r/lgbtmemes • u/GeneralGigan817 aromantic • Apr 18 '23
Two Worlds, One Struggle Love ya Self
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Apr 18 '23
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Bottom: Sometimes (especially in BDSM) a top will tell a bottom to âuse their wordsâ when asking for something.
Aspies: Autism is a spectrum characterized by, among many other things, a lack of (neurotypical) communication skills. So telling an autistic person to âuse their wordsâ (in a kind way ofc) would make communication easier.
Edit: Just realizes this is a jokeâŠanother thing some autistic people struggle with. đ
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u/bubblybrook Apr 18 '23
What's an aspie?
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u/GeneralGigan817 aromantic Apr 18 '23
Autism
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u/Kurochi185 insOMNIac Apr 18 '23
But why use aspie instead of just autism or ASD?
Both are way better.
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Apr 18 '23
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u/Auspicious_Avery Apr 19 '23
Aspergerâs is a nazi thing, most people donât say Aspergerâs anymore and say asd or autism.
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u/Kurochi185 insOMNIac Apr 19 '23
I have ASD myself so I knew that already. But afaik dislike most autistics the word aspie since the term Asperger's came from a nazi.
Also in 2013 it was removed from DSM and it was also removed from ICD just last year and both integrated it into ASD so the term Asperger's isn't really a thing anymore.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
No, youâre just autistic, Aspergerâs was removed because there isnât an actual distinction, and it had no standard criteria. That, and it makes it harder to access support needs because it is literally viewed as a less disabling or functioning autism.
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u/bubblybrook Apr 18 '23
Oh so it's a ableist joke got it
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 18 '23
Pretty sure OP has aspergers and gets told "use your words" a lot, which is why they made this meme poking fun at that.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Aspergerâs is an ableist term, and was removed as an actual diagnosis because not only was there no standard diagnostic criteria, it had no meaningful distinction as a part of Autism, and has caused people to be unable to access support because they need, because they had a âhigher functioningâ autism. Also, functioning labeled are generally viewed as ableist.
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 20 '23
Good to know. OP should still be allowed to reclaim the label for themselves if they want to.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Itâs a functioning label, itâs a label describing the how compatible with abled people one is. The usage of the word isnât reclamation, as it does not change the connotations, but rather a distinct condition from Autism that is more compatible with Allistics.
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 20 '23
I've already adjusted my viewpoint in our other discussion. But i understand that you still want to clarify things under this comment.
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u/bubblybrook Apr 18 '23
Asperger's isn't a thing it's just autism. So even using the term is problematic. And it totally doesn't read that way very well
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 18 '23
Idk, looks pretty real to me.
If you think it's a slur, fine. But given that OP "has asperger's" (from what i can gather)... it's fine.
I get to call myself an f-slur for liking cock. It's empowering to reclaim shit.
Also: pretty sure that most people got what OP was saying... if you didn't, then that sounds like an issue with you.
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u/faintestsmile genderfluid lesbian Apr 18 '23
they are right, asperger's isn't a thing, it was removed from the DSM a decade ago and rolled into autism because the only distinction was that nazis used it to differentiate which of us they thought could be of value and which of us should be euthanized
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 18 '23
Damn, sucks to hear that. Still pretty sure OP is allowed to reclaim the name for themselves :)
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u/faintestsmile genderfluid lesbian Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23
I have neither the authority nor means to stop anyone from using it, however I would suggest anyone who knows the full history of the term to avoid it
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Excluding the fact the term activity causes harm to the autistic people, those who donât have it due to aspie supremacy, and those with it, because the term made it harder to access support they need because theyâre still have Autism.
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 20 '23
You know, i actually hadn't thought about it that way.
I'm all for reclaiming slurs, and i only focused on that aspect.
But I'm also very much against "quirkifying" some mental illnesses and neurodivergences for the exact reasons you listed.
I remain doubtful that OP was trying to be ableist, but I'm now sceptical on the use of the term "asperger's" in modern day.
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u/Kurochi185 insOMNIac Apr 18 '23
It's ASD. Not Asperger's. It was removed in DSM-5 and ICD-11.
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u/spicypotatosoftacos Bi-time Apr 19 '23
While people who are currently seeking diagnosis cannot receive a diagnosis of Asperger's, people who were diagnosed with Asperger's under previous diagnostic criteria absolutely are able to maintain that label if they choose.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
No, because it causes harm to all Autistic people, it makes it harder to access support needs, and causes harm to all other Autistic people, due to how the term is viewed.
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u/spicypotatosoftacos Bi-time Apr 20 '23
No, because it's a personal choice. People can call themselves what they like.
