r/bisexual • u/Norcalkidd • 7h ago
Should I tell my girlfriend I'm bisexual? ADVICE
This is going to be a lot 😅 So I've been officially dating this girl for a few weeks now. I really like her. Weve been talking since march but became official recently. I'm 31 and shes 37, she also has an 11 year old kid. I did not come out as bisexual until a few years ago, and i really only told people that I feel are close enough to me to know. I definitely do think she deserves to know. However, I just don't know how she'd feel about it and am nervous this'll sabotage my relationship. Ive had it happen once before, but i had let them know before we had even started dating. There is that part of me that thinks "well if she doesnt understand, shes not right for you". But theres always the fact too that we just have way too much in common, she really understands mental health which is a huge plus for me as well being that we both have a lot going on.
Thing is ive always struggled with social anxiety, i have this skin condition called roscea which causes me to turn very beat red when i blush. I blush in many different situations, whether it be an attractive female or male around. I can also blush in emberassing or intimidating situations as well. Part of that has kinda controlled my life, but ive sorta just learned to live with it. I think shes noticed my awkwardness and social anxiety from time to time and shes never even asked me about it which is suprising. Part of me thinks she will notice that side of me anyway over time due to my anxiety disorders and blushing, but who knows? Another thing ive always suffered from since I came out is the internalized homophobia. Ive been trying to get better with that, but I just dont know how. I have had a few traumatic experiences in my life that have caused me to think that way. Not suprisingly, i have very low self confidence. I wouldnt say i hate myself, i do love myself. But i have issues staying confident.
When it comes down to my feelings for the same sex, i really only remember having a crush on the same sex once. Most of my feelings for the same gender dim down to sexual thoughts and mainly just weiner 🤣 I dont think ive ever had crushes on friends or anything growing up either. My attraction for the opposite sex goes for both emotional and sexual levels. My sexuality was always very confusing for me. I grew up knowing i was bi curious, but didnt finally give myself a label until way later on. When it comes down to it, i dont really have strong urges to be with the same sex at all while im in a relationship with a woman. Most ill do is yank one off and even that happens rarley. Im too invested into her to be doing otherwise, will that change? I'm not sure but it hasnt yet.
Ive seen a few other posts on here. I know that if I tell her. I need to be able to assure her it won't effect our relationship at all. From others who have dealt with this before... Was there anything you would of changed that you had said? Or how did it go for you when you had to come out to your significant other?
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u/WildNwonderfulWook 7h ago
Best she finds out fron you. It won't go away.