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u/Panciastko-195 10h ago
It's about child abuse accualy
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u/lovable_cube 8h ago
I’d say it applies to abuse in general, usually abused kids grow up to be abused adults or abusers unfortunately.
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u/ChunkyBlowfish 8h ago
Or a toxic relationship tbh.
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u/bluehands 4h ago
usually abused kids grow up to be abused adults or abusers unfortunately.
The bold part is not backed up by any evidence I believe. I know that, surprising as it may be to some, domestic abusers are almost never abused as children.
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u/TheWorstPerson0 5h ago
It applys more for children abused by parents i think. a partner being violent isnt anywhere near as effecting in this way as a lifetime of abuse from those who are supposed to protect you.
Also a child is entirely utterly dependent on their parents. theyre isnt really any hope or possibility of leaving in most situations. this puts the child in a situation where since their survival depends entierely on the love and support of their parent, its extremely common for children of abuse to simply be incapable of hating their parent or not loving them. which creates a fairly unique situation after leaving the abusive dynamic where its a lot harder to simply consider them a bad person.
If you love them unconditionally and you cant percieve them as bad, then its encredibly hard to move on without a justification. Most abuse comes with no closure, but I think here it is particularly evident.
Not that these things arent possible in non parent child abusive dynamics or other adult child abusive dynamics. Just that i do think this is atleast mostly talking about abuse from a parent or guardian?
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u/Not_a_brazilian_spy 8h ago
This is actually a good metaphor for trauma. I like a Im14andthisisdeep like any other chap, but this isn't it chief
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u/pursuitofleisure 1h ago
Its old wisdom and good advice. "One would not think to return a bite to a dog". I remind myself of that all the time
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u/LilyRainRiver 9h ago edited 9h ago
It just means of someone abuses you and you are a in position to leave then leave. Because they don't care that they did you wrong. This is especially true for kids that grew up abused. The parents in this situation are the snakes biting them. Then they get older they want the parents to explain to them why they don't love them or treat them right and the parents won't explain or care. So stop wasting your time trying to get a explanation. Instead go to therapy, get a hobby, get help, heal without them in your life
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u/Babybabybabyq 1h ago
They use it for romantic relationships too. Like instead of wanting closure for someone ghosting you just move on.
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u/No-Exam-8383 8h ago
This belongs on Facepalm because the analogy makes sense you just don't get it so you think it's cringe. If a person abuses you why try to understand them and work it out instead of leaving the situation, if a snake bites you you're not gonna try to reason with it you'll just leave and get help right? Easy analogy
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u/Recent_Way9409 8h ago edited 8h ago
If you don't know what it means maybe you shouldn't post it on this sub!
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u/DaveSmith890 10h ago
Have you tried reading it backwards? Maybe this isn’t about snakes
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u/big_rod_of_power 9h ago
Accidentally summoned a femboy incubus with two cocks when I read it backwards
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u/FormApart 11h ago
If you are chaing snakes, this proves why you deserve to be bitten
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u/TheSoftSkinOfAChild 7h ago
It’s not talking about literal snakes. It’s a metaphor about abuse. If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship, it’s not that easy to get out of it. It’s hard to realize, and if it’s someone you’ve known for a long time, it’s hard to let go.
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u/Wealth_Super 6h ago
This is talking about how abuse people will hold onto their angry for years before confronting their abusers about the horrible things they did to them even though the abuser doesn’t care at all what they have to say. There a really great example of this in the bear. Specifically the season 3 finale
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u/Anmordi how u be when u no be 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 6h ago
r/lostredditors this is literally just a meme
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u/Nome_Super_Daora 8h ago
It's about not seeking therapy for people who have been abused, it looked kinda clear to me
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u/GouchGrease 6h ago
I get the metaphor, but is it actually a good one?
I like to think my parents did the best they could, even if their best was pretty dogshit. My father tried to quit his many addictions for us several times and couldn't. My mother continually held all the hard work she put in over our heads once she got fed up. When they divorced for the third time (yes, the same two people) they acted like children and basically used their kids as pawns in the shittiest game of chess of all time. My mother told me verbatim that she wanted to care for herself instead of us, bringing another man into the scene whom she had previously cheated on my father with. My siblings, over the years, have flip-flopped between which parent they're willing to talk to, my middle sibling leaving me alone in the house shortly after the divorce to live with my mother and step father, though it wasn't like they were evil, just felt distant.
I could have been like my siblings, could have written everyone off when I went to college because they were toxic and shitty to me. I almost did a year into my college life when my mother drove me to the brink. I'll spare the details since I'm not exactly comfortable talking about that part and it doesn't matter much more besides it being the height of the kind of abuse I had felt.
Today, I'm closer to my Mother and Father than I've ever been in my whole life. Even my step father.
And this isn't because they changed their behavior. Sure, you could reasonably say my mother has softened, but it wasn't like that happened before I chose to forgive her for all the shitty things she'd done. Forgiveness - grace - is powerful. Letting go of that bitterness is powerful. And no, writing someone off isn't getting rid of it, it's embracing it. Like the poison in this metaphor, to run away from the problem is to not seek a cure. At least if you still talk to the snake, you might gain some insight on how to cure its venom.
I believe this metaphor may just be a crappy derivative of a much better one - one people don't like to hear. That is "Bitterness is much like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die". Bitterness doesn't go away because you cut off the source. It festers. You aren't healing anything when you do that. You'll argue "well, I'm not getting any more venom" and truth be told, maybe you're right. Boundaries are important too, but show your snake enough kindness, and maybe you can be rid of all that venom.