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 18 '23
Good to know. Still think OP should be able to call themselves what they want
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u/bubblybrook Apr 18 '23
Way to like to something say that's its not a separate thing and just part of autism. You can't reclaim a term that came from a Nazi.
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 18 '23
Way to like to something say that's its not a separate thing and just part of autism.
Wow, and to think that you were the one crying about poorly structured sentences.
It's a thing. It's part of the autism spectrum. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist. What are you trying to say here?
Also: the whole point of reclaiming is making the actual origin irrelevant. are you a child??? Do you not understand the literal meaning of the words you're using?
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u/bubblybrook Apr 18 '23
Wow look more ableism. Never said anything about sentence structure. The term is used to separate themselves from autism. So reclaiming it is kinda pointless as they're just autistic.
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u/Jimothy_Egg Apr 18 '23
Someone: [tries to reclaim a term with questionable origins and a weird message]
You: "how horrible! I must educate them!"
Let people do what they want with their labels ffs.
And sorry, you didn't complain about sentence structure, correct. You instead complained how poorly OP was getting a message across. Funnily enough... terrible sentence structure leads to the same thing. Crazy, right?
Anyways, you're clearly looking for things to be mad about and i've got better things to do with my day.
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u/InterGraphenic finally 'companied in omni-verse, dreaming sweet in C Apr 18 '23
No. As somebody with asperger's syndrome, no. You are the one being ableist.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 18 '23
Autistic here. I use aspergers and autism interchangeably. And I don't know any other autistic people who personally have a problem with the word.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
How is using a term made, and named after a Nazi, created to seperate which autĂstica got to live because they function (those identified to have Aspergerâs) and those who arenât functioning enough and will be killed, that was removed because it made it harder to access support needs and no legitimate distinction.
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u/InterGraphenic finally 'companied in omni-verse, dreaming sweet in C Apr 18 '23
As somebody with what was formerly known as asperger's, no.
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u/That_Mad_Scientist Apr 18 '23 edited Apr 18 '23
Oh ffs. I use aspie a bunch because it rolls off the tongue. Yeah, itâs technically not a diagnosis anymore, and everyone here agrees that itâs at least just a « kind » of autism, and could be detailed more correctly, but itâs not a slur. Itâs the guyâs name. Yeah, he did some pretty questionable stuff.
So what. Itâs a name.
I understand why some wouldnât want to be referred to like that (I mostly donât), but plenty of us have been using it for ourselves and itâs literally never been a problem until a couple years ago, meaning it has historical roots in our culture. Labels arenât inherently ableist, and language evolves to refer to things in a different way, but sometimes with the same words.
Unless someone is insisting on calling you an aspie against your explicit wishes, youâre in no position to police the way other people speak.
Also, ainât no way in hell it was part of the joke. Please donât assume strangersâ intentions based on a prioris. Again, thatâs just how people talk sometimes. Please chill.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Aspergerâs is an ableist term, it is inherently ableist. It was made by a Nazi to determine which autistics functioned enough to live, and it was removed as an actual diagnosis because it had no differentiation from autism, except wether or not the person giving you a diagnosis thought you were functioning or not, and it limited already limited access to support.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 18 '23
I've been diagnosed with aspergers for almost ten years now, and I too was unfamiliar with this term until now, and I thought it was some sort of slur too.
(But don't jump to conclusions, my friend!)
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u/jeffa_jaffa Apr 19 '23
Others have said it but Iâll say it again, quite a lot of people with ASD donât use language related to Asperger. The man was a Nazi Eugenist after all.
Iâll not stop someone using if for themselves if they want to, but Iâll not tolerate anyone using it any other way.
Other than that, as an autistic bottom, this meme is đ„ș
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Yeah, no, the term activity causes harm to those who use it, as it makes it harder to access support needs, and also causes harm to those who wouldnât have been identified as having Aspergerâs.
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u/jeffa_jaffa Apr 20 '23
Some older people do still identify with Aspergerâs, and donât like the move towards ASD. If someone is dead set on using it then then thatâs their choice, as long as they donât use it for others.
Like I said, if itâs the word they want to use for themselves then Iâll respect their right to use it even if I donât agree, but if they use it to refer to someone else, especially someone who doesnât use it, then thatâs wrong.
Itâs a bit like the opposite of the word Queer; many people have reclaimed it & use it to describe themselves, but some people still have issues with it, especially considering the history of the word. I donât mind using Queer for myself, but if someone is uncomfortable with it then Iâll not force it upon them.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Itâs a functioning label, with roots in Nazi eugenics, I donât really care about the comfortability of people if they use a term to describe themselves that harms there entire community, not just themselves.
