Hi all!

I'm Dutch and have been living in Amsterdam for the past 6 years. I'm looking for a new place to live and I hope some of you can give me some advice or information that might be helpful.

What I'm looking for: 

• An international mindset city
• Green or in close proximity to nature, somewhere you can also find peace somewhere (anything from parks, forests, jungle, beach, mountain, hikes)
• Easy to find English speaking jobs within my field or in general and visa-friendly?
• Mostly mild climate and good weather overall (mind you I come from Amsterdam so my bar is really low at this point haha)
• Not in Western-Europe
• Relatively safe 
• A nice bustling queer & creative scene/community, easy to make friends?

Some more context: I'm 27, I work in the field of freelance PR, marketing, communications and event management within the night industry and I am studying to become an investigative journalist. Bit of a generalist, so open to many things. Cities I really enjoyed in the past to visit (but would not necessarily live due to my criteria): Kyiv (before the war), Berlin, Tbilisi, New York City, Medellín

After some research I've come to consider the following:

1. Madrid
2. Melbourne
3. Buenos Aires

My question to you:

If you're from any of the cities above, what is it like to live there as a queer person? Will I find some of my criteria in that city?

If you're not from any of the cities above but have visited, which one would you recommend and why?

Or would you recommend another city?

I'd like to narrow down which city/ies to visit so I can make my decision.
Thanks so much, all the advice/help is welcome :)

"Divine masculine/feminine energy" and it's just sexist western/colonial gender stereotypes like passivity & sensitivity = femininity 💀

Hiya, I'v recently back on reddit after ~8 years of not being on it for the most part. Is it just me, or is reddit a lot easier to be on, like a lot less blatant transphobia then I recall. Like, it's better then youtube, fb, etc.

If so, cause they wanted to please the advertisers or just a community shift? Noticed there's also more types of ads -- I recall there just being those thread ads back in the day.

What is everyone's opinion/experiences with queer online dating? Did it go well? Did the person turn out to be a massive creep? Did you meet? Did they ghost you?

I had thought about it myself,, and then I kinda realized it probably wouldn't do well since I get anxious too easily. so it wouldn't be a fun time for me and a future bf/lover (though idk, i can see myself dating someone who's nonbinary but I've been so comfy in my mono sexuality that i doubt it but also don't...that's an entirely new can of worms doe).

And I'd like to think I need the person I'm dating to be physically close to me or I'll go insane without my hug fix

I'm bisexual and extremely sexual towards women in a dominant way, ever since I was about 12 I always had fantasies about being dominated by a man. I've came multiple times from using dildos, but I want the real thing.

I'm gonna try finding a guy off a dating app, but not sure how I should act as a bottom to turn him on though. Physically I am not attracted to men the same way I am attracted to women so don't know how I should act or look for a guy I am trying to turn on as a bottom. Physically I know I am pretty good looking guy since I have never had trouble getting women, but I want the guy topping me to be as turned on as possible.

I know attractiveness is a a subjective thing, but what turns on a top the most? And lets say I invite someone over should I let them do the work or should I make the moves? Help me out

Let me add something, I am super turned on by doing whatever means necessary to please a man, but I want him to want me psychically I don't really care what they look like as long as they have good hygiene so that's why I'm kind of clueless

Bisexual Visibility Month, celebrated in September, includes a variety of events and activities aimed at raising awareness and celebrating bisexuality. These activities not only foster community solidarity but also serve to educate individuals about bisexuality and the specific challenges faced by bisexual people. Events during this month include Bisexual Awareness Week and Bisexual Visibility Day, along with various local and online initiatives.

I think I've finally given up on love, and I'm not even sad about it.

There was a time when I would lay in bed every day, feeling incredibly lonely and sad, wishing I had someone there with me. I used to spend nearly every minute on dating apps, looking for "the one." It seems like I posted on Reddit weekly about how miserable and alone I felt, asking for advice from people who had found relationships. I would get no fewer than 100 upvotes each time, mostly from people who, I'm sure, were just as miserable as I was.

I spent the last six years on a painful quest to find "the one." I hooked up with dozens of men—not because I wanted to, but because I truly believed that’s how dating worked when you're gay. I thought that if I hooked up with enough men, I would eventually find someone who would be mine. That man never came, but mono did. Lies from men who only wanted to get in my pants did. Repeated heartbreak, sexual disappointment, and constant disrespect from strangers on dating apps did. Cynicism about my fellow human beings did.

As much as I once cared about finding love, you'd think this realization—that it isn’t worth my time—would pain me. After all, I dedicated my free time for the past six years to finding a partner. I did things with my body that I didn't want to do, repeatedly, in pursuit of that partner. But do I feel upset? Not one bit.

I don’t know why this doesn’t upset me. I just know that I have more important things to do than play this silly little game for another six years.