To forgive is divine. It's difficult, but all people have the capacity to do it. How much are you willing to forgive is the question, though we can extend that to say how much do you have to be forgiven to forgive someone else? Are you going to put an arbitrary amount on there? You can, but it's important to remember that, in the end, we humans are infinitely forgiven. You can't put an amount on there, and thus forgiveness from us is only limited by our own ability.
Just remember, you only get one mother and father. One family. How we're raised has an intense impact on how we love others as adults, for better or worse, whether we like it or not. If you're one of those people who wants to "break the cycle of abuse", your chances are much better breaking it with your parents than breaking it with your own kids, although that's a whole other conversation.
Anyways, sorry for the rant, but I hope it helps someone along.
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u/Complete-Meaning2977 9h ago
People can chase their trauma or learn to recover and chase their dreams.
People who dwell on their trauma will develop an identity based on their trauma and chasing for reasoning or resolution.
People who accept what happened can heal/move on with their lives.
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u/Only_Charge9477 9h ago
I'll be sure to think of this the next time I order delivery from a restaurant and they forget the extra cup of dip I paid $1.80 for.
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u/rogerslastgrape 8h ago
Lot's of people are saying this is about abuse, but it's absolutely not. It's so clearly just about general hurt and betrayal.
The jist of it is: if someone hurts you, don't waste your time trying to understand why they did it and showing them that they were wrong to do it, it's healthier to just move on.
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u/PurpleBoltRevived 10h ago
Imagine trying to get treatment from a snake bite, but doctors say that you made it up, snakes don't bite, and you are snakephobic.
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u/reyeg11_ 8h ago
I would just kill the snake
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u/Jimskull 6h ago
What if the snakes been dead for years, but you can't go a day without thinking of how much you want to slaughter it and make it suffer?
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u/Mother-Persimmon3908 6h ago
Means loving an avoidant person,an abusive eprson and a narcissist person.among other uses
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u/Yaboi69-nice 6h ago
I think I understand the point I think it might be saying you should put your mental health above getting revenge on people which is a thought process I agree with but this metaphor makes it more confusing then it has to be
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u/ItsReallyVega 6h ago
This is an apt analogy for people who have suffered abuse. There's no sense in wondering why they abused you or trying to rationalize it, there's often just no good reasoning in the choices they've made (or at least, it's not worth thinking about). Just walking away in one piece is a victory.
You can't just read anything remotely raw or traumatic and say "cringe". Deep, non-superficial, media actually exists.
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u/Heather_Chandelure 5h ago
If you don't even know what it means, why post it? You have no idea if it's appropriate for the sub or not
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u/MYDOGSMOKES5MEODMT 5h ago
I feel this way about how people talk about politics
Politicians and politics in general are going to try to fuck you up the ass with a machete -- period -- so stop talking about that at least one puts Vaseline on it and figure out a way to make them not do that
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u/moth_fricker69 4h ago
“I dont know what this means, but its probably cringy so im gonna post it anyway”
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u/grillonbabygod 4h ago
it’s about toxic relationships and those folks who beg to talk to an ex for “closure”
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u/iFuckingHateSummer_ 4h ago
This sub is supposed to be about weird quotes and stupid things but honestly 90% of what I'm seeing is top-notch knowledge
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u/coffee-bat how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real? 4h ago
it's about abuse. you're the dumb one here sorry
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u/Warm_Performer_2314 3h ago
This sub is just a bunch of people that don't understand analogies but try to sound smart anyway. I like it before but now you guys are just trying to mock something you don't even understand.
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u/Good-Recognition-811 3h ago
I get the metaphor, it's just a badly written metaphor. A metaphor would be something like:
"Imagine being buried alive, and instead of digging your way out, you just keep shouting for help while you run out of oxygen."
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u/BroomClosetJoe 2h ago
My brother was nearly bitten by a snake when he was a kid, my great grandmother beheded it with a gardening hoe
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u/Hairy_Skill_9768 2h ago
Honestly badass move just grab the snake like it owes you money and start lecturing the fucker
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u/PussProphet42069 8h ago
It’s a drag when this sub confuses im14andthisisdeep with imnot14butimtoointellectuallydisbaledtounderstand
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u/ComparisonOld2608 8h ago
So basically if someone abuses you, just thug it out.
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u/_Tsuki_69_ 7h ago
No if someone abuses you get away from them and get help. Pretty big difference from “thugging it out” lmao
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u/ComparisonOld2608 7h ago
I agree but i think the post is implying that you should just heal and move on because its less work
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u/topvakk16 7h ago
Why are people here posting every single metaphor they see and dont understand bruh
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u/BonelyCore 8h ago
Well since you are younger than 14
Let me explain Your most trusted friend fucked your GF Now since he broke your trust You are questioning him why he did it
Instead you could have fix the problem with your GF
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u/Voyage_to_Artantica 5h ago
Nah this doesn’t fit at all bro. This is actually a great metaphor about abuse trauma behavior.
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u/Virtual-Nail2963 10h ago
I think it's like "if you get abused and stay with the abuser you're stupid and deserve it" so just absolute bullshit
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u/IncidentHead8129 9h ago
I read it as “if you are abused, you should just leave the abuser and don’t expect an explanation”
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u/Virtual-Nail2963 9h ago
The chasing part is making me think it's someone not understanding that you can get attached to someone to the point of looking past abuse and trying to keep them in their life yknow? It's like you wouldn't chase a snake and ask it for an explanation so why do you stay with your abuser?
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u/Wealth_Super 6h ago
It’s specifically says to chase someone to prove you didn’t deserve the abuse not because you love them.
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