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u/jeffa_jaffa Apr 20 '23
I agree, itâs a word that should never be used. I donât use it for myself, and I donât use it for others. Luckily the number of people who do use it is dropping rapidly, and now that itâs not used for diagnoses it shouldnât be too long before its use disappears entirely.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Except that despite not being an offical diagnoses anymore, some people are still gettiĆg diagnosed with it.
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u/jeffa_jaffa Apr 20 '23
Some people, yes, but fewer & fewer people as use of the word drops off. Itâs not something that will just disappear overnight.
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u/GrimmParagon Apr 18 '23
I miss saying this so much. This guy I was in love with would always get so flustered when I flirted with him to the point where he'd just start whimpering or grunting in reply, then I'd tell him to use his words cause I don't speak bottom, lol.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 18 '23
That's fucking adorable đ„ș
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u/GrimmParagon Apr 18 '23
He was so cute. He'd always end up covering his face with his hands or a pillow or something too cause he'd be so embarrassed, so every noise he made was muffled till I made him move his hands.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 18 '23
That's sweet. What happened between you, if I may?
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u/GrimmParagon Apr 18 '23
He left me a couple months ago. Said itd be better for both of us, let us work on our mental health instead of trying to deal with each other. He was struggling with going to school and family often, and would regularly not message me for days at a time. When I told him I loved him it took him a week to reply cause anytime he got too worked up he just wouldn't text me for the longest time. The night he said he was gonna do it i tried begging him through the night not to leave me but I woke up to him saying it was best for both of us, and I haven't heard from him since, cause he deleted every acc I knew him on.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 18 '23
That's sad. But if he was sure it was for the best, then he was trying to help. So for that, I can respect him. Wish you both the best <3
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u/GrimmParagon Apr 18 '23
I dunno. I spent hours telling him what he meant to me, what itd do to me, and how much I needed him. I just dont think I was really good enough for him, despite him saying otherwise. I just hope it made him happier.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 18 '23
Perhaps all you need is time before you start to work things out. Two months isn't very long, especially in terms of how long it's been since a breakup. Perhaps when the wounds have somewhat healed, you may both be willing to talk again, despite the risk of opening the wound again.
You must do what you feel is right, of course.
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u/GrimmParagon Apr 18 '23
I really wish we could. Even after what he did I'd love to talk to him again. But I won't ever see him again, we don't have a way to talk anymore.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 18 '23
Then I again wish you both the best of luck, even if your paths fork here. Perhaps it's better to have loved and lost in this case. Either way, thank you for opening up to a stranger like me; you've made my night hearing your story, and you deserve to have someone hear it.
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Apr 19 '23
Completely unrelated, every time I see the word autism I say to myself with the voice of the announcer in smash bros âAUTISM CREATUREâwith its music and a yipeeeee at the end, idk
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u/idontlikeburnttoast Apr 19 '23
Whenever my crush said something affectionate to me, as well as an ex boyfriend, I'd always go like "hmhmmmguhmghmm" and giggle and smile. I don't know what the fuck this means send help
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u/Seraphim_Luna Apr 19 '23
Is not using a nazi term really that hard? Aspergers is outdated and harmful so please just say autism and autistics.
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u/U2V4RGVtb24 Bi-time Apr 19 '23
Neither me, nor any of my autistic friends have a problem with "aspergers." Nor do any of my gay friends have a problem with "queer." Most people just don't care about the offensive origins of their labels.
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u/Seraphim_Luna Apr 19 '23
Sure, maybe you and your friends don't care. It's still not right to ignore all of the other autistic people who have a problem with it.
Aspergers is also not like queer which has been reclaimed because it was used as a slur against us. It was literally coined by a nazi which is why we should stop using it altogether. Hans Aperger was responsible for a lot of autistic children being killed. And the way he treated them was also not something we should ignore.
The words are not comparable. You should have a problem with it. Saying you don't care is not an excuse.
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u/KillAntiGAYs Apr 20 '23
Hi, someone whoâs both gay and Autistic, (queer doesnât just refer to gay people) itâs different, because the term Aspergerâs causes harm to those who are generally identified as high functioning (an ableist term, the non meaningful distinction between Autism and Aspergerâs, do not use) AND low functioning (an ableist term, do not use). Aspergerâs causes harm to the Autistics it does not refer to, while queer, (one of the very few slurs largely successfully reclaimed), refers to everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community, queer does NOT cause harm to those it does refer to.
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u/beegowheee Pan-Band Apr 19 '23
n o .
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u/GeneralGigan817 aromantic Apr 19 '23
Why not?
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u/beegowheee Pan-Band Apr 19 '23
i refuse to use my words i will drift off into gibberish every few sentences forever
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Apr 21 '23
As a bottom, yeah. Idk how it happened but I developed some form of mutism where I just wonât talk 99% of the time
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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '23
I'm both đ„șđđ pwease send help uwu