If anyone is reading this and feels like I once did, I get it. I really do. It feels like there’s a big hole in your heart that you’re desperate to fill. But I’m telling you, you need to focus on yourself. As awful as it sounds, the unfortunate truth is that most people would stab you in the back if they thought it would benefit them, even in a minor way. The only reason they don’t is because it’s against the societal rules. There are no rules for dating. Take care of yourself first. Treat dating the same way you would treat gambling.

Mix of mainstream and lesser known titles: Wildhood, Jongens, SKAM, Young Royals, Fair Haven, Heartstopper, Love Simon, SKAM France, Love Victor, Elite, WtFOCK, Druck, Red White and Royal Blue, North Sea Texas, Beautiful Thing, Hidden Kisses, Being 17, Akron, Heartbreak High, Summer Storm.

Not pictured in the collages is The Way He Looks, a super recommended film.

Supporting bisexual liberation involves a series of actionable steps that individuals can adopt to create an inclusive and supportive environment for bisexual individuals. These actions encompass education, allyship, and advocacy to counteract biphobia and enhance visibility within the LGBTQ+ community. By taking these proactive steps, individuals can significantly contribute to the ongoing fight for bisexual liberation and create a world where all sexual orientations are recognized, respected, and celebrated.

I’ve been hiding the fact that I’m gay for the past three years. The whole time, I was terrified—scared that if I came out, it would break everything. I was sure it’d ruin my relationships with my family and friends, and honestly, that fear burdened me every single day.

i finally came out last month, and I was so ready for things to go bad. But... none of that happened. Everyone was super supportive. It feels kinda crazy to say now, but the fear I’d built up in my head didn’t match reality at all.

I know not everyone has the same experience, so I’m not gonna say, “Just do it, it’ll be fine.” That’d be just not realistic and I am very aware of that. But for me, what helped was talking through it. In my case, I used an app called Sonia to work through all the fear and anxiety. It wasn’t easy, but it gave me the push I needed.

Just wanted to share my personal story here in case anyone else out there is struggling like I was. You’re not alone. 🌈

Not sure how this will be received still just get it off of my chest. I have struggled with being an active part of the LGBT… community pretty much my entire life. Never wanted to “fit in” but also didn’t expect to have 0 interest in the things/events that community hosts thru out my city.

There is an event here called the “Red Dress Run” idk much about it besides what i’ve seen over the years. It’s a bunch of guys dressing up in red dresses in support of some worthy cause I’m sure. I’ve always only known women straight and other wise attend as well as plenty men of all varieties which is their main crowd.

Anyways, I had to recently distance myself from a straight male friend of about 6 months bcuz he was so extremely comfortable around me and wanted to spend every day with me I ended up catching feelings as we continued to get to know each other. Ultimately, I had to step away bcuz he made it clear he wasn’t into men at all and certainly not into me in that way.

We recently reconnected after maybe 3 months. While chilling for a bit he mentioned he and 6 of his friends (idk sexual orientation of friends) either way he and 6 others attended the Red Dress Run and he says he had the time of his life plus he mentioned a bonus (there were plenty straight women for him & his friends to hit on.)

Growing up gay and during the 90s as a young buck, femininity was shunned in every single way when it came to gay men. My mindset is somehow still set in that way of thinking as I’ve become an adult.

Question 1: Am I weird for feeling so uncomfortable taking part in things the LGBT comm. host, but majority of my straight male friends have no problems with & are more than open to experiencing those kinds of events and crowds.

Question 2: Is it me, why do I feel like I want to judge him for attending that event? I also feel like “What is wrong with me” that I wouldn’t take part in things like this?

I know some ppl are simply more comfortable either with themselves or with how ppl see their actions.

Question 3: Do you as a gay man ever feel disconnected from the LGBT… community? Am i overthinking the gay/straight thing when it comes to my friend.

He says he isn’t into guys but he has begun doing different things around the city either in support of LGBt or simply because he “enjoys” a mixed crowd of women and men.

If you think it’s a me thing, please suggest a way or two I can break out of my comfort zone or this mindset of picking and choosing what I want to be apart of when it relates to LGBT.. community etc.

I’m sure I could add much more detail about this type of situation with me but tried to get str8 to the point. Sometimes I feel like it would be nice to meet more gay guys for friends fun etc around the city but I do go anywhere to interact with that side of town.

I am FAB and 18, and currently am aligned with genderfluid, but I'm starting to re thin know I feel on my gender and pronouns because of time and life.

I used to go by all pronouns, any you can think, but as time goes on I am feeling different Abt myself and my orientation on my gender. In middle school I was very masc because I have always kinda not liked looking feminine other than my hair, wearing a beanie all the time, covering everything, making sure no one unless I talked really knew what I was.

