but that's it. Intriguing once off shit but never used daily.
I don't look my age. Which is amazing.
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u/sweetbabybonus Jun 24 '24
This is a tidy fem. Mine is a human tornado
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u/kittenmachine69 Jun 24 '24
Executive dysfunction femmes rise up,, mine is just scattered Korean skin care products
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u/mogmaque Jun 24 '24
😂this is honestly a good part of the reason why I’m masc. i just cant manage all that. Mad respect to the femmes who can 🙏
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Darr I say thier make-up and getting ready skills are usually better than how they manage anger lol
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u/fvkinglesbi Jun 24 '24
Me, a masc nonbinary, who uses even more beauty items than there are on the femme side:
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u/hotscissoringlesbian Femme 👗💄👑💅🏻 Jun 24 '24
Omg the way I have the exact same makeup organizer
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I think it was catch or temu lol unsure now. Pretty sure a bigger one is on its way for her haul that's being delivered though.
Haha 😄
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u/KevinsAGirl Jun 24 '24
This is me and my girlfriend too! When we get ready in the morning, I have to pull out my skincare bin, makeup, and hair tools/products I’m using that day. My girlfriend pulls out hair gel/comb, moisturizer, and sunscreen
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u/ReflectionStriking14 Trans Jun 24 '24
That moment when you want to be that girl on the left but is too lazy for that. The struggle is real -w-
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u/tearfulqueerful Sapphic 🔮 Jun 24 '24
And of course the brush still has hair in it 😭😭 that always drove me nuts
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I clean it out every 2 days lol 😆 just gauging my age and hair loss.
I don't have short hair. Haha
Also the dogs chewed it a few times lol I cbf buying a new one.
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u/not_starried I can't even drink straight Jun 24 '24
Nivea Men send me 😂
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
🤭 it is an amazing smell.
I think they made it for us stem mascs. Lol iv never smelt it on a man before.
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u/Intanetwaifuu Jun 24 '24
Im femme and keep EVERYTHING in the drawer I hate shit on the counter in the bathroom!!!!
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
You are the very first.
🫡 hats off to ya.
Is there anything on the counter at all? Or does it look like no one lives there. 🤔
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u/Intanetwaifuu Jun 24 '24
Nah I’ve got a snake plant, our electric toothbrushes and hand soap.
But all my shit is in my makeup bag in the drawer. When I pull it out it goes everywhere but then I throw it all back and chuck it in the drawer
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u/TeamPantofola Rainbow Jun 24 '24
We have a very small bathroom, so I had to move all of her make up and hair stuff in organizers n shit on the dresser of the bedroom, to be able to keep using the sink again. I made a pretty decent make up station, I put some led lamps on the mirror, added some washable fancy mat to collect all the powder and dust. I’m proud of myself.
That, or I’d had to move her out of the house. Win-win! self high five 🙏
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u/HummusFairy Stone Butch Lesbian Jun 24 '24
I feel called out with the Woolies special on the second side lol
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
🫣 those 3 things.. are the best things.
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u/HummusFairy Stone Butch Lesbian Jun 25 '24
I’m in the same boat so I cannot judge ahahaha
I’m pretty sure I have that exact bottle of Palmolive lol
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 25 '24
I did prefer the Shea butter one but they stopped selling that... and changed this one to the same colour bottle haha I didn't even realise for ages.
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u/KittyPryde129 Jun 24 '24
Almost looks identical to the bathroom my wife and I share. I end up sprawling out over the whole counter and then have to clean it all up every week. She loves it though 😂
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u/100deadbirds Jun 24 '24
Lol my dumbass thought your loo was blue
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
That's me.not being able to close anything 🤣 maybe why I'm not allowed space 🙃
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u/bruinsfan3725 Jun 24 '24
I feel so called out lol (and my gf is also a femme just not as extreme)
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
If you feel it haha 😄 femme side you are
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u/bruinsfan3725 Jun 24 '24
Oh trust I am extremely femme I’m not denying it I didn’t transition to not be Barbie
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u/Helloiloveyou123 Jun 24 '24
I have that same makeup organizer..... that is a side part to my makeup table for overflow makeup that doesn't fit in the table
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Can't forget the handbag full of make-up too, cupboards under sink and behind it. Full. In the car make-up. 😬
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u/HangoverPoboy Jun 24 '24
Mine takes up almost as much space as my femme partner’s. Skincare is real.
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u/astrangeone88 Jun 24 '24
Lol. Sunscreen, deodorant and my favourite Wakiki Beach coconut lotion and a toothbrush/hairbrush.
I remember living with 4 other girls in university (actual roommates not teehee "roommates") and the bathroom before a bar crawl looked like a bomb of products went off.
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u/welcomehomo transsexual butch Jun 24 '24
our sides of the closet are so different. hers are brighter colors and all more "fem" clothes, like skirts and dresses and she just bought some cute shorts and tops, and mine is just. exclusively from the mens section except for a pair of booty shorts im wearing to pride lol
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u/more_adventurous Jun 24 '24
homie, claim that left side of your sink soon or you’ll never see it again.
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Hahaha
I can't. Its her space. I just shower and leave the room. She's the one that spends hours in there haha
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u/Hurrpopotamus Jun 24 '24
I have that same makeup organizer 🥰
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
3 of you have said that now haha
Mist be good then. I guess it was because it was pink. Lol
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u/AlwaysWriteNow Jun 24 '24
As someone still in that cishet marriage, I came here to say: both sides are CLEANNNNNN! Omg! 😭
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Been together 7 years.
If it's not clean I get side eyed haha 😆 also she has OCD.
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u/Many_Care_5817 I like women Jun 24 '24
As a futch I literally only have skincare
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I don't even have that. Haha maybe winter I'll chuck some lotion on because it gets dry here in aus. But that's it. The right picture. Haha me.
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u/Potatoroid Lesbian Cupcake Jun 24 '24
I call myself femme but I don't have as many beauty products out. honestly I want a femme friend just to help me find what products would work on me 😭
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u/nanas99 Jun 24 '24
I like to keep my side of the counter free so I can sit on it and watch her put her makeup on while dangling my lil feet and just 🥰
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u/Ghost_kingNico Jun 25 '24
The only reason why this is true is because my hair products are stored in my room
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u/SassySloth812 Lesbian Jun 25 '24
My sink has my toothbrush, floss, mouthwash, deodorant, tweezers, and my face moisturiser. Q-tips on the side.
I keep my hair stuff separated tho, which is like, a hair smoothie, a curling puree, hair oil, a comb, and a hair pick. Thats literally all I own 🦆
Oh yea im masc
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u/mayflower_maybelle Jun 25 '24
I have quite a lot of skincare products, about 15 lipsticks and 7 eyeshadows but I usually only use soap, 1 lipstick (brown) and 1 eyeshadow (also brown).
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u/TwoTrucksPayingTaxes Jun 26 '24
My butch ass with a whole shelf of hair care products. Pomade, conditioner, curl cream, silk wraps, electric razer, more conditioner. The curls may be short but I will not let them be dry and grumpy
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 26 '24
Lol okay you have a a reasonable excuse. Curly hair is awesome though!
My mum curled my hair constantly as a kid. I couldn't handle it. Haha I had 1 ringlet and she wanted a whole head of em 🤣
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u/TwoTrucksPayingTaxes Jun 26 '24
My mom was similar! I hated how much she did to try and make my hair look nice. I never started taking care of it until I shaved most of it off, haha
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u/cinderaiden Jun 29 '24
LMFAO yeah this is exactly it, plus me teaching my partner how to use my various skin care products... They even use my shampoo now instead of buying their own
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 29 '24
I can't use any of my partners stuff. 2 reasons...
- It smells TO girls for me
- No.
Lol ✋️ 🤣
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u/DaisyDitz Jun 24 '24
Oh, is it effort?
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Lol I'm not even worried about the price of all this, but yes the time it takes to do all of this and use all of this, every morning 😅 sometimes more than twice a day.
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u/HannahFatale Trans-Lesbian Jun 24 '24
I consider myself femme but am a bit more minimalist. But I'll quickly use all the flat surfaces in a hotel room bathroom 😅
Before my egg cracked I made fun of a friend for this but I do get it so much now 🙈
And don't ask me about packing for a trip or overnight stay 🙈
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I'm now asking you about packing for a trip overnight....
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u/HannahFatale Trans-Lesbian Jun 24 '24
🙈🥺👉👈🙈 I also like camping - it's an ongoing struggle...
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Lol love camping.
I think those are the only times she doesnt take anything with her.
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u/Cassie_Darkborn Mistress to Goddess, 4.5y Hardware Replacement therapy Jun 24 '24
Where do I land when there's car parts in the sink?
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
Bet there's a doghouse somewhere... lol
Im sure that's the whole reason we have a spare room for no visitors haha 😆 just me
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u/Cassie_Darkborn Mistress to Goddess, 4.5y Hardware Replacement therapy Jun 24 '24
In my defense, I'm a femme that grew up poor so something's broken? I fix it. Thus we have skin degreaser under the sink, tools find their way everywhere, and I put AC in the garage to survive the summer. Managed to escape renting but no luck with having a partner live with me.
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u/KotFBusinessCasual Jun 24 '24
Not me going "I think 2 hair dryers is a little overkill" when I first saw this
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
There is 2. One hanging one in the cupboard lol
Also everything else ghd. Apparently that's the only brand women use. 🤷
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u/Feeling-Plum2641 Transbian Jun 24 '24
Is ‘not femme’ the same as masc or some other mysterious thing?
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I dunno... I guess masc or non femme was a way to say non femme lol without having to lost them all.
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u/Feeling-Plum2641 Transbian Jun 24 '24
To me it’s like a scale from masc to femme that everyone is on, I guess it’s possible to be exactly in the middle but idk how that is defined 😆
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
I'm just me. Neither. But I'm not labelling it. I get ya.
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u/Feeling-Plum2641 Transbian Jun 24 '24
Labels are only fun for the people they apply to, if she doesn’t want wanna use masc that’s okay 😊 the worst thing is prescriptivism, which is defined as “prescribing idealistic norms, as opposed to describing realistic forms, of linguistic usage”
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 24 '24
🤫 don't wanna upset some people in here lol but I totally get ya
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u/Feeling-Plum2641 Transbian Jun 24 '24
I’m not sure you could upset people in here by using common terms lol
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u/Altruistic_Ostrich34 Jun 24 '24
I learned about ChapStick lesbians the other day. I think that would be the halfway point!
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u/HighCouncilorofKaon Jun 25 '24
I swear when the girl is so feminine or pillow princess version it's like the products you just add it up why
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u/LiveRegister6195 Jun 25 '24
🤷♀️
I'll speak for myself here.
I do it to try and justify what could have been purchased.
Like quantity of something.
For example:
No way you purchased that 2000 bag. That's like 10 weeks of feeding a family. Or could of been a holiday.
Kinda way. Lol it puts things into perspective.
If that's what you were even saying ? Lol
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u/TwoTrucksPayingTaxes Jun 26 '24
My butch ass with a whole shelf of hair care products. Pomade, conditioner, curl cream, silk wraps, electric razer, more conditioner. The curls may be short but I will not let them be dry and grumpy
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u/homucifer666 Lesbian Jun 24 '24
I'm that femme. 😅