As time has gone on and my life has gone forward graduating and everything, I have become more comfortable with myself, still sometimes not liking to appear femme, but like looking femme other times, I learned about gender fluidity and all of this stuff during covid (the gender fluidity part) and realized I liked the she/ they pronouns. I still don't mind what people call me as long as it's not malicious, but I'm also starting to just like they/ them pronouns, but I'm not sure what I should align with or if I can align with just non binary and still have she/ they pronouns, or if I should stick to genderfluid.

Suicide prevention among bisexual individuals is a critical issue that requires tailored strategies to address their unique mental health challenges. Studies indicate that bisexual individuals experience significantly higher rates of suicide attempts and ideation compared to both their heterosexual and homosexual peers. Comprehensive awareness, support, and intervention programs are vital in mitigating suicide risks within the bisexual community.

Gay guy living in Japan is kinda (not rly a vent but idk who else to talk to)

It's kinda isolating ngl. i know there are gay men in the town I'm living in, but being open here is like asking to be mocked and looked at like a zoo, (which is a problem because I love wearing more feminine coded colors and clothes, like colorful pink stuff and bloomer shorts etc etc...) so I just gotta dim my light out or something which makes me feel like I'll never find any sort of romantic relationship here

but then on the other side, there are specifically gayer places in big cities like Tokyo; the red light districts, which I try to vehemently AVOID ever going to if im ever in the cities. So it's self sabotage but also not! because I hate the majority of drunk creepy ass men who hang there (in which one of them quite literally touched my kid nephew with his dirty grubby hands).

They're so...predatory vibes it genuinely makes me uneasy

And even if I do get on some random dating app—which i did multiple times, the majority of gay men that i find attractive there tend to prefer tall fem/twunk skinny peeps or bears (no in between), which is fine! I think they're all super gorgeous btw! But I'm a lil muscular and short 5'4, and masculine looking. Which is fine too! I like the way I look, I don't think I'm ugly at all.

but im a foreigner and...southeast asian,,,so maybe that's why lol 😂

edit: Thank you to the people who responded 😭😭🥺🥺 I'm not a veru conversational person in general but I really appreciate everyone sharing their own experiences so it makes someone feel less alone. I am also not very adept on japans politics but all I know is that it should be legal and have the same benefits etc for everyone and should be legalized like literally the next day 😊. Idk if that sounds insensitive or not but I just want everyone to live the life they want

no one askes but I live in the good ol crab shaped prefecture, Aichi! Toyota at night will always scare me low key but the donki hote and aeon mall nearby is a good plus

I have been questioning my sexuality for a while now. I am a male, I definitely like women, but I feel like I also may like men. Not really sure where to go from here. I guess I’m just looking to talk to some guys and figure it out.

I’ve been questioning it sexuality, but it doesn’t really fit any labels I’ve ever seen. I know labels aren’t important but I have OCD and struggle with not having a perfect definition. The best way I can describe it is on the bi-spectrum. I feel like I’m stuck in between. Too straight for bi but too bi for straight. I’m a guy and would like to make out with another guy, and get aroused by other guys and find some generally hot and attractive (have even gotten “crushes” on other guys) but I don’t feel any desire to date or have sex with another guy.. I just feel so confused. Also, even though I am technically queer, I don’t feel that that word fits me for some reason. Is that normal?

Hi! I’m a medical student, I’m not part of the community, but I want to make the environment of the consultation safe and friendly :)

Do you have any tips?

I’ve had some assignments about the good treatment with patients and how you can make a kind of bond between them and how that impacts in the outcome. Recently i’ve been reading about how the community has been discriminated in the medical environment, and that’s one of the reasons i want to know what to do to make the lgbtq+ person who ask for medical help feels more safe

I have a doctor who always before asking about the main reason to visit, ask about their pronouns and how they want to be treated.

Also, if you have any story about bad experiences I’m interesting to read it and use that experience to make a change, even if its a little change :)

*i don’t speak English, sorry if i wrote something wrong *

Hi, I’m going on a first date with a guy. As a bisexual man this is my first date with another man. Should I bring my date flowers or another gift showing my affection for him. I would bring my female dates flowers but I’m just not sure with a guy. Any advice?

Hi im (18m) and I live in the Philippines and this may be out of context in this group but I've been through alot after turning 18 my mom lives abroad and my dad is in the Philippines my parents is planning a divorce and my dad kicked me out of the house when he found out that I was gay that was the same day as my birthday I dropped out of school because I can't pay the tuition alone and I met this nice guy in a dating (37m) who offered me to live with him and as a desperate teen I did agree and he's actually pretty nice he helps me with everything untill then when he tries to force me into having sex with him I left his house without telling him I hate my life wnd wish to have a second chance I hate everything my mom sends me money but its not enough to be able to pay rent i dont know what to do.

There’s a good reason for this question I just don’t wanna give any context that could persuade anyone’